2hollis x rommulas — hollis x roman
tw!! underage drinking, drug usage/dealing & sexual acts. depictions & mentions of physical & verbal abuse. // tags , making out, dry humping/thigh riding, oral/head, body lines. most of which done while under influence (so dubcon kinda??)
a/n . . : super long chapter WOAH. hope u all like it & tysm every1 for ur support & patience <222 ty 4 reading ily
fear is binding. it ties you to things you never wish to think about yet it looms. its presence is suffocating and undeniable. it exists in all of us. we exist because of it. hollis and roman feared a lot of things but most specifically, they feared each other. that fear ate them up from the inside out, every second since they met each other.
the past week was near perfect. it’d been a breath of fresh air for roman and he wasn’t ready to go home yet. hollis wasn’t ready for him to leave either.
roman stood in the kitchen, washing their dishes from breakfast. hollis’ mother left early for work every morning and angus was out of town with their dad. so they were alone everyday. they were having so much fun playing house. “do you have to leave tomorrow?” hollis snuck up behind the boy, arms snaking around his waist as his bare chest leaned against roman’s back.
the shorter boy was buried in one of hollis’ hoodies, nothing else on underneath. he’d been stealing his clothes all week. “yeah..” roman muttered, turning off the water as he finished up.
“i can only be gone so long before they start sending out missing fliers..” roman explained half heartedly. he really hated being home. he’d much rather stay with hollis but he couldn’t just tell his family that. he’d never live it down and they certainly wouldn’t be okay with it. especially if they met hollis. his look alone was way too progressive for them. they could barely stand the way he carried himself.
hollis groaned against the boy’s neck before gently turning him around to face him. he loved being alone with him, getting to kiss him whenever he wanted and not just to put a show on for their friends. he pecked his lips softly before leaning his forehead on roman’s. “i wish you could stay..” the blonde whispered sheepishly, hands raising to cup his face.
roman leaned into his touch as he nodded in agreement. “me too..” his voice barely above a whisper.
it killed hollis when he spoke like that. he sounded so frail and scared. what was going on at home that drove him away so much and made him fear it like this? it made him sick. he didn’t want to know. a looming fear of what he may do in retaliation in attempt to protect him.
hollis was not an aggressive man. however, he’d do anything to assure roman’s safety and happiness.
a soft sigh left holli’s lips as his hands slowly ran down his face to hold the sides of his neck. “you look so pretty in my clothes.”
roman’s face immediately flushed a light pink. he muttered a small thanks, eyes trailing to the floor as he shyly avoided hollis’. “don’t look away from me.” hollis firmly directed, grabbing his chin to force roman to look at him again.
he pushed him into the kitchen counters, careful not to hurt the fragile boy. “be nice to me,” roman whined at him, staring up at the boy with a subtle pout. eyes big as ever. “you first.” hollis teased, smirk creeping at the corners of his mouth.
“i am,” roman whined furthermore, wrapping his arms around his neck, hollis’ hands still pressed firmly against his lower back.
he leaned up on his tip toes to press a short kiss to holli’s lips, attempting to pull him closer before he pulled away. “keep this.. it looks better on you,” hollis smiled with satisfaction as they broke the kiss, moving a hand to play with the end of the hoodie.
they savored the moment in that kitchen. their last moment alone before everything would come crashing down the next day.
friday morning, roman left while hollis was still asleep. he couldn’t stomach a goodbye after spending the whole week together. it was something like magic and now he was being thrown back into the harshest of realities.
by the time afternoon came, hollis had blown up his phone. from the second he woke up…
‘can we hang before beach on mon ?’
‘don’t tell the boys tho’
‘txt me wen i can call u’
roman finally got back to him maybe an hour later. he didn’t even text back. he just facetimed him.
the call connected in seconds revealing hollis laid up in bed, no shirt, just messy blonde hair and a bunched up blanket, likely in place of roman.
roman was laying in bed as well, still in the hoodie hollis gave him the day before. “hey,” he spoke quietly, lowering his phone volume.
“what happened?” hollis peered nosily. roman never talked about home and what was so bad about it. he was concerned. he knew he didn’t want to know but he had to.
roman sighed, clearly uninterested in talking about how his day had gone already. “nothing.. i was just…- with my dad,” he dismissed in a chaste manner, hand coming up to rub his face, visibly stressed.
“oh..” hollis hummed. he respected it but he could tell how bad he felt. he hated not being there to comfort him.
there was silence for a minute. maybe longer. as they stared at each other on their screens, silently longing and missing each other.
then finally, hollis broke it. “i miss you.” he admitted, almost on cue as angelo barged into the room. “who the fuck are you talking to?” he twisted his face as he looked at his little brother, catching a glimpse of the long haired individual on his phone.
“no one.” roman immediately answered, hostility clear in his voice.
“that bitch got a deep ass voice.” angelo scoffed, adamant on teasing the youngest.
roman huffed with frustration. “can you shut the fuck up?” he grumbled, hiding his phone screen better as he turned the volume down more.
“whatever bro.” angelo laughed though roman was clearly irritated.
hollis stayed silent, texting him a simple ‘sorry’. roman just shook his head, dismissing the situation.
it clearly bothered him but he didn’t want to dwell. hollis just couldn’t help feeling terrible about what he’d heard. he didn’t need to hear much to figure out what kind of guy angelo was and what their relationship was like.
angelo shuffled through the room as roman and hollis returned to staring at one another. silence taking over.
the illusion of peace didn’t last long though. “yo, where the fuck is my shit?” angelo’s voice raised, holli’s brows furrowing with concern as roman just ignored him.
