remember why you started

The exhibition is a rolling projection, lasting around 35 minutes. You can walk in at any time and wait until it repeats itself or just stay for as long as you’d like. I’ll be discussing the experience from a ‘start’ and ‘end’ to the projection but this might not be the point you walk in at.

The exhibition starts by taking us through a journey, quotes from van Gogh structure our way through. ‘What would life be if we had no courage to do anything’ frames the walls. On the main wall, a portrait of a young van Gogh looks over us, whilst the other three walls are filled with his sketches, his handwriting scrawls his letters down from the ceiling and across the floor. We see initial sketches of famous paintings and a glimpse of the tree from Starry Night. This is a great beginning to the exhibition as we are looking at the man himself, and the unfinished, most personal aspects of his artistic process as well as his most sincere thoughts and feelings from his letters. It feels like this opening emphasises that we are here to experience not only his artwork but Vincent himself.

The walls transition now into portraits. ‘I’ll pick up my pencil that I put down in my great discouragement and I’ll get back to drawing’. Now his sketches are coming to life as if he is drawing them straight onto the walls. These sketches are overlooked by his self-portraits on the main wall, as they blossom into the next, he ages and his colouring changes. Frames now appear on the walls with moving images; people, plants, boats, blossoms, trees, windmills and waves all moving slightly. The exhibition emphasises the uniqueness and individuality of his brushstrokes and the movement that he creates in his paintings. Seeing them move and transform allows the audience to see the paintings in a way that can never be experienced in a gallery with the real painting. ‘I dream of painting, then I paint my dream’ A rather fitting quote, as the paintings themselves are presented in such a dreamlike manner in the exhibition, and the audience can feel so connected to them, in a way rarely experienced when seeing paintings through a screen, or even in real life. I do believe the exhibition is better experienced by those who have seen some of the paintings in galleries before, as it not only unites your feelings and previous experience with the actual paintings with this new presentation but also emotes a new understanding of them.

The paintings in frames transform into portraits. Interestingly, we see them morph not only into other paintings but many of them morph into other portraits of the same people. Well-known characters such as the Postman appear and we can watch how not only the characters develop through the different portraits but also how Van Gogh’s style does too. Like the baby, who morphs through infancy to being a toddler and young bo, his style and colour evolve which truly makes this an immersive experience. It is rare that so many of his paintings of similar or identical subject matter are displayed together in order for the audience to truly compare them, but here in this exhibition the audience can truly compare and see small differences between such paintings. All whilst, Van Gogh is projected centre stage, morphing through his self-portraits, almost looking down at the audience and his work. Not only are the paintings changing in the frames, but they switch to other collections of like paintings, so you can sit in your deck chair and look wherever you’d like as each frame does show all the different portraits one after another just in a different order, so you are not constantly turning to try and see everything.

Next, the exhibition takes a turn, Almond Blossom fills each frame and then spread across the walls until the frames disappear. The illusion of the moving gallery is now over, and the audience is now immersed in the painting. Once the walls are completely taken over the painting truly comes to life, petals fall around projected onto the arches, the floor, the empty deck chairs and our laps. It is at times hard to remember that this is a projection. The walls fade into fields and we see carts moving, swallows are circling us at the tops of the church walls. A horse pulls a cart along the far lanes of the painting around the entire room. It feels like the hay is blowing through the air, despite it only being projected onto the floor. Your mind truly fills the gaps between this projection and what it must feel like to have been there, while he was painting. It is a wholly sensory experience where they give us the visual and small auditory clues and the brain fills in the rest of the story until you have the entire picture. ‘I know for sure that I have an instinct for colour and that it will come to me more and more, that painting is in the very marrow of my bones’ the audible and visual quotes guide us, as if Vincent himself is taking us by the hand.

The exhibition is truly a delight for fans of Van Gogh, especially when you see elements of recognisable or favourite paintings begin to show through others. The arches and architecture of the church only enhance the experience, in some cases, they fade into the background and others they become part of it. Starry Night envelops the room, the lights flicker on in the houses as the sky gets darker. The large tree is curved around the base of one of the large arches, making it three-dimensional. The experience is truly immersive as the audience becomes part of the painting, not only is the movement of Van Gogh’s brush strokes animated across the walls but the stars spin projected onto the floor so that it feels more like you are in the painting itself than seeing it as in a gallery.  This section of the exhibition, where the room becomes the painting is certainly the most incredible part. It is where the projection can shine as an incredible, mesmerising and worthwhile experience rather than just a showing of paintings that aren’t there.

