glaad

7 Ways To Be Gender-inclusive In Your Language 

Take action for Spirit Day on October 19th!

@dylanmarron met with two students to discuss overcoming anti-LGBTQ bullying: “It can’t be just shoved under the rug into this box of, ‘Well that’s snowflake stuff.’”

If you feel safe doing so, stand up with the LGBTQ+ community today (and every day). You can take the pledge, you can donate, you can wear purple to show you believe in GLAAD’s Spirit Day mission to end bullying. 

And remember, if you need someone to talk to, we have a list of free and confidential counseling hotlines and live chats for you to use. 

@glaad

First Day of Elementary School to College!

I wasn’t out to anyone when I started my Freshman year of High School. I knew I was gay, but I was so scared to tell people. I first talked to my parents about being gay when I was 12, but they brushed it off. I tried again when I was 15 and brought home my first girlfriend, they believed me that time.

First day of pre-k to first semester of my senior year.

College was the first place I had the opportunity to seek out community, and I ended up with a family. There’s something really special about being around a group of people who truly understand you and your identity.

I was raised in a small, conservative town. Growing up in public school, I was frequently asked to identify who inspires me. Lack of queer visibility and nondiversity in education made it difficult to find someone who I truly felt connected to or inspired by. Queerness was avoided in discussion and entirely left out of curriculum. It was difficult to truly know myself without knowing that who I am could exist.

The LGBTQ+ community is powerful, but it is not always accessible- especially in small towns and on small campuses. It is incredibly easy to mistake a lack of physical community for total isolation.

In these moments, I have learned to curate a community within myself. I have taught myself the queer history that I was denied in school. I have become both teacher and student, building my identity from rebellion and survival.

Yesterday I saw a lot of folks sharing out the USA Today article suggesting that James Mattis is “freezing” the transgender ban in the military, a similar NY Times article picked up that narrative as well. These articles are, unfortunately, misleading.

The policy, per the original executive order, makes that clear.

The ban has three parts, it:

Bans (openly) trans individuals from enlisting.

Prevents the military from paying for gender reassignment surgeries.

Directs the Secretary of Defense to complete a study assessing how to deal with active duty trans soldiers by February.

That final section specifically notes, emphasis mine: 

“As part of the implementation plan, the Secretary of Defense, in consultation with the Secretary of Homeland Security, shall determine how to address transgender individuals currently serving in the United States military.  Until the Secretary has made that determination, no action may be taken against such individuals”

While there has been reporting indicating that the military was caught entirely off-guard by the ban, and that some senior military officials are supportive of trans folks serving (and skeptical of the policy), there is no indication that this process is being “frozen” or that Mattis or any administration officials are trying to undermine the directive. Mattis is quite literally following the order as written.

For reference, the DOD already studied this under Obama, and concluded that the military should move forward with allowing trans folks to serve.

And, as the quote I shared out yesterday underlined, even if (in the most optimistic scenario) the new DOD study suggests that some or all current service members could stay, the damage has already been done in many ways.

I want you to know that I see you.

I see you sitting in the pew, with your parents, as your pastor talks about what an abomination those transgender people are. I see your face burn with the recognition that he’s talking about you. I see you slink down in your seat and hope to disappear. I see you.

I see you facing the dread of back to school shopping. Longing to wear dresses and colors and instead being forced to wear the drab slacks and button downs. Because no one knows who you really are and you can’t tell them yet. But I see you and I know you.

I see you the first time you tighten that tie around your neck and breathe deeply gathering up the courage to walk out the front door. I see you when you have the courage to leave. And I see you when you take the tie off and go watch TV instead.

I see you struggling to find words (and clothes) to match the gender you are because your gender doesn’t fit in a world that separates everything out and quantifies it in categories. I see you defying those categories and I see you worry because of it.

I see you google “dating a transgender person” and reading article after article about how hard it is to love someone like you. I see you close the browser and delete your dating profile.

I see you working three jobs and starting a GoFundMe to help pay for your transition. I see you hustling to have enough money to eat. I see you feeling beaten down by everything.

I see you when you face violence. All types of violence: physical, emotional, spiritual.

I also see you when you claim your identity. I see you for your first shot, as you’re coming out of gender confirming surgery, as you buy clothing that fits you for the first time.

I see you as you march, holding the transgender flag. I see you as you fight, fist up, for your right to exist.

I see you getting up out of that pew and leaving that unaffirming church never to return. I see you finding a new community that welcomes you with open arms.

I see you asserting your identity by insisting that people use your name and pronouns.

I see you finding someone who loves you for who you are and who realizes what a gift you are in their lives.

I see you existing. And surviving. And thriving.

I want you to know that you are seen and loved just as you are. I want you to know that you are not a disruption, a burden, or a too-expensive-cost, no matter what the president says. No matter what your pastor says. No matter what your parent says. No matter what your ex-partner says. These things are not true.

What is true is this:

God loves you not in spite of your transness but because of it. God has gifted you with your unique and beautiful identity. And God loves you because of your identity.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Whether you choose to medically transition or don’t. Whether you are binary identified or nonbinary. Whether you “pass” or not.

You are beautiful just as you are. In all of your various identities.

You are needed. You are celebrated. You are a gift.

You are lovable and worthy and strong.

You are amazing. You are seen.

You are loved.

- Fr. Shay