"A dream that showed me I was worthy of love despite deep-seated self-hatred and personal loathing // I'm sorry for leaving, but you were just a dream and I had school in the morning."
Last night when I slept, I came face-to-face with a person I quickly fell in love with. Their eyes held me, captivating every thought. I knew I was dreaming which angered me. The knowledge they did not exist annoyed me.
Yet, despite my anger,.I didn't care. The person, though fake, looked at me in a way nobody else had. They saw me for who and what I was, and it was freeing.
I did not need a label.
I did not need to speak.
They held me while I slept, still dreaming. They held me as I wept for a person that did not exist. I had never felt this way before.
Words didn't need to be spoken. We both understood what the other intended.
A "carefree" body, missing weight. I loved them more than I had ever loved myself.
When I woke I could barely move. I had seen who I could be, and I had seen a reason to love.
When I sleep tonight I hope to see them again. I know I won't, yet I still hope. I hope that I won't need to have this body, this face, this name. I hope to be held, even if just for a moment.