“did you touch my stash?” angelo marched over to the boy’s bed, shoving his arm forcefully. “why the fuck would i?” roman turned to look at him, looking at him with confusion as hollis tried to ignore the way angelo touched him.
he and angus play fought all the time. he wanted to believe that was normal.
but angelo only persisted. “well it’s not there! i swear to god roman, you better not be fucking lying,” he only became more aggressive. hollis hated it. he was filling with anger himself now.
“i don’t need your shit.” roman muttered, visibly irritated as he just tried to brush him off.
angelo didn’t leave it alone though of course, he swung, striking the boy’s chest. not so much to hurt him but to assert dominance more than anything. angelo’s voice raised again. “shut the fuck up already! i’ll tell dad-”
suddenly the mic cut out. roman had muted himself and hollis was left watching them silently argue. he’d never seen roman so heated and even with no sound, he could tell how livid he was. the argument only escalating further and further.
hollis was angry as well but there was nothing he could do.. he was sure roman wouldn’t let him help either way. he tried to wait it out, staring at the screen as he watched them go back and forth.
suddenly all he saw was angelo swing again, the phone falling over as the punch landed.
the screen went dark, hollis shooting up with concern and rage. “rom?” he called out, voice shaking slightly.
silence. screen still covered.
“roman.” he repeated. tone slightly pleading like he was begging for him to answer.
a few seconds later, the phone finally moved. the top half of roman’s face was now the only thing visible in the camera, holding it close to his face as he unmuted.
“tell your little boyfriend to mind his fucking business.” angelo warned aggressively.
roman’s eyes were clearly watery but neither of them addressed it. “shut the fuck up.” he boldly replied, his brother slamming the door behind him in response as he stormed out.
hollis was hesitant to speak again, roman’s sniffles being the only thing he could hear now. “a-are you okay?” he stammered.
“fine.” roman dismissed him. “where do you wanna go? on monday?” he redirected the conversation immediately, still facing the camera away from his whole face. hollis found that suspicious but he didn’t pry.
“maybe the mall? i don’t care.. i just wanna be alone with you again.” he admitted shamelessly.
the younger nodded though only barely visible. “kay..” he whispered, sniffling louder this time.
“you’re crying.” hollis pointed out.
roman was silent. he knew hollis was right he just didn’t wanna talk about it. he never did. he wasn’t like hollis. he didn’t like to talk about his feelings.
“i love you romi..” he whispered when he took too long to respond. like a silent assurance it was okay not to talk about it. he made sure not to say it too loud. just in case angelo wanted to eavesdrop.
roman took a deep breath. “i love you holli..” his voice wavered slightly. that broke hollis.
“i’m gonna hug you so fucking tight on monday.” hollis assured him. he didn’t mean to sound so stern but he just felt so much anger for roman’s brother in that moment.
the younger boy sniffled even more. “okay..” he bit his lip. he certainly couldn’t stop crying now.
“i miss you holli..” his voice broke as he let his tears stream down his face now, still crying silently. he could never make a sound. then everyone in his family would know he was crying. and he’d get it worse than whatever angelo just gave to him.
hollis’ heart broke for him, running a hand through his hair. “shh.. don’t cry.. you’ll be back soon.” he assured him, finally laying back down as he tried to keep talking him
through it. “lemme see your face..” he requested softly. he wanted to see his beautiful boy but he was also desperate to know why he was hiding now.
roman’s hands shook slightly as he obliged and adjusted the camera angle back the way he had it before, revealing a busted bottom lip. it was vile. mouth still bleeding and lips torn.
“fuck..” hollis reacted without thinking, exhaling sharply. there weren’t enough words to describe how badly hollis wanted to just kiss it all away.
roman rubbed his thumb over the wound. “it goes away fast..” he muttered, like this had happened tons of times before. which was true. angelo often bust his lips open. he was always handsy.. always had been. even before all the drugs and hostility.
the look in hollis’ eyes was so transparent. it spoke volumes without him ever having to speak a single word. the sympathy he held for roman beamed in his eyes. roman could see it. he didn’t hate it as much as he thought he would. he always hated when people felt bad for him but he liked it when it was hollis.
“what’s gonna make you happy right now?” holli’s voice remained gentle as he spoke to the boy. careful not to alarm or distress him any more so than he already was.
“you.” roman replied immediately. no need to think. he knew exactly what he wanted.
hollis smiled tenderly at the response. “what else?” he hated that he couldn’t be there with him. he just wanted to make everything okay for roman.
“just you.” he admitted as he shook his head, locking eyes with hollis over facetime.
hollis just sighed with disappointment. he just wanted to rush right over but they both knew that wasn’t possible. “you’re not free til monday,” holli reminded.
roman just nodded. “i know.. i know.” he whispered. seconds later, his door burst open again. angelo.
“we out. get the fuck up.” angelo alerted, leaving the door wide open when he walked away.
the brunette sighed heavily as he sat up in bed. “i gotta go, i’ll text you,” roman assured as he got out of bed.
