uhhhhhhhhhh

My friends and I went to see a movie today and got lunch beforehand, so I had a lot of fluids with the meal cause it was a lil salty and it was hot outside. Combined with my water bottle that I’d been drinking from before, it probably totalled to around a litre of water. But it’s ok!! I went to pee before the film, thoroughly enjoyed it, zero problems with my bladder. By the end of it I’d basically finished my water bottle again (after already emptying one time during lunch) so I had a fair amount of fluid in me, but was otherwise ok. My friends and I then go to get bubble tea, and this was the thing that really started to make me need to goooo.

Normally the portions are kinda stingy, so I wasn’t expecting to drink that much. Colour me surprised when the server hands me back basically a fucking pint of liquid which hey, I’m not complaining, that’s good value for money right there.

We end up sitting on a bench for around two hours just chatting about the movie and drinking. I however, have a problem my friends do not have. Firstly, I got my drink quite a bit sooner than them cause I knew what I wanted and ordered first, so I already had a head start on finishing my drink. Secondly, I have a chronic problem with drinking every drink I have super fast. If a drink is put in front of me, it’ll be gone in 15 minutes tops, I cannot do sipping to save my life. So by the time my friends are just starting their drinks - which they will proceed to sip on slowly for the next two hours - I’ve basically already finished mine, and all that liquid has a major head start on getting to my bladder and sitting there for a long long time.

I don't really notice it at first though, I'm sitting enjoying the conversation. Contributing to discussion and laughing when I gradually start to feel a little tingle down below. It’s not bad though, barely noticeable, and I mostly forget about it as we continue to talk.

I don’t forget about it completely though.

Slowly my legs start swinging more and more on the bench, and I find myself subconsciously trying to position myself in such a way that my crotch is pressed against one of the slats of wood, and it dawns on me then of Oh, I really need to pee

Perhaps it was the delusion talking, but I still didn’t think it was that bad. There was a perverted part of my brain picturing me managing to hold on another basically two hours until I got home, but those hopes were swiftly dashed the second I got up and gravity hit my bladder like a sledgehammer. Ok that’s a little dramatic, it was definitely still (somewhat) manageable, but way fuller than I’d ever comfortably be in public normally, especially without a toilet nearby.

Luckily, one of my friends had been saying on and off for a while she needed the toilet and we should go find one, so our next quest was wandering to the nearby McDonald’s and using their loos. Walking though… walking was gradually becoming a challenge for me.

Every step I took seemed to shake my bladder more than the last, and that combined with the long detour we had to take (because we thought there was a shortcut but actually wasn't) made the weight in my bladder more and more heavy, all pressing down on my clenching urethra.

By the time we finally got to there I was mentally frantic. Externally, I was still chatting and laughing with my friends, but internally all my thoughts were dissolving into just pisspisspisspisspiss. Not being able to grab at myself and cross my legs super obviously was making it all so much worse, barely holding on with my fluttering urethra and I just needed to GO

I had a genuine scare though when we walked in. The toilets were trapped upstairs, and the entry was barred by cleaners who’d put tape across them to stop anyone from going to the upper floor while they were there. FUCK-

My friend who needed to go was saying “oh well that’s a shame, guess I’ll walk home and just pee when I get there” which was fine for her cause she only lived five minutes away and clearly didn't need to go that badly, but my back teeth were fucking SWIMMING and I genuinely could not handle the thought of leaving without pissing at this point (and yes there was a toilet at the train station but that still another ten minute walk away and I genuinely don't think my bladder could've handled that without at least being forced to pee dance in front of all my friends, which I simply would not have survived)

Under the guise of wanting to be helpful to my friend I started walking as quickly as I could around the McDonald's and thankfully made eye contact with an open bathroom sign downstairs. Granted, it was a single disabled toilet, but a toilet nonetheless.

However... cause I had not at all voiced needing to piss at this point, I didn't want to dive in there first and leave my friend hanging outside the loos. It wouldn't be very gentlemanly of me, never mind the fact that in their minds, I didn't need to pee at all. I pointed the bathroom out to her, motioned for her to go in, and proceeded to have the longest minute and a half wait in my life.

