you crazy ass cosmonaut

remember when nico told jason "yeah i had a crush on percy back then, but i was young and impressionable, i already got over it"? brother in christ you're still, like, thirteen, why are you talking about your elementary school crush like he's your ex-wife whose betrayal made you vow to never love again

still fuckin hate that “bee-free honey” that’s made from……… apples. bitch who you think sexed up those apples

A farmer, by hand and with love and care

wild bees still sexin em up when he’s not looking

old mccuckhold had a farm it seems

its so much and its dishonest work

employment

literally feels like a myth that there are people who don't struggle with basic tasks like getting out of bed or going to the shops or seeing a friend for coffee. how does everything not feel like a painstaking chore for them. how do they have the physical and emotional energy every single day

anybody else going through life feeling like a dog that wasn't socialized enough as a puppy

I could be your ibuprofriend :).....or your advillain >:)

fuck indeed fuck ziprecruiter I want to be paid $1000/hr to sort skittles by color

"pasta only fills you up with empty calories" have you considered that it also fills me with love

love and warmth and happiness and most importantly pasta

People who switch pronouns in songs to no-homo the situation are so funny. The idea literally never even occurred to me as a kid. Couldn’t be me. I am a woman scorned. I am a man who had his heart broken. I am a guy who hates his hometown. I’m a country boy, I’m a city girl. I’m a slut. I’m addicted to cocaine. It’s a song, man.