Headache.

They need to invent a guy dead on the floor emoji

oh my god I'm doing nothing with my life *runs headfirst into a brick wall*

you just can't mysteriously disappear for a significant length of time only to eventually turn up years later staggering down a highway covered in blood and dirt and muttering to yourself incoherently without ever actually explaining what happened to you during that time you went missing anymore

Yuck it up...... I get it nothing happened... -_- That we know of.

I killed the rat king of New York and inherited his throne by right of conquest or whatever, but I never took the rat oaths so I can speak to and command rats and they are compelled to obey, but they formally elected a rat president last year. I don't have any formal power in their social hierarchy but I have very real concrete magical power over them. I guess the title gets passed to my eldest son unless a rat kills me at some point.

all I use my powers for is making rats salute me when I walk by and they all hate it

can i come over to your place and sit in the corner with dark bags around my eyes and kubrick stare at you while u go about ur day neomal style ?