My other friend was still stood outside with me and clearly didn't need to piss at all, so they kept rambling to me and making small talk and I genuinely just could not absorb any of it. My bladder was so fucking close to relief it was the only thing filling my brain and I think basically every response I gave was just some variation of mmhmm, uhuh, yeah. It got so bad at one point, my bladder clenching down trying to send such intense waves of desperation through me that I was forced to cross my legs right in front of my friend talking to me. Shifting my thighs twisting one way and another, trying to look as nonchalant as possible while my gaze was just locked on that bathroom door. Fuck I needed to piss so fucking badly if I wasn't careful it was gonna come out RIGHT NOW-

My friend finally, fucking finally, opened the bathroom door and I felt like I could breathe again. Relief was so close I just needed to-

My friends started trying to leave the damn McDonald's, thinking that everyone's bladder's were empty, and I had to suffer the embarrassment of saying "oh no I'm gonna pee too" while trying to keep my legs untwisted, my posture straight, my face entirely neutral while my bladder screamed at me. Trying to play it off like I was taking a just-in-case piss before my long trip home, instead of letting on that my bladder was about to burst at the seams. My friends of course didn't care, just shrugged and went back to talking to each other while I frantically slammed the door shut behind me.

PISSPISSPISSPISSPISS

I was so close so so close so close it's there it's right there I just need to take my shorts off and fuck there's a tie why is there always a tie on these things fuck, why is the knot so tight I just need to take these off please please please please please-

I'm pee dancing right in front of the toilet, desperately twisting my thighs as I wrestle with the knot on the front of my shorts, bladder clenching and pulsing as the string cuts into it while I pull it tighter to try and undo the knot and fuck it wants to come out but no it's ok I can hold it-

I manage to get my shorts down just as a tiny spurt escapes me, dampening my boxers and making me start to basically hyperventilate as I stumble the last few steps to the toilet. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck-

I shove my boxers down and slam my ass on the toilet, exploding a thick stream of piss into the bowl as I slump in relief. Trying to hold back my moans as I stare at the small coin sized stain on my boxers, suddenly feeling so embarrassed by the whole situation. Being caught so off guard by my bladder like that was so humbling, even though the whole situation should've been obvious with how much I drank, it just slipped my mind somehow.

The worst part of it all though (besides nearly pee dancing in front of my friends) was when I slid my boxers back on and felt the cool wetness of my leak against my crotch again. All my shame and embarrassment condensed down into that single coin-sized patch, I could feel myself blushing. Tightening the knot back on my shorts, I was A) amazed at how much looser they were that just a minute ago, and B) very careful to make the knot much easier to undo than the last one... ugh...

I haveeee!

the post is on omorashi.org, but Ive been meaning to repost it here, so now is as good a time as any!!

I decided to do a challenge tonight and it was quite the experience lol! Shout out to @Mycall, who made my favourite hold on Milovana. 

While this isn't my first time doing Mycall's challenge, this is the first time I've had what I'd consider a true accident. 

Something that I attribute to my autism, I register my need to pee very suddenly, with a lot of pressure all at once. That's exactly what happened tonight. I was sitting in the living room playing Stardew Valley when my bladder decided to scream at me, and I thought it would be interesting to do an impromptu hold. I was wearing dark, ripped skinny jeans and a black turtleneck tucked into it, and felt very proper in it, but that was certainly about to change. I hopped over to Milovana and started Mycall's challenge. The highest level I could start at was level 1, but I was already feeling like a level 2, as I was crossing my legs in my seat. 

I started level one and did some exercises, jumping jacks, yoga poses, and squats, which made my legs feel incredibly weak. After about 4-6 exercises, I had enough points to move up to level 2. If you've ever played this challenge, you know that in between levels 1 and 2, there's a bonus challenge that involves taking a 15 minute walk. I've never done this challenge because I'm insecure and the social interaction with the people I'm living with to say, "Hey! I'm going for a walk!" is often too much for me XD. But tonight, they were out at a concert, so I decided to brave the cold and head out for a walk. 

My legs ached from the squats, but I made it down the driveway and into the bitter cold. after about 7 minutes, the challenge instructed me to let out a little squirt into my boxers. at this point I was busting to pee, so I happily obliged the challenge and let out a bit into my pants. Cars went by as I peed into my boxers just enough to feel a warm spot of wet, and I felt nervous and a little naughty. After I was done, I made the walk home, my wet underwear clinging to my crotch in such a wonderful way.

