Girl With Sword and Bow

The missing sex scene in Tampa haunts my dreams. The fact that it happens after their first real and honest conversation, the fact that Ilya is desperate for validation that Shane still wants him, not only after leaving him in Boston and going on to date Rose Landry but also after seeing him emotionally vulnerable. The catharsis that took place in that bed is beyond anything they have ever experienced before and it is, at times, the only thing I can think about.

ilya rozanov and his big naturals

Sometimes I feel kind of crazy when I think of things like this. Like. People will confidently claim that antisemitism is over because, idk, some USAmerican universities got rid of their anti-Jewish quotas in the 60s, and Russia stopped categorically denying Jews freedom of movement in the 80s. Meanwhile there are still Spanish religious holidays where people publicly chant “kill the Jews”, and meanwhile Germany still won’t remove their statues of Jews fellating pigs, and meanwhile Polish people are carrying around little talismans of “Jews with coins” that you’re supposed to turn upside down on Saturday for good luck, and if you dare to point out that hey, wtf, all of that is like, unbelievably racist??? You get told that oh no, don’t be silly, these are all just innocent cultural practices, they have nothing to do with antisemitism, stop being such a spoil-sport about it. Like idk! Idk! I just feel like maybe it’s unreasonable to complain that Jews won’t shut up about antisemitism, when citizens of a EU member state are still celebrating a quirky little religious holiday where they publicly chant “kill the Jews”!

"it's not that deep" START DIGGING!!

I want to rest, but also i want to do stuff, but also i don’t want to do anything

Leather fetishes are back in cuz everything is polyester these days.. touching real HQ material in 2026 is enough to give anyone a little sexual zing

Ilya packing for the cottage like "gotta look hott gotta give SLUT but also show that I'm cool and don't care even though hollander knows I care and it should be warm right let me bring tank tops because Shane—Hollander—no—Shane likes them I know he does I think he does ah swim stuff tiny shorts the ones I wore at the pool in Tampa when Holl—Shane looked good enough to eat maybe he will let me eat him maybe I will tell him I care for him NO this is a sex vacation NO we are something maybe we could be something did I really dance at Scott Hunter's gay club do you think Shane would dance with me sexy at a club or maybe we will dance under the stars at his boring country cottage maybe I will tell him everything maybe I will just tell him one thing I like about him maybe I will bring one Boston Raiders t-shirt to piss him off maybe I will suck him off outside maybe I will tell him I love him— ONE THING AT A TIME ROZANOV"

i wonder what it's like to be emotionally stable. anyways [thinks about fictional characters to survive] i am fine

u ever think about how when ilya selectively remembers his mother as being so superhumanly bright and funny and wonderful and shining, he’s actually just remembering her being manic