Devoted to destruction

“I need to be alone. I need to ponder my shame and my despair in seclusion; I need the sunshine and the paving stones of the streets without companions, without conversation, face to face with myself, with only the music of my heart for company.”

“I came to understand that I can never forget where I came from. My soul should always look back and wonder at the mountains I had climbed and the rivers I had forged and the challenges which still await down the road. I am strengthened by that knowledge.”

I can't bring myself to love you anymore after all of this. Meaningless apologies, half-hearted texts and late replies. I can't love you like this; picking myself apart and sacrificing my sleep for someone who doesn't even know me. I wish I could stay here, pretend we were okay like we were when you still loved me and caring didn't kill. Like we were when we weren't so different people. Are we strangers now? I don't think you ever knew me. I don't think I know who you are. All I know is, I don't think I know how to love you anymore.

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