The walk home was agonizing. My muscles weren't letting go just yet, but it felt like I was filled to the brim with pee, and if I let go just a little, I'd be far wetter than I already was. I made it home without accident, but the relief of getting to the house was perhaps a little too much for my body to handle. I got inside and threw off my mittens and jacket, pacing back and fourth, unable to keep still. I was too full at this point, and I was ready to explode. I bent over to untie my boots, and the pressure of my skinny jeans against my bladder made me squirt. I raced to get my boots off, and once I did, it was all over. 

My bladder let go onto the doormat. I clutched my crotch to try to stop the flood but there was no use. I could feel the muscles in my bladder trying desperately to stop the flood of pee to no avail. I clambered off of the mat and onto the floor, knowing it would be easier to clean the floor than the mat. My hands still clutching myself, I wet myself on the hardwood floor, soaking my socks, and making big, dark, wet streaks run down inside of my legs. I was stunned, eyes wide and mouth agape in awe of what had just happened. 

I got out of my wet clothes and threw them in the wash, cleaned the floor, and as I'm now sitting in my dry, fuzzy robe and typing this, I'm still reeling. I can't stop thinking "holy fuck I actually pissed myself, like I fully fucking pissed myself, oh my god that's wild." and so on. Safe to say I had a wonderfully wet time tonight. Shout out again to @Mycall, and anyone who actually read all of this!

Desperate more frequently! instead of one long wait it's a constant cycle of urgency. And even once they wet they barely get a moment of relief before the pressure starts building all over again.

If big bladder has the embarrassment of overestimating their bladder, small bladder has the embarrassment of low expectations. Everybody already expects them to need a bathroom break every twenty minutes so as soon as there's a hold up the teasing about the inevitable accidents start.

Slow drip torture. It might be less visible but the leaks are constant. Almost every trip ends somewhat damp and even a single drink can put them right at the edge.

The suddenness. They might not end up leaving a lake but the lack of warning is even more embarrassing in ways and with the sheer frequency you can have multiple mini-accidents in a single outing. Imagine her red faced but saying that at least she feels better now. Only to piss herself again only fifteen minutes later. And she still tries so so hard every time and is so disappointed each time she fails while her friends all eye each other and crack jokes about going grocery shopping with spare pants.

Big bladder gal knows she can't hide an accident so as embarrassing as it is she won't even try. Miss teacup on the other hand keeps double checking if the spot is covered and if it's visible from here and who's seen it so far and and and

In short they have so many opportunities to be teased and comforted and that does so many things for me.

maybe their hands are tied back so they can’t hold themselves but my hands are free for them to use.

they’d have to tell me when they needed me to hold them, tell me for more pressure.

holding their peehole shut for them, feeling my fingers dampen as they let out little leaks, feeling them rut down against my hand in desperation when a strong urge comes, feeling them rut against my hand in pleasure too

-you get interrupted while going somewhere you shouldn't

-in an emergency you use a container smaller than a gallon (which is quite likely if you want one that isn't translucent so you don't look like you're carrying around a gallon of piss)

-you have a shy bladder and someone walks into the public bathroom you're using

Unlike some other bladder sealing curses or methods, it doesn't even offer you the relief of relaxing since you know nothing could come out. No, you don't know how much is in your bladder, you can never know. All you know is that you're bursting. So you have to constantly keep squeezing and using up your strength, holding hard against nothing, if you don't want to be surprised with wet pants once you finally tip past the gallon point.

Not only that, but without knowing whether the seal is lifted, you could go to the bathroom to pee, only to find out you can't yet, and have to leave bursting. Imagine walking out of the bathroom with 3.8 quarts still in your bladder. Now you have to go back to what you were doing, pretend HARD that you don't still have to piss, and make sure you wait an appropriately long time before excusing yourself again, lest anyone becomes suspicious.

Almost full, youve been leaking for hours and you’re standing in the bathroom, legs twisted up, holding yours self bent over, hoping youll pee soon. Staring at the toilet, wanting nothing more than to sit down and spray the inside of the bowl with your heavy bladder..

Maybe you even try sitting down, squirming around hoping anything will come out. Bouncing and trying so hard to pee but nothing is coming out. Yoire just stuck with your bladder straining, taught and sloshing with each bounce.