Crime Is Fun

*takes a bite of my cigarette*...... heh. the character...... *walks into a small puddle but it swallows me up like the ocean* *i am found dead years later in maine*

Too many rich people buying medieval castles and then renovating the interior to look like a completely normal 21st century house. Sorry but if you're going to live in a castle you need to commit to the bit. If I lived in a castle I would restore it just enough to be barely liveable and pretend I was a poor but prideful nobleman in his crumbling estate, still clinging to the last vestiges of his family's fading name.

I'd commission portraits of generations of completely made-up noble ancestors and then intentionally water-damage some of them to reinforce my "mouldering splendour" motif.

I would invite a woman who looked like one of my portraits over and tell her that it was a portrait of my saintly mother who was taken by consumption 20 years ago.

I’d have a personal eccentric monk from no known religious order skulking about parties, pointing his long, bony finger at random guests and whispering in my ear.

Diversity hire bryson ur absolutely slaying

I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.