“okay.. talk later…” hollis hummed in response, doing a shit job at hiding his disappointment for their call being cut short.
no ‘i love you’. they weren’t alone.
roman just hung up the phone, tucking the device into his back pocket.
monday eventually arrived, after what felt like a hundred thousand years. roman and hollis met up at the boardwalk a few hours before they all had agreed on, eager to be alone again.
roman ran to hollis the moment he spotted him waiting by a drink stand. they immediately wrapped up into each other, hugging for as long as they could possibly stand. hollis stayed true to his word and hugged the boy as tight as possible. he never wanted to let go. not now. not after knowing why he hated going home so much. he didn’t wanna send him back to that.
hollis ran a hand through roman’s hair, leaning his head back to get a good look at his face. “poor ro..” he whispered with a pout, gently pecking his lips. roman smiled at the gesture, not hesitant to grab hollis’ face and kiss him a little deeper.
they shared the short kiss before joining hands to begin their stroll down the boardwalk. they were so excited to see each other again and it was clear in the smiles they wore on their faces.
as they walked, they kept squeezing each other’s hands, hollis occasionally lifting their hands to kiss roman’s knuckles.
the boys walked for awhile before finding a store with clothes they wanted to browse. “i missed you,” hollis admitted for the 500th time since they got there, flicking through the clothes on the rack. roman stayed close, he couldn’t bare be too far away from him. not right now. he needed hollis more than ever.
“i missed you too,” he replied shyly, watching all the items hollis rejected. “can you sleep over tonight?” hollis asked with hope in his eyes, smiling widely at him like that might persuade him.
roman chuckled at how enthusiastic he seemed. “maybe..” he muttered. “i have to ask angelo.” he explained, grabbing a tee off the rack.
hollis was curious why he had to run it by his older brother.. but he wasn’t sure he’d wanna talk about it. after what he saw on friday.. he was surprised roman even still talked to his brother. then again, he didn’t know all the details.
they didn’t end up buying anything and left the store, continuing to explore what else the boardwalk had. a few minutes before they headed to the beach, roman got a message from his brother.
roman breathed out a sigh of relief as he read it briefly. he put his phone away, deciding to keep it as a surprise for hollis.
they rushed down to the beach where the boys had all agreed to meet. they had spent the last two hours together but it still didn’t feel like enough time. thankfully they’d have the night together again.
nate, ryan and finn were already there by the time they arrived on the beach, almost perfectly on time. they all noted that they arrived together but no one said anything.
no matter how badly nate wanted to.
they set up their towels and everything by the shore, ryan and finn rushing into the water as the other three sat on the sand for a bit, basking in the sun that was slowly starting to set.
roman and hollis sat on the same towel. no shock.
their hands still lingered next to each other, fighting everything not to intertwine their fingers again. they enjoyed hanging out with their friends but it put a bit of a damper on things when they were always just so eager to be alone. not like they were great at hiding their feelings though. they were too close for anyone not to know what was going on there.
nate’s eyes lingered with something like curiosity. hollis just called it nosy. he was always like that but he and hollis had been friends since they were kids so he was always looking out for him and hollis wasn’t exactly smart when it came to boys. it never came out of holli’s mouth but nate could tell that he struggled with his identity and not wanting to like boys. hence why hollis never tread with caution. he always allowed himself to be used and abused whenever it came to a boy because to him, none of it was real because they were both boys. he just viewed them all as really close friends. after what happened with ryan, nate was worried to say the least. he didn’t wanna see hollis hurt again after accepting yet another stray into their friend group.
hollis was too nice for his own good.
in order to keep his hands away from roman, hollis leaned forward and took his shirt off. they were at the beach after all. he placed the article on the sand beside him, opposite of roman, whose eyes lingered on his now bare chest. nothing he hadn’t seen before. hollis was often shirtless but now they were in public. he couldn’t just get on top of hollis the way he wanted to. that made everything so much harder.
his mind began to race far too much, forcing himself to look away. his eyes trailed to the water and the two boys already playing around, practically drowning each other by the shore.
roman choked out a laugh as he watched their antics. hollis noticed, following the boy’s gaze and cracking a smile.
hollis wrapped an arm around the smaller’s shoulder as a way to keep him close that didn’t exactly put them on blast. hollis always had an arm around someone. roman noticed that. it wasn’t his favorite thing when holli was holding someone else but he loved it when he had his arm on him.
the brunette leaned his head on the older’s chest, eyes never leaving their idiotic friends. “you don’t wanna swim?” holli leaned down to whisper into roman’s ear. it made him feel like his skin was on fire and only hollis could put it out.
he simply shook his head as he stayed close, perfectly happy where he was. safe and content in holli’s arms. he’d been missing it since friday. so he dare not move now.
eventually nate ran off to get in the water and join whatever it was finn and ryan were doing. some kind of water game. mostly wrestling each other though.
the two boys remained dry and content on the towel, savoring the closeness as they watched the shore and the sun behind it.
when it finally got dark, they all piled into nate’s car and picked up some food before heading to finn’s house. they had agreed on having a bonfire and finn’s backyard was the best place for it.
they got tacos because it was easy and frankly they were lazy. they ate outside while nate & finn set up the fire. the other three tried to help but they begged them not to. they didn’t trust ryan, hollis was bad at following directions and they barely knew roman. so they just stuck with a safe bet.
the bonfire wasn’t hard to put together and they all gathered around in camping chairs. they only used four, of course. there were enough but hollis had pulled roman onto his lap before he could even grab one for himself.
“i can’t believe you tried to drown me!” ryan complained, each boy with a drink in hand by now, pointing a finger at finn accusingly.
they all laughed. “i swear it wasn’t on purpose!” finn raised his hands in defense. “nate was climbing on my back!”
nate burst out laughing. “you were talking shit like two seconds before that, your ass had it coming!” he remarked in his own defense.
it was amusing watching them recap their day at the beach. roman and hollis didn’t even care that they had excluded themselves. they preferred hearing about it than having to spend even more time apart. roman took a sip of his drink, leaning more into the boy underneath him who was holding him like he might fly away if he didn’t. hollis seemed overly possessive today. which didn’t go unnoticed by roman— or any of them really.