The room is then enveloped in golden, heartwarming yellow that engulfs the walls like fire as the image transitions to Starry Night Over The Rhône. This is one of the most ‘immersive’ parts of the exhibition as while some boats sway, one sails the perimeter of the room. ‘I often think that the night is more alive and more richly coloured than the day’, that it certainly is in this exhibition. Where you can almost feel the evening breeze on your skin, and a church becomes cold water and night sky without you even remembering where you are.

Unfortunately, the worst section of the exhibition follows. In the most intense and unnecessary use of creative freedom I’ve witnessed in any exhibition in homage to an artist, Van Gogh’s struggles with his mental health are expressed by a mannequin-esque statued form being circled and chained by paintings. The exhibition would as a whole, been much stronger and much better off without this scene. Thankfully, this weird experience ends with rain, and transitions into more sombre, grey and more industrial paintings, with music that sets this tone. ‘Sadness will last forever’. The experience ‘ends’ as we, the audience, sit in the fields with crows circling above us. Leaving the audience in a forlorn atmosphere that allows us to truly reflect on his art, his life, his experience and also, the exhibition itself

I’d highly recommend this exhibition to those who perhaps feel like they’re missing the hype when it comes to viewing art, and especially for art fans who have friends who ‘just don’t get’ your interest in art. Instead of taking them to galleries and trying to explain your love for art, take them to this exhibition and let them step into the painting as an enveloping encounter with what is normally scores of paint behind some glass.

Despite my distaste for the short statue section, I truly believe this to be one of the best Van Gogh exhibitions that I have been to, and especially the best in the projection genre. The gallery section where portraits morph into other portraits is significant and of interest, as I believe it brings to light his tendency to painting the same people more than once, as these multiples are often split between galleries and across the globe. I do wish that more of the exhibition was in the format of the whole room being enveloped in one painting, as it is the most emotive and impressive element of the exhibition. I wholeheartedly recommend it as a must-see exhibition.

Written for York Vision, a student newspaper at the University of York

Selling Your Student Experience

Most university students deal with the same two issues when it comes to figuring out what you want to do when you graduate. First, what job do you want, in what sector, in what city, in what role. Second, how you’re even going to get that job. I found student societies incredibly formative in this process; this article outlines why this is the case and how to utilise societies to find out your interests and to apply for graduate jobs.

Finding what you’re interested in

The best thing about societies is that there is something for everyone! You can continue activities you did in school like football, debating or orchestra or you can try something you’ve never heard of or done before like swing dance, Model United Nations or student cinema.

Societies are the perfect place to try new things and develop interests. If you have an idea as to what sector you want to work in, you can pursue that through relevant student societies. There are groups with entrepreneur grants or student think tanks or even opportunities to volunteer as a teaching assistant. Even if you don’t have a clue what to pursue, societies can still help you figure it out, by allowing you to try out different sectors like media, politics, or charity within your university you can see if this is what you want to do after graduation.  Importantly, this isn’t limited to societies that are career-focused, the skills you gain from your sports team, or writing club, or pantomime group can make you a more appealing applicant for jobs as well as allow you to find new passions and interests.

When I started my degree I was focused on a future law conversion course and pursuing a legal career. However, because of my involvement with societies, I discovered that I thoroughly enjoy writing for student publications and am considering journalism as a possible career choice due to my participation in different student publications. I was able to not only write for student newspapers but also take on an editorial role. I discovered that media wasn’t all about serious news and political discussion but could enable creativity and discuss issues that were more interesting to me like sex and relationships and books. My commitment to Model United Nations has significantly developed my interests in foreign policy and diplomacy so much so that my dissertation follows this theme and I am planning on studying International Relations for a Master’s Degree. What you can discover through your extra-curricular activities can be just as valuable as the content of your degree, if not more so, as it is based purely on your interests.

How societies will help you get a job

A major obstacle to getting the job you want is not having previous experience, how can you get a job after uni if you need to have years of experience behind you to even get through the door? A little known secret is that you just have to sell your skills right. During your time at university, you have learnt new skills, and grown as a person just because you did this on your campus in a society doesn’t mean it has less value than those who’ve learnt it elsewhere. A mistake university students tend to make is underselling their assets; your week-long work placement may seem the strongest attribute on your CV but that doesn’t mean that your university experience, especially the elements we see as ‘the fun bits’ aren’t valuable too. Make sure you include your participation as a member of activities and certainly as a committee member on your CV. If you took on a committee role in your society you may have learnt administrative skills like organising trips or events as social secretary, or demonstrated excellent written command in weekly emails as secretary, you might have exercised strong leadership as president or excellent recruitment skills as brand ambassador or recruitment officer, or reached out to interesting guest speakers as campaigns and speakers officer, the list truly goes on.

