queen of disaster

Before anyone asks if I’m glad to be back home, I’m not. I had a great time on the road, and having to decorate for Valentine’s Day is probably some kind of punishment for leaving on such short notice. Breadstix is gonna look like a fucking Hallmark store, and I’m not excited. Approach with caution, I’m not in a good mood.

Oof, that sucks. Have fun working in your hallmark card, E. 

Love? High school. You know how it goes, that teenage love. Thinking you’re gonna be together forever, but it doesn’t work out. I haven’t felt anything for anyone since then. 

I don’t have a thought about her. 

Sidekicks were the best! I definitely upgraded immediately and I won’t lie. Mine was bedazzled but like I said I had to prove I deserved it. To get the pink Razr I joined gymnastics. To get the bedazzled Sidekick I became head cheerleader. I really wish they would make a comeback. I love my iPhone but I miss that feel of a physical keyboard on my phone.

Wow, look at you go little rockstar. Shame we didn’t cross paths in high school, I would’ve came out to a football game to see you cheer. 

I’m not a parent but even I know threatening children is only liable to make everything occurring much worse… but also that sounds absolutely terrible.

It was dreadful and a nice reminder as to why I’m never having kids. 

I swear, some people shouldn’t be fucking parents.

Amen. Ain’t that the fucking truth.

Ah, yes, the wrong way to deal with children. Hope your ears recovered.

Luckily I didn’t go deaf, so praise a miracle.

Oh yeah, I totally need a refill. Thanks. I don’t get how such loud noises can come out of such little bodies.

No problem. Neither do I, I wouldn’t be surprised if the kid was heard through the whole building. 

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I don’t know because they literally make ball gags but put one on a kid and suddenly CPS has to get involved or some shit.

Or give them some goodnight juice aka Nyquil to put their asses to sleep. 

…

Yikes, that’s…obnoxious. And…should you be snorting birth control? Does it really have the same effect?

Oh, bowties. No, it was a joke. I don’t actually snort birth control. 

ELENA: so much has gone down in the last like, few days.

ELENA: scar and i are taking a road trip. we shouldn't be gone for long. things are just...fucked. we need some time away.

ELENA: also, she may have asked me to move in with her. and i told her i wanted to, but like, after everything that's happened, i feel like it's too soon. and i feel bad. this is the right thing to do, right? like, i don't want to move in when things are so tense and we've got all these issues.

ELENA: i don't even know.

GINNY: yeah, i don't blame you for taking off. i'd do the same. take a breather, babe.

Sksksksk welp, my Dads never mentioned being haunted by my screams so I think I’m okay LOL Or, maybe they’re just being nice because I’m their son… I don’t know bwaha!!

I don’t think anything could come worse than what I had to hear from that kid. Like, they need to go join a screamo band when they’re older because I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole building heard them. 

This was honestly probably the best Christmas I had in a long time. Got to spend most of it with my boyfriend and a little with my siblings so… beats every year before this one that’s for sure. Now my brain is just going into musical mode so I hope that’s all half of you are ready to hear about from me going forward. If it gets annoying tell me to shut up - that’s fine. I hope everyone had a great holiday and have fun plans to bring in the New Year. I’ll be designated driving if anyone needs a ride anywhere.

That’s good you had a nice Christmas, boo. Get any good gifts this year?