About me-

25

I’ve had an eating disorder for most of my childhood and adult life. This is like my diary to get my feelings out and to keep track of my progress✨

Minors or Ageless DNI💖

Hw- 198lbs

Lw- ???

Cw- 140.8lbs

Goals and Rewards

-170lbs = New Kindle book!✅

- 165lbs = Three new nail polishes!✅

- 160lbs= Special self care day! ✅

- 155lbs= New dress✅

-150lbs= New Clothes! ✅

-145lbs= ???✅

-140lbs=Nail polish order!✅

-l35lbs=???✅

-130lbs=???✅

-125lbs= UGW✅

I’ve been going back and fourth about things. I really want to lose the weight but starving isn’t really working anymore?? Like no matter what I’ve done for the past like two months nothing has worked.

That, and my girlfriend is super worried about me and wants me to recover.

Today I visited a weight loss doctor. It was an appointment that I’ve had for over a year and it went really well. She gave me a bunch of advice on what foods to eat and how much I should eat off of my height and weight and goals.

But that means, I have to actually eat more and do the things she’ll tell me because of the body scan she can see the progress in my fat and muscles, which is VERY SCARY.

But I’m also panicking since I have no idea how I’m supposed to do the things she’s asking me.

Like she wants me to eat 1100 cals or less a day, but also have 120 grams of protein or more a day and I think it’s just stressing me out if it’s really doable or not and if I could succeed.

Good news is I got out on a medication to help curb my apatite and boredom eating and help me sleep at night since both of those things were a concern. I can also lose 22 lbs of fat which would put me a little under my UGW which is great too.

Also my muscles look fine too so I don’t think I really lost any, but she wants me to gain 6lbs of muscle, which is why she wants me to have so much protein.