“i can’t believe you guys didn’t swim, you love swimming holli,” nate pointed out, slight suspicion, though tone still discreet.
hollis read right through him. he gave a playful glare. “i didn’t feel like washing my hair,” he shrugged. solid excuse. they all knew how well he took care of it and salt water was never a friend to his long blonde hair.
“why?” roman wondered, voice soft and almost a whisper as he laid into his chest. maybe it was the liquor but hollis swore the boy was already trying to seduce him. or maybe it was just the fact that he was sitting on his dick and only leaning into it more the more he moved.
hollis inhaled sharply, grabbing roman by the waist to adjust him slightly on his lap. unable to think clearly with so much pressure on him. “it dries out my hair,” he tried to act as casual as he could. but it wasn’t really working.
roman nodded in understanding, pressing his face into his hair to whisper in his ear. “you okay?” he was already a little tipsy but that was obvious. hollis cleared his throat, trying to keep his cool. “yup..” he whispered back, hand raising to the back of roman’s head, gently stroking his hair and massaging his scalp a little. he was trying to silently encourage him to pull away with his actions, even tugging slightly on his hair to pull him away.
but roman remained. he’d leaned into the boy’s neck more, starting to kiss it through all his hair. not even bothering to move it. he was subtle though… everyone just assumed roman was tired. hiding away in hollis’ hair from the chaos of conversation.
the boys all continued to converse, complaining about the lack of girls on the beach and the unruly games played earlier that day in the water. roman eventually pulled away. somewhere in the middle of one of their stories.
as the night went on they continued to drink and made their way through a few blunts. nothing unusual. average night for them.
by the time they made their way through the third blunt, roman was curled in hollis’ lap, hand over his ears and groaning every few seconds. “holli, my head is so loud,” he’d complain, speaking a little louder than he liked to.
the others all laughed at the way he was reacting to the weed. hollis found him so cute like this, running a hand through his hair in attempt to calm him down. “i know.. you’re okay..” he whispered to him which roman only followed up with another groan.
holli’s gentleness was suddenly the star of the show. “last time i greened out, hollis threw a bottle of water at me and told me to ‘nut up.’” ryan pointed out, evil smirk across his face.
nate sniggered. “i remember that— hollis also did a strip show that ni-”
“new story!” hollis cut him off, eyes widening with embarrassment. it wasn’t one he wanted roman to hear. not yet maybe.
even though roman was clearly groggy, he didn’t want to take any chances, glaring at his friends.
“first time i greened out with holli, he rolled me another blunt,” finn chimed in, clearly high as a kite.
hollis sighed, ready to argue with his friends when roman popped up. “i wanna go home.. i wanna be alone..” he groaned. almost zombie like.
alone. that was code. code hollis knew exactly how to decode.
“alone?” holli’s brows furrowed as he whispered the word back to the boy. the brunette nodded tiredly. “i uh- i gotta get him home,” hollis spoke up, carrying roman against his chest as he got up from his chair.
they each slurred out a goodbye, weakly waving to the two, the affects slowly getting to them one by one.
hollis got them an uber to his house, assuming that’s what he meant by alone.
when they got into the car, roman was immediately all over hollis. he was wrestling with the boy’s hair as he dug his face against his neck to sloppily kiss the skin. he hummed, the vibration echoing through hollis’ body.
“wait..” hollis gulped, roman’s teeth grazing his adam’s apple as he tried to get his attention. “are you sleeping over?” he breathed out heavily, trying not to feel embarrassed for subjecting the driver to such a scene.
roman nodded desperately, hand sliding down hollis’ chest. “angelo.. texted..” he managed to get out the words between kisses, leaving it at just that.
it was good enough for hollis and he quickly lost himself in roman’s state. he grabbed the boy’s face and pulled him to his lips, slurping up all the drool that was already pooling on his face and chin. “don’t be so messy.” he scolded softly, none at all serious. regardless, roman’s big brown doe eyes stared up at him as he nodded obediently. “okay..”
when they arrived at the house, they stumbled inside, already starting to undress each other as they blindly looked for hollis’ room. which they found with ease.
hollis snatched roman’s shirt off over his head, throwing it on the floor before pushing him against his bedroom door. his body pressed into roman’s, their foreheads touching as holli forced eye contact on him. “you were on me all night,” his hips rolled forward once in a circle against the front of roman’s jeans. “i wanted you,” roman admitted through a slur, already drooling again as he stared up at the blonde through half-open eyes.
hollis chuckled with amusement. “you’re something else, roman leal..” he pointed out, nothing but seduction in his voice and a scary mix of love and lust in his eyes.
“mm..” roman groaned, this time with pleasure. “say my name a hundred times over..” he pleaded softly, bringing his hands to cup holli’s face as the taller man lifted him up and carried him to the bed.
roman’s back hit the mattress, hands eagerly searching to remove hollis’ shirt. which quickly came off, following the same fate as roman’s shirt.
they leaned into each other as they made out rather aggressively, their bodies becoming one.
when they pulled away for air, roman didn’t hesitate to let his hands travel out of his hair and onto his chest, his legs wrapped securely around his waist. “i love your body..” he whispered, doe eyes shooting up at hollis again.
the blonde placed a hand atop of the latter’s following the pattern he was grazing against his bare chest. “i know..” hollis nodded at him. it clearly wasn’t a secret. not the kind roman thought it was.
roman rolled his eyes slightly, “so cocky..” he complained playfully. hollis couldn’t help but laugh as he leaned in to peck the boy’s lips. “i love your body too..” he whispered gently, moving his hand to caress roman’s chest now.
the smaller boy cracked a smile, sitting up slightly to tug off his jeans. “i’m tired holli..” he whined softly, reverting to that same fussy high he experienced back at finn’s house. hollis grounded himself immediately, his hands rushing to help roman finish getting undressed. “can i borrow clothes..?” roman asked though the courtesy was unnecessary. hollis always let him borrow clothes, in fact he wanted him to.
