not a bot

sports be like: that’s our casino sponsor. that’s our injury sponsor. that’s our time out sponsor. thats our 3rd period penalty sponsor. that’s our midweek hotel stay sponsor

me when im so sweet and beautiful monday

my favorite coworker told me the scenario she thinks of to fall asleep is she stumbles upon a baby sheep and has to raise it and it grows up and she has to shear it and she says she envisions shearing it so carefully that she always falls asleep at that part

#rather than counting sheep she makes that one sheep count

the low income paypig would like to send mistress 10 dollars

i think taylor swift wishes she was bisexual because she knows it would make her slightly more money. whereas sabrina carpenter wishes she was bisexual so she could have sex with someone who looks exactly like herself. and ariana grande wishes she was bisexual because she did too many designer drugs on the set of wicked and now she has kin memories of being glinda for real