Model United Nations

As a fresher, I vaguely knew what the United Nations was, but didn’t have a clue about Model United Nations. I went to the first session and was horrified to find out that every week these people gathered together to simulate the UN through debating foreign policy as a representative of a country. Public speaking to me was more a daunting compulsory presentation to be forced into, not a hobby. Somehow, I stuck to it, returning every Wednesday to face my fear, taking only three weeks to actually get up and speak. By the end of my first term, I went to my first conference in Germany to do it competitively and managed to spend a whole weekend speaking in a room of almost 100 people, in one of the largest MUN committees I’ve been a part of. I still dislike group presentations, but I’m able to public speak to my heart’s desire, confidently and (if I must say so myself) at a high standard.

Developing my public speaking has certainly helped me in interviews but more importantly, it has also increased my confidence to apply for more opportunities, attend networking events and utilise them as well as widen my horizons to benefit my future. Graduate schemes appreciate the skills that MUN nurtures; leadership, organisation, and communication are all vital elements to the perfect candidate for a job, and the best way to learn these is through activities and societies. Employees think that MUN is very impressive, which it is! It not only gives you a long list of skills, but also a strong awareness of global issues. You can use your experience and skills from societies in applications, if a job requires event planning or organisational skills, you can back up your abilities with conference organisation, or duties from a committee role. If you can successfully get the delegate for Saudi Arabia to sign your women’s rights resolution then you can probably handle team meetings! My participation in student societies has certainly been the cause of the majority of my personal growth, my belief in myself and my confidence that I will achieve the goals I set for myself, and I urge any university student to get involved!

Written for The Zig Zag, a career advice platform run by Women In Foreign Policy (WIFP) focussing on the experiences of womxn in the foreign policy sector.

To say that this book is addictive is an understatement. It’s a warm, witty and comfortable read that allowed me to lose an entire afternoon under my duvet as I tore through it, cover to cover.

Dolly Alderton, through her writing, becomes the knowledgeable big sister of every reader. She has a lifetime of experience to advise with. Made up of lessons learnt from drunken mistakes that cost a £200 taxi ride to a party across the country, to true self reflection learnt from hours of therapy. We readers grow with her, from teenage misconceptions to adult breakthroughs on the edge of thirty. This book is thoroughly heart-warming and hilarious.

The stigma around mental health and addiction is broken within her writing. Dolly (I feel like we should be on a first name basis) details the psyche behind the link between disordered eating and a sense of a lack of control in her youth. As well as her unhealthy relationship with drinking and  the general ups and downs of mental health. She allows herself to be vulnerable to the reader, in order to teach us. From her, we can learn to self-reflect and grow as people.

We learn about death and loss, and how they are intrinsically linked with love. We have to come to terms with how our expectations do not often line up with reality, especially those we make up as teens or in our early twenties.

Personally, as a 20-year-old student, I found the time progression of this memoir of special significance. I found myself relating to the most embarrassing and juvenile tales of teenage Dolly, despite our age gap. I could look back on my own MSN messenger days and childish misconceptions about love and sex and their importance. But as the book went on Dolly grew older than me, dealt with more ‘adult’ issues than I have and developed throughout and past the decade that I have only just stepped into. This, I thoroughly enjoyed.

The primary lessons I drew from this book were first, that it takes time, effort and serious work for breakthroughs with your mental health. That getting to the point where you truly believe that you are enough is a tiring uphill journey, but entirely worth it. Second, that love is not just red roses and diamond rings. Love is friendship and trust. Dolly truly writes of how friendships, especially female friendships, have magic in them. I hope that readers of Everything I Know About Love can truly understand the value and significance of their friends and see them, in a way, as some of the great loves of their lives.

On reflection, I do wish Dolly had addressed how love from family members can be just as important and impactful as both platonic and romantic love, but there is always want for things unmentioned in a book. Especially writings reliant so heavily on the author’s personal experiences.

The ending of this modern guide to love is of great importance because it isn’t concluded by Dolly married with 2.5 kids in the suburbs, as some sort of ultimate goal of true love. She is single and newly thirty but most importantly surrounded by love as well as happier and more optimistic for the endless years to come.

Hey scrunchies! We’re almost at 700 followers omg how crazy is that!!!

Ok but can someone please yell at me to study french I’d appreciate it a LOT.

Rewriting index from my psychology textbook and watching czech series

Here’s my weekly planner printable from my instagram, in 3 colours :-)

Links to download:

blue version

pink version

black version

My other printables:

Assignment Tracker

To Do Lists: first version, second version, third version

Weekly To Do: first version, second version

Daily Schedule Planner

Printable tag on my blog