“of course,” hollis’ smile was warm, as usual. he got up from the bed, undoing his jeans on the way to his closet. he grabbed the usual formula, sweatpants and a tee. only one top. he stopped sleeping with a shirt on with roman months ago. they were closer than close already. what was such a big deal?
hollis brought the clothes back to the bed, roman already in and out of consciousness again in the short time he left him alone. they were both soon changed for bed, crawling under the blankets to lay close together. roman always found solace in hollis arms, laying against his bare chest. he provided a warmth that he could never experience at home… both physically and metaphorically. hollis was his home anyway.
roman went back home the next day after angelo texted to let him know they needed him. things with his family were complicated so he couldn’t exactly bail on them. it was complicated.
the next week was terrible for him. angelo’s behavior only got worse as it went on and roman was finding it harder and harder to cling to any hope that he’d get through it without hurting his brother or himself. but, his father and brother dealt with drops every week, at least once a week. sometimes more, depending on demand and what they were getting. that was when he wasn’t supposed to be home.. when he left to stay with hollis and play pretend that everything was okay.
roman had had a long day with his dad and brother, enduring more than enough abuse from angelo for one day. well the whole week technically. angelo never missed a day.
it was the same shit, day after day.
they’d been in the streets all week, distributing drugs like they had a quota to fill. which wasn’t exactly untrue. their father always treated them better whenever they cleared their stash.. however, shit always got tense when it started to overflow. with the drops every week, they couldn’t afford to just hold all the time or have it in the house for extended periods.
drop day was typically the deadline. angelo never had leftovers but roman’s sales tactics did need some help. sometimes angelo would help him out; not willingly but occasionally a friend would hit him up last minute after angelo had run out of his own stock. other times.. roman had to manually get rid of his stock.
it wasn’t always a choice to get high but he couldn’t look back now and there was certainly no out of the ‘family business.’
his father had his own stories about being angelo and roman’s age and being forced to sell just the same. it was a shock that he was even still alive now but maybe he was just better at selling drugs than they were.
roman was laying in his bed. the time was somewhere around midnight and 2am. he couldn’t pay attention anymore. he was too disoriented.
the pillow beneath his head was drenched in tears and the drool he couldn’t be bothered to control any longer. he wasn’t sure how long he’d been sobbing there. but his body was screaming. everything hurt. in every way possible.
the accumulated altercations across the week were starting to add up, especially after the fight they got into that evening.
roman couldn’t even remember what started it.. something about costing him a deal. the boy still looked so painfully like a teenager… so the buyer backed out the second roman crept up behind angelo. it was the reason he wasn’t allowed to be around when they had drops. no one wants to leave thousands of dollars worth of drugs in the hands of a child. at least, that’s how they always explained it to roman. but he could tell they only said it to demean him. he was just a child after all.
a child peddling drugs to grown adults but, a child nonetheless. apparently.
he had unread messages from hollis. he always did. especially on days like this. he’d been out all day, preying on anyone he could come across. he hadn’t gotten rid of his stash yet and the upcoming drop was taunting him. he knew if his dad found out he had anything left, it’d be over for him.
initially he didn’t have much to get rid of.. he could easily spend it on himself within the next two days but angelo forced him to take the last of his stock for costing him the deal. it wasn’t fair to roman but it was logic to angelo. it was roman’s problem now. and it was driving him crazy already.
the screen stayed open on his texts with hollis, trying to find any strength inside him to text him back. he was all he wanted all the time but he just felt so sick.
before roman could text back, hollis began typing. just knowing they were on the same screen at the same time comforted him.
did u fall asleep texting me back?
hollis wasted no time. the call ringing on roman’s screen immediately. he answered after lowering his phone’s volume. usual. even though it was late, there was no guarantee angelo was asleep. their parents didn’t care enough to obsess over his personal life but his brother however… he was always looking for something to blackmail him with. hollis would be perfect material. roman couldn’t let that happen.
the camera was facing his forehead, moreso his hair and hairline than anything. “i miss you.. i miss your face.” hollis was quick to admit. he never hid his feelings from roman. even when he didn’t want to face them. he was always transparent with him.
“i miss you too..” roman bit his lip, fighting a smile. it was still evident on his face how bad of a state he was in.. he wasn’t ready to unleash that on hollis.
“you gonna hide away the whole time..?” hollis wondered aloud, a tinge of disappointment in his voice.
roman just nodded a bit, the motion barely noticeable on the camera. hollis couldn’t help but laugh, eliciting a small chuckle from the latter. “no, really romi, i wanna see you,” he complained softly. not dangerously desperate yet still longing enough for roman to feel it in his abdomen.
he groaned softly, feigning casualty at the way hollis whined at him. “i look rough.”
“i don’t care.” hollis was quick to assure him.
roman cracked, finally smiling at the boy’s obvious flirting. “just let me see.” hollis begged again when the camera failed to move.
