What do you do when another person says something weird? Do you address the situation for what it is? Or do you assume that they meant well and shrug it off?
Every time anybody who is not black (because it’s not just white people who do this it can be anybody) says something harmless but kinda weird like “I’m tanning so much this summer I’m almost as dark as you!” or when your friend who isn’t black says the “N” word in a funny way to the group and you’re just standing there thinking it over like “He isn’t supposed to say that but everybody is laughing... I don’t want to ruin a good day with drama but should I call them out or be more angry?” It’s like you really want to say something but you shove your feelings down and put this face on that hides everything you’re thinking, how you feel. You SINK. You stay silent and act like it never happened. You can’t speak out or make a move or they’ll know you’re not the same. So you let it take over. “Haha! Yeaah!...”
Chris sank in the movie more times than in that office chair that night across from Rose’s mom. He sank when he laughed at Rose’s dad’s joke about “One deer down, that’s a good thing!” when he really thought it was weird. He sank at the dinner table when he let everyone else run the conversation and almost let the brother choke him out. He sank at the party when he let people examine his arm and ask him to demonstrate his golf stroke, and He sank EVERY SINGLE TIME he tried to explain to Rose what was happening and just let her be right! He just let her be right! ...The scary part of the movie was that all of these parts felt like normal occurrences.
The sunken place is real. A lot of black people feel that they have to suppress their feelings just to keep a conversation going with their white friends or colleagues.
People who are White, I know there are also those instances where you also feel as though you suppress your “whiteness” when around your black friends or colleagues, but this is not going to the sunken place. When you do this you’re just trying to relate, you’re not suppressing your background and feelings for the other person’s sake. For example, “If I talk about this they’ll think I’m uncool” vs. “If I talk about this they’ll think I’m Ghetto and uneducated” You’re doing it to gain, Blacks do it to assimilate.
People who are black, love yourself for who you are! It’s okay to be who you are, you don’t have to be like anybody but yourself. If you feel uncomfortable with something, let somebody know. First step back and understand WHY you feel uncomfortable then calmly explain so the other person understands too.
Now get outta here and find yourself!Â
