1. I get off on porn smartly and mindfully. I am interested in my desire. I do not presume it is natural, static, or predictable. I observe its form and shape, not because I want to know how my childhood experiences or social conditioning might have determined it beyond my control, but because I want to know its relationship to my happiness, my suffering, my creativity, and my politics.

2. I do not take my “self” as a viewer too seriously. I do not feel I need to conform to any expectation-on the part of the marketers, my communities,or myself-about what “people like me,” or with my body parts, should desire. I can, with some effort, practice erotic egolessness and/or performativity by exploring the delicious potential of cross-identifications and non-identifications. In sum, I practice the art of spectatorship, identifying and disidentifying with the images made available to me.

3. I am responsible for the impact of my sexual desires and sexual consumerism on others and myself. I will be mindful of where and to whom I direct my gaze, with particular attention to matters of consent and dehumanization.

4. I cultivate a private, internal space where I can honor and observe the complexity of my sexuality as it evolves. Though I remain publicly accountable, I provide myself with moments of exploratory freedom, creative license, and orgasmic surprises. I let my sexuality take me off guard. I move into it, even when it scares me. I trust myself to work productively -queerly and feministly- with my desire.