“what will you do for me?” roman queried, voice way too soft for a question with such connotation.
hollis smirked, staring at the boy’s screen for a moment too long as he pretended to think. “anything you want.” typical.
roman’s lip returned between his lips, biting ever so slightly harder this time. then finally, gradually, the phone moved. the camera slowly panned off of his hair and began backing up, traveling to reveal his entire face. “happy now?” roman teased. a pleased smirk creeping at the corners of his mouth.
“yeah..” hollis breathed out, slow and careful as he placed a hand behind his head.
the brunette couldn’t maintain his composure, reducing himself to a flustered mess of giggles. “don’t do that.”
“do what?” hollis quirked a brow at him through the screen, tongue swiping over his lips in a swift motion.
roman bit his lip to quiet himself, not wanting to draw attention to himself or his bedroom. “your fuckboy poses..”
“i’m not doing anything,” hollis shrugged. roman just rolled his eyes. “don’t be coy, hollis.”
“wow. hollis?” the boy choked out a chuckle of feigned offense. “what happened to holli?”
“holli’s a sweet boy.. you’re hollis now.. hollis the horndog.” roman persisted.
hollis laughed immediately. “really?” he licked his lips again.
god, roman hated him so bad right now. “yeah..” he breathed out, the shift in his tone evident that he wasn’t exactly innocent in that moment either.
“well, you can’t look at me like that and expect me not to..” hollis attempted to defend himself.
roman wanted to resist him so badly. but it was just so hard. “can you come over right now?” he spat it out like the words were on fire and he couldn’t hold it in his mouth any longer.
“right now?” hollis’ eyes widened slightly. he hadn’t expected that request. not at this time. not from roman. he’d never been to his house and he assumed for a reason considering how often he avoided the topic.
roman nodded. there was a certain look in his eyes. “i don’t have your address.” hollis countered. they were both gnawing at their own lips now.
the camera shifted for all of 15 seconds as roman texted him the details. “you do now.”
hollis smiled as the text popped up on the top of his screen. “okay..” he inhaled sharply, immediately sitting up to get a pair of pants on and leave. “park down the street.. and i’ll meet you outside.” the boy instructed as he watched the blonde scramble around his room on his screen.
“okay.. gimme like 15 minutes.” his breathing was partially unsteady, riddled with adrenaline. he was missing roman like a fiend so he was excited to see him and finally be with him in his own space. all their time was always spent in hollis’ room or with hollis’ friends. he was excited to see a glimpse into roman’s world. so to speak.
hollis threw on a zip up sweater, no shirt underneath, buttoning his jeans but forgetting to zip them.
“text me when you’re outside,” roman requested over the phone. hollis just glanced down at the screen with a smile on his face and a gleam in his eyes as he nodded. “i will, don’t worry. i’ll see you soon,” he assured with the click of his front door.
roman smiled to himself, ending the call. he got up from his bed, shoving most of the mess on his floor underneath it. he’d seen hollis’ room in worse states.. but that was thanks to their sleepovers. so he felt this was different. he was worried his room looked like that of a drug dealers. he hid away the remaining of his stock, leaving a singular bag on his desk. hollis knew he did drugs. selling however… was a different story. he was sure a good little boy like holli might have a few opinions and concerns about it that he didn’t feel like addressing.
as he waited, he flipped his pillow in hopes to hide the tear stains on it and changed out of the outfit he’d been slinging drugs in all day. he wore the sweater hollis gave him and a pair of sweatpants. typical.
he neatened his room a bit more before cracking the window by his bed. he often snuck in and out through it. not that he really thought his parents would care.
the boy sat on his bed, looking down at his phone intently. it’d only been 10 minutes. hollis said 15. he wasn’t sure how long that really meant he just knew he was over the moon to see hollis. in his room. he was anxious even. his bedroom was a sacred space, something intimate. a very well kept secret that held his worst moments.
hollis was about to see all of that. all the blood stained clothes that lined the room from either not reaching his father’s quota or just from pissing off angelo. his mother wanted no part in this ‘family business,’ so she stayed out of it completely. including protecting roman. it was sad, yeah. but it was roman’s life. his truth. a truth he’d always been too ashamed to share.
as he zoned out, he didn’t realize the time melting away and he was quickly grounded back to reality when his phone buzzed in his hands.
parked right after the stop sign
roman smiled widely to himself.
the boy jumped up excitedly, opening the window fully and carefully climbing out of it. it was barely off the ground really. fortunately for him. he closed the net behind him and sprinted down the street to meet hollis at the corner. his fingers enthusiastically tapped on the glass of the driver’s side window, smiling brightly as the blonde turned to him, his own lips lifting into a smile.
hollis turned off the car the moment he saw roman. it felt like magic all over again every time they met eyes. especially face to face.
he climbed out of the car and immediately lifted up roman by the waist, arms looping around the small of his back. “i missed you so much.” he whispered, not wasting a single second as he began pressing his lips into the boy’s face and neck.
roman smiled with content, hands traveling up along his arms and to his neck. “i missed you too..” he whispered back, shamelessly. he was just so relieved to be back in hollis’ arms. “i get so cold when you’re away..” he admitted as the taller guided him to lay on his chest, their arms falling to a respective hugging position. roman’s arms circled around his torso, holli’s remaining on his waist. “don’t worry romi..” he assured him in a quaint voice.
roman sounded so sad. it always killed hollis to hear him talk like that. his house was clearly not a home.
