kim

hello everyone! ❤︎

my name's kim (she/her), i'm 25 y/o, living in germany and love to yap about my silly military men being totally in love, also known as ghoap. i've been writing fanfiction for over 10 years now and have been trapped in ghoap hell since the end of 2022. however, i do know cod since 2009 thanks to my big brother x).

besides rambling about ghoap, i also love gaming in general, cats and reading books x).

i've been working on my long wip since june 2024 and will hopefully finish it soon enough, so i can share it on my AO3 account! on that note: here are my current ghoap themed stories on ao3!

Dying Is No Option (heavy angst, beware of tags, WIP): ao3 Cold Nights - Warm Hearts (light angst, soft moments): ao3 I Will Be Watching for Your Enemies (mcd, post mw3): ao3 Fallen Mercenary (angels au, heavy angst, haven't updated this one since november 2023): ao3

i'm a heavy angst enjoyer, but will always deliver comfort and happy endings, no matter what! (except for that one instance with the post mw3 one shot) i absolutely thrive on angsty situations and love to include heavy and dark themes into my stories, however i will always tag them accordingly.

if i'm not around here, i'm probably busy with work or am doomscrolling to escape life, lol. my blusky is rather dusted in, but maybe i'll get myself to actually use it again.

Chapter Three: and when it rains it fucking pours

Rating: E

Chapter: 3/20

Chapter length: 10,751

cw for the entire fanfic: abduction, abuse (all kinds), non-con elements: past, referenced, on screen (not between ghoap), torture

anything else should be listed on ao3!

summary:

It had been four months since Soap had last heard or seen Ghost. Seventeen weeks of begging and praying that he was still alive and breathing. One hundred twenty-one days of living without being alive, of carrying guilt that was eating him alive.

Soap couldn't remember the last time he had caught some sleep without being woken up by terrors and nightmares. He had lost everything the day Makarov decided to take away the person Soap cared for the most. He lost count of how many times he had wished to be in Ghost's place instead. As he drowned in memories of the past, Soap's illusion of the perfect soldier life was crumbling down right in front of him, being on mandatory leave whilst his team tried everything to track down Ghost's position in the hope of bringing him back alive. No one knew whether he was still alive in captivity or had long since died. Soap felt his team was losing hope.

But giving up was no option for Soap, because giving up on Ghost meant giving up on what they had and leaving him to die. And dying was no option. Little did he know that bringing Ghost home wouldn't mark the end of their nightmare, but only the beginning of its aftermath.

ao3 link

Chapter Two: the sun don't shine, but it never did

Rating: E

Chapter: 2/20

Chapter length: 13,519

cw for the entire fanfic: abduction, abuse (all kinds), non-con elements: past, referenced, on screen (not between ghoap), torture

anything else should be listed on ao3!

summary:

It had been four months since Soap had last heard or seen Ghost. Seventeen weeks of begging and praying that he was still alive and breathing. One hundred twenty-one days of living without being alive, of carrying guilt that was eating him alive.

Soap couldn't remember the last time he had caught some sleep without being woken up by terrors and nightmares. He had lost everything the day Makarov decided to take away the person Soap cared for the most. He lost count of how many times he had wished to be in Ghost's place instead. As he drowned in memories of the past, Soap's illusion of the perfect soldier life was crumbling down right in front of him, being on mandatory leave whilst his team tried everything to track down Ghost's position in the hope of bringing him back alive. No one knew whether he was still alive in captivity or had long since died. Soap felt his team was losing hope.

But giving up was no option for Soap, because giving up on Ghost meant giving up on what they had and leaving him to die. And dying was no option. Little did he know that bringing Ghost home wouldn't mark the end of their nightmare, but only the beginning of its aftermath.

ao3 link

a/n: hope y'all had some great days and are ready for more heavy angst during this wild ride! don't forget to leave a kudo/comment if you feel like it, would make me super happy!

Chapter One: it's getting darker but i'll carry on

Rating: E

Chapter: 1/20

Chapter length: 11,639

cw for the entire fanfic: abduction, abuse (all kinds), non-con elements: past, referenced, on screen (not between ghoap), torture

anything else should be listed on ao3!

summary:

It had been four months since Soap had last heard or seen Ghost. Seventeen weeks of begging and praying that he was still alive and breathing. One hundred twenty-one days of living without being alive, of carrying guilt that was eating him alive.

Soap couldn't remember the last time he had caught some sleep without being woken up by terrors and nightmares. He had lost everything the day Makarov decided to take away the person Soap cared for the most. He lost count of how many times he had wished to be in Ghost's place instead. As he drowned in memories of the past, Soap's illusion of the perfect soldier life was crumbling down right in front of him, being on mandatory leave whilst his team tried everything to track down Ghost's position in the hope of bringing him back alive. No one knew whether he was still alive in captivity or had long since died. Soap felt his team was losing hope.

But giving up was no option for Soap, because giving up on Ghost meant giving up on what they had and leaving him to die. And dying was no option. Little did he know that bringing Ghost home wouldn't mark the end of their nightmare, but only the beginning of its aftermath.

ao3 link

a/n: finally posting the first chapter of my huge ghoap fanfic, given the time of the mw4 trailer dropping just yesterday, lol. hope y'all are ready for some heavy angst with eventual happy ending and lots of healing and recovering from trauma ❤︎⁠

besides the fact this game will not exist in my mind because fuck you activision

i keep thinking about what could be ghost's reason to question price's decisions and if he will try to somehow stop price from continuing to be an outlaw. it makes zero sense in my mind why, out of everyone, GHOST would be against price's revenge arc. only thing i could think of is ghost being pissed because price is doing everything on his own without letting ghost and gaz join him. all of them lost soap that day, but having price being the outlaw all by himself just feels... odd

but then again we've been known activision don't know how to write a consistent story with no loop holes...

or just fanfiction fans in general, both works!

because i am beyond curious to know: do y'all love to read wips or would you rather wait for the whole fanfiction to be fully uploaded?

do you read wips, if the total numbers of chapters are already stated on ao3?

what do you love about wips? if not: what don't you love/what's the reason why you're not reading wips?

me personally, i refuse to upload my current wip before i'm fully done or like in the middle in the last chapter, because i fear the writer's block too much and don't want people to wait for too long. i love to have a strict upload schedule and i can't have that before i know how many chapters there will be in total.

however, my very first long fanfiction was a wip while i was uploading it and i LOVED to read comments, to read theories or even ideas that i was able to include in later chapters. i loved the interaction with the readers, but i also understand if people don't want to invest into a long fic that gets abandonment later on.

however, i'm currently working on chapter 16 of my fic, am now sitting at roughly above 200k words and i'd say i'm like 85% done with the story and its ITCHING beneath my skin to know i could just start uploading, but i never know if work hits too much and then i won't write for WEEKS while still uploading the chapters and eventually will be at the most current chapter which wouldn't be done then.