Art

My mum also has hearing issues as she's deaf in one ear after getting an untreated ear infection while pregnant with me. So I have to stand or sit on the correct side for her to hear me properly but I don't remember which ear it is.

Now I'm going to have a nice afternoon with a piece of still warm blondies and stuff along with a green tea

On that line of thought, since I have been thinking a lot about it with all the bathroom renovations, my dad's shitty DIY. I don't know if I've talked about this before but I don't really care enough to check. The best example of my dad's DIY is my bedroom since, as mentioned above, it was converted from a cupboard that held a computer to a bedroom. He achieved this by extending the wall and floor into my brother's room and over the stairs. I can tell as part of the old wall still exists and is the reason my bed is surrounded by three and a fraction walls. The issue comes from the second part of this small section which is a half wall and could function as a tiny side table, especially since I can't fit one as my door is right next to where I put my head in bed, but it's below my mattress and therefore knocks everything off it. The second issue with my room is that my bed is built into the wall. That would be fine if it wasn't for the fact that it's higher than a normal bed but lower than a loft bed. I've been literally climbing up into my bed for over a decade and that's without counting the amount of time I had a little custom made ladder my dad made. I've been sleeping in the exact same bed since I was old enough to not need a crib. It's basically a giant shelf with a mattress on it as it's just slabs of painted wood screwed together. Plus, I can't even have a bigger bed if I wanted too due to the wall section and the fact that my room is tiny. It's split into three sections: bed (takes up about a third of the room), floor space in the middle due to the door (plus so I can walk to my window), and finally my shelves and wardrobe that take up the last third. I only have two plugs to power everything in my room, plugs I only have because my dad decided to wire up more outlets around the house by himself. The electrician that came recently told us that there's a break in the circuit and we don't know which outlet is the cause as there are many options. The fact we haven't had an electrical fire is a miracle. One last rant about my room, not involving my dad's DIY is the fact I have to have my door open at night due to the fact that in the summer, it heats up very easily and my door won't stay closed when my window's open and I need it to be open in the winter and colder months as I don't have a radiator meaning it gets very cold. Plus I keep getting mold on my walls and ceiling. The walls are easy to treat by removing anything near them and spraying with bleach but my ceiling is stubborn and it keeps coming back no matter what we do. Thinking about it, it might be why I always had a cough as a kid.

Moving on, another DIY that my mum is trying to remove from the house is my dad's tiling as it has no pattern in some places and a pattern in others. I hate it. The next three are gone with them being a one cinder block tall wall in the front garden (we have no idea why he even built it, just that it was filled with ants when we got rid of it), the coffin (it was originally a wooden flower box but he surrounded it with cinder blocks and cement to prevent rotting or something. It was ugly which is why it was called the coffin) and finally the gate in the back garden that was rotting.

I think the reason this is all affecting me so much despite being something so simple and relatively irrelevant or unimportant, but it's a reminder of who I once was. A little girl that loved penguins and had a bed covered in stuffed animals. Now, while some things such as the stuffed animals are the same with there just being less of them now, many things have changed. I've realised I'm trans, my interests have changed. I'm now 18, not 8, and I'm preparing to go to university and to study history. When I was a kid, I thought I was going to be a farmer. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's strange seeing how much I've changed. With it having been my 18th birthday last week, I've seen so many pictures of myself when I was a toddler and little kid. I use to have long blond hair and now it's naturally brown but dyed black along with it being short. Looking at pictures of myself, I've realised I haven't girly or wanting to dress fem in years, years before I realised that I'm trans. While I may not be out irl, this week has just been a reminder of how much I've naturally changed.

I've finally gotten the vinyl and I'm so excited to listen to it but I just need to point something out. I've put together the blasters (I got Fun Ghoul and Jet Star's) and I noticed something about Jet's.

Anyway, I only bring this up as I MUST show you guys my birthday cake.