the two soon rushed back to the agape window on the side of roman’s house, crawling in the same way roman snuck out. roman pulled him onto the bed so he could shut the window before settling beside him on the mattress. “it’s cozy.” hollis commented, voice careful as he whispered. he knew how quiet they had to be. he picked up on it from their facetime calls. “it’s a room.” roman shrugged in response, leaning his head on hollis’ arm.
hollis smiled, enjoying the close proximity. he was still a bit on edge knowing he had to sneak in but all in all he was just grateful to be alone and with roman again. in private. “it suits you..” hollis whispered.
roman just nodded. he could agree to an extent. it was messy just like him… and hid a lot of secrets. he couldn’t disagree with hollis even if they were agreeing from different sides of the same coin.
he wrapped his arms around hollis’ arm for comfort, letting the boy’s hand find comfort on his leg. he loved being touched by the boy. especially there. it was so comforting. so assuring. so grounding. he needed it more than ever. “hollis..” he whispered softly. his best friend just looked down at him on his shoulder. “you’re my favorite person..”
“you’re mine too, roman..” hollis assured, voice just as gentle and fragile as roman’s. they communicated in a tone of voice that only they understood the gravity of. “i love you holli..” his eyes trailed back up to the blonde boy who just smiled down at him. he didn’t even say anything.
hollis cupped his face with one hand, pulling him up into a deep kiss. they maintained the motion for a moment, heads tilting back and forth as they got into it. then roman’s teeth grazed hollis’ lips. one hand remained on his face as the other grabbed him by the arm and laid him down on the bed, crawling right on top of him.
their legs tangled together, hollis pulling one around his waist as he let roman take the lead. his mouth opened so willingly for him, wanting absolutely everything he gave him in that moment. he didn’t care what. roman’s arms hung loosely around his neck, fingers grappling at his hair and back every now and again. they both just lost themselves to the moment.
eventually, they were both breathless, chests heaving like crazy as their hands traveled to absolutely every inch of body they could on each other. their mouths become one, lips barely closing between each kiss. their tongues did most of the work, covering both their faces in saliva by now.
roman moaned with desire as hollis pulled away for air. his back arched slightly off the mattress. it felt too early to stop. all he wanted was hollis now.
hollis smiled down at the boy beneath him, his hands following the curve of his back. roman giggled softly with something like pleasure and satisfaction. careful not to be too loud.
“are you okay..?” hollis pushed all of his hair to one side, leaning in close to roman’s ear as he whispered to him.
the boy nodded assuredly, gently grabbing at his shoulders to pull him back down. “i’m so perfect right now, holli..”
hollis cracked a smile at the nickname. he sounded so cute whispering it so breathlessly from beneath him.
adrenaline started to rush all throughout roman’s body but especially one specific place and he wasn’t ready to stop. not yet. he pecked holli’s lips before repositioning them so the blonde was underneath him now, his legs straddling his waist now. roman’s hips began rocking, slow and steady to begin. he always did. he was never eager off the bat.. he knew how to ease into it. he knew what got hollis going. his hands traveled to the zipper on the boy’s sweater, slowly pulling it down as hollis’ hands found home on his waist again.
their favorite parts of each other seemed fairly obvious.
roman unzipped the sweater completely, pushing it off his torso to reveal the bare skin underneath. “i like this sweater..” he whispered.
hollis smirked, one of his hands slowly trailing down from his hip to his crotch. he caressed the bulge that had been staring at him for the past five minutes before making eye contact with roman. “you can have it..” he assured, voice just as low as roman’s.
the brunette looked away with a blush on his face, hips never stilling as he eagerly moved upwards against the boy’s hand. “so quick to give me the shirt off your back..” roman teased in a whisper, leaning into his ear as he pressed his hips down to meet hollis.’
hollis felt his breath skip in his chest but he tried to keep his composure. “yeah..” he whispered back. no defense. no argument. he’d let roman crawl under his skin and live there if it was possible and something he asked for.
roman hid his face into the older’s neck, kissing here and there at the skin, reaching a hand over to grab the lonesome bag of cocaine he left on his desk earlier. “i have an idea.. do you trust me?” he whispered seductively as he made his way back up to holli’s ear, nibbling ever so slightly on his earlobe in hopes to better persuade him.
which proved to be a good idea. hollis nodded. he didn’t care what it was. he’d do anything for roman especially in this headspace… all he wanted was to satiate the boy straddling him.
roman smirked as he sat up, one hand caressing hollis’ torso from his chest all the way down to his waist. up and down.. slow at first.. repeating the motion a few times before he stopped at his waistband. he quickly undid the singular button, no assistance needed as hollis just stared curiously and ran a hand through his hair. he was anxious to know where this led. what was his idea?
before he knew it, roman was peeling open a plastic bag, grabbing a house key off his desk and lining up the white powder along the curves of his abs. hollis took a deep breath, his stomach sinking slightly as roman tried to clean up the lines. his abs weren’t too defined but just enough for roman to know where to place his coke.
