analog girl in a digital word

New single, out now on all streaming platforms!

I went to a local mall recently and it was creepy as hell. the hot topic didn't have half of the clothes it advertises online. I don't look like the models on the websites so I need to try things on. I guess I'm stuck shopping at marshals and target. there are no alternative clothing stores anywhere. on Tuesday I'm going to go see Alcest about an hour away and I heard there's a store near by that's run by an Ebay seller that used to go by the name "dedgothgirl" so it sounds promising. I just want to leave the house. fuck convenience. what else am I wearing clothes for if not to go outside? I love that there are more options online but that shouldn't have to be my only option for shopping. I'm sick of the way things have been imposed on us. I feel powerless in so many ways, but most of them come back to

I was able to make these right before the website went bye bye.

once upon a time, I had a livejournal.

in it I updated my friends about my life; posted pictures, my innermost thoughts, fears and insecurities, participated in communities like "mad rad hair" and "tmi".

I connected with lots of people that way.

the internet felt so small back then, it was mostly for the nerds, alternative people, and the loners. now anybody can participate, including your parents! and the crazy thing about that is, that it (internet communities/social media) feels lonelier than ever.

since instagram first came along, I had not made a single internet friend from it. it was all about likes and not about connection anymore.

I found myself liking threads for this reason....but, there is so much "engagement farming" on it, it's such a turn off. and too many people "rage baiting" or copying each other's "viral" posts. none of this language existed back then. I doubt we could go back to simpler times like those but still I search...

a lot people now don't understand that incredibly niche world that I speak of.

I may be actually be too old to be here on Tumblr after years of not using it. I may never post again after this post. maybe nobody will ever see this. and nobody will ever care.