“stay still..” roman requested in the silence. hollis nodded though he found it hard to comply. he bit his lip instead and tried to hold his breath as to not ruin the neat lines roman was working so hard on. he was riddled with anxiety now, trying to ignor how tight his jeans felt. even unbuckled. roman was doing damage.
once roman got a few good lines laid out, he adjusted himself on holli’s lap, one hand grasping his hip tightly as the other held his hair back. he lowered his head just enough to reach right above his stomach. he let go of his hair now to cover one nostril, snorting the first line in one swift motion.
hollis couldn’t help himself. he moaned. the sight alone was hot but the feeling was even worse as the drug left his body and entered roman’s system. it wasn’t loud but it was undeniably a moan of pleasure. “fuck..” he whimpered out. he’d never been such a mess for roman as much as he was just then. they’d gotten high together but this was something else. he reached his hand out to replace roman’s holding his hair back for him as he continued down his torso, doing line after line until he reach his v-line.
hollis moaned with every motion, unable to control how fucking good he felt. he’d let roman do every possible drug off of him if it always meant feeling this intimate and hot.
roman was too lost in the drug to really notice how badly this was getting to hollis but he knew it was doing something. he was only getting harder underneath him with every line of coke he did. roman felt a certain sense of accomplishment at that. he felt powerful, almost.
when he was done, there was still some residue left on his stomach and trailing onto his vline, so roman leapt at the opportunity of course. he looked up at hollis momentarily. hollis’ eyes were filled with desire and roman’s eyes were wide as ever, pupils already growing bigger from the drugs. he smiled at him before sticking his tongue out and pressing it against his abdomen to clean up every last particle of cocaine from his abs and his v-line.
that’s where shit got heavy… hollis’ breath skipped like never before. he couldn’t remember the last time anyone used their mouth so low on his body. he bit his lip harder to shut himself up, hands tangling into roman’s hair desperately. roman’s hands however quickly found his waistband again, tugging both his jeans and boxers down to hus thighs. he wasted no time, not even bothering to pull them all the way down.
holli’s head bobbled back against the bed frame when roman’s mouth engulfed his tip and slowly but surely began taking him in. he looked experienced but that was the furthest thing from the truth. roman had never done this and he was still quite nervous about doing it for holli but.. the opportunity just seemed so perfect.
roman was quick to drool though. always was. he slobbered on the head of the boy’s dick for a moment or two too long, his tongue numb from the cocaine by now. he could barely feel what he was doing. hence the drooling.
hollis however.. seemed to be transcending. he was fighting himself not to make too much noise but it felt so fucking good. all he wanted to do in that moment was moan and whimper roman’s name like it’d go out of style. which he almost did a few times. his legs fell wider the deeper roman got.
it was gradual. slowly moving further and further each time his head went down. hollis continued to play with his hair to distract himself from making too much noise but it was getting harder and harder.
it didn’t take long for hollis’ legs to start shaking now, roman was partially gagging every time he went down, encouraged by the way hollis was pushing his head down to help him deepthroat. “fuck…” hollis whined through a shaky breath, finding it hard to keep his composure and stay quiet. he was sure they were gonna get caught but then again.. everything felt amplified. everything felt loud. until finally… he unraveled, just in time to spurt all over the boy’s lips and chin.
roman’s breath was heavy as he sat up to catch his breath, his tongue clearing most of the mess on his lips.
the blonde looked down at him between his legs, one hand ruffling his hair a bit before the other wiped his cum off his chin and shoved it into his mouth for roman to lick clean. he blindly abided. he always did. no matter what was asked of him.. if hollis wanted him to, he would. he didn’t do that for anyone else but hollis.
roman’s eyes were slightly teary as he stared up at hollis so endearingly. had this been anyone else.. roman would’ve never done what he just did. not even for a girl had he ever gotten this messy.
“you did amazing.” hollis praised through heavy breaths, pulling him back up onto his lap so he could kiss him comfortably. he knew exactly what he was tasting as their lips met and he didn’t care.
it touched roman’s mouth so he had to have it too. his tongue lingered in his mouth slightly as they kissed deep and rough. his hands soon fell to the boy’s waist again, cradling him by his lower back against his own body. “you taste so perfect..” roman moaned into the kiss, his teeth grazing hollis’ lips purposely. he loved brusing his lips.
hollis smiled into the kiss, their bodies remaining close. it continued to progress and escalate, their hips rocking back and forth with each other as they kept kissing as sloppily and desperately as they could. matching the pace between their hips just the same.
the air was thick with desperation as hollis was determined to get the boy off as well. at some point, he switched him over to his thigh, flexing his leg to make the surface firmer for roman to hump. which he did… shamelessly.
his mess spilled all over holli’s lap.. mostly his boxers but neither of them cared. they were only focused two things… feeling good and feeling close to each other. that was all that mattered and both things were accomplished.
when they finished, roman collapsed on hollis’ chest, fingers tracing small insignificant shapes against the bare skin. hollis followed the same.. his own fingers caressing the small of his back, more in a circular motion. he kept roman close for a long time, holding him on top of him like that and just enjoying the silence as they came down from the high of it all.
all the adrenaline, all the emotions, as well as the drugs. even if none of it entered holli’s system, the atmosphere was drug enough for him.
as they calmed down and their breathing resembled something like normal again, roman broke the silence. still high and still slurring. “i love you.”
“i love you too..” hollis returned, a lot more composed than roman now. he looked down at the boy on his chest, smiling warmly to himself before pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead.
it was something like four or five am by the time they gained consciousness again and sat up in bed to put their clothes back on and exchange a few too many goodbye kisses.
“you should head out,” roman kept reminding him between every peck between his lips and nose and neck. “yeah i should.” hollis would agree but neither of them stopped or pulled away. until they realized how quickly the sun was coming up.
with a heavy heart and even heavier sigh, hollis climbed out the window and ran back to his car. roman watched from the window, his heart fracturing as he watched the car disappear down the road.
he didn’t feel a lick of discomfort whilst hollis was there, hiding in his bedroom with him but the moment he left… everything was cold and dark. he hated it.
hollis was something better than a drug, something truly ethereal. a state of bliss he was sure he’d never reach without an illegal substance.
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