It's The Gettin By That'll Get Us All Down

Laufey - Bewitched

Tiny Microphone - Other Cities

Earl Sweatshirt and The Alchemist - Voir Dire

Olivia Rodrigo - Guts

Caroline Polachek - Desire, I Want To Turn Into You

Zach Bryan - Self-Titled

boygenius - the record

Becky G - Esquinas

JPEGmafia and Danny Brown - Scaring the Hoes

Jason,

Did a daytrip in and out of Sacramento for the Round of 64 to catch UCLA and Arizona. Left the house at 330am and returned at 4am the next day. Arizona blew their game to Princeton. Fucking embarrassing. 15 over a 2. I was sitting in the Princeton section. I sat next to an old alum and was chatting with him. The old guy was just happy to be there. I told him that I thought Princeton would keep it close. He was just hoping they wouldn't get blown out by Arizona. Their last big tournament moment had to be beating UCLA in 1996 when UCLA was the defending champ. Life is circular, man.

At halftime I knew Arizona was in trouble. Arizona never imposed their will. Princeton wanted it more. All the typical cliches. You would've been amused. But yeah, Arizona seriously shit the bed. It's like they didn't know how to adjust to a team sending doubles at Tubelis everytime he touched the ball. They ran so much pick and roll when I think they really should've just gone ISO the whole time. You have better athletes at every position. Just ISO and go to work and stop fucking around. Kriisa did Kriisa things. That dude seriously can singlehandedly win and lose you games. It's not a surprise why opposing teams like when he starts. You would've enjoyed that game. I didn't so much. Rough game to be at. Even the usher was razzing me as I left the arena. He was like "oh, you mad huh" and I just kind of looked at him and his coworker buddies. I didn't say anything and just walked away.

While waiting for the UCLA game I went back to the car and drank the booze I had brought. Oh, on the walk over to the Arizona game from the garage, I was talking with a couple who drove 12 hours from Phoenix to be at the game. So, i can't really complain only having driven 6.5. Perspective. At least UCLA handled business.

UCLA dominated UNC Asheville. I think even you would've been impressed. They were firing on all cylinders for a change. Defense and offense were clicking in tandem. Obviously, the opponent has a lot do with that, but the stifling defense absolutely shut them down. The gameplan was good. Bona didn't go, which was fine for the First Round.

The UCLA crowd was good.

The Round of 32 game was tonight against Northwestern. They've essentially got two dudes--Audige and Buie. It looked like UCLA was going to cakewalk to the Sweet 16 in the first half. They were up ten at half. They definitely had left some points on the board though. Buie and Audige were flaccid against the first half defense. The defensive gameplan that first half was A+ stuff.

Second half was another story. Audige got going and scored like 18 points or something. UCLA defenders kept letting him go right and took forever to adjust. They finally got to sitting on his fucking right hand. I was yelling at the TV. It was infuriating. You would've been annoyed. UCLA eventually won it with their d. They put the clamps on during the last 5 minutes. I think Northwestern got lilke one or two field goals during that span.

You can always count on UCLA to have a couple spells of 4-5 minute periods of stifling defense where the opposing team is absolutely helpless against the suffocating D. On the flip side of that coin though, you can always count on UCLA going through a couple spells of 4-5 minutes where they aren't able to put it in the hoop. Bona looked like shit today. I'd give him like a D+ on the day. It's like the time off made him forget how to play. He was playing really sped up and not taking his time. He reaggravated his should injury going up for a dunk. I hope the few days off helps him. Singleton went down towards the end of the game. On the replay his ankle got parallel to the court. It was gross. Everyone thought he broke his ankle. Cronin immediately ran on the court. The announcer was like "don't replay that" and of course they did. By all accounts, it sounds like the ankle is fine though. I guess we'll know tomorrow morning. Singleton tweeted that the ankle was just a sprain and he wasn't walking around with noticeable limp after the game. UCLA can't catch a break these past few games. Clark, Bona, and now Singleton all going down.

Debating going to the Sweet 16 game in Vegas, but we'll see if I can snag a ticket for face. We're probably going to play Gonzaga. God, if we lose to them again I'll flip my shit. I know you would too. You know what's funny about the UCLA/Zags rivalry? No one really remembers the half-court Suggs buzzer beater that killed us in OT in the 2021 run, but everyone remembers the "Heartbreak City" Adam Morrison game. That was probably THE sports highlight of our time at UCLA. I can't remember if you were at my place watching that game when the whole neighborhood erupted in simultaneous exuberance. I like to think that you were there, but you were probably watching with your CCM friends you dork.

Dear Jason,

UCLA beat Arizona today. Last game of the regular season. Revenge game for the loss we watched when we visited you in Austin. As usual, UCLA started slow out of the gate. It's kind of a calling card for them at this point, sadly. About 3/4 of the way through the first half UCLA took control of the game.

Arizona kept it within striking distance all night, but it was one of those games that was never really in doubt. Arizona was disjointed all of the second-half and UCLA just kind of imposed their will. The score didn't reflect it, but it felt like a blow out.

We may have lost Jaylen Clark for the rest of the year though. He had a non-contact leg injury after he had a steal in the backcourt and an easy layup. It's hard to tell what happened, but didn't look good because he instantly pulled-up lame after backpedaling after the layup. He was in a boot and crutches for the remainder of the game and is getting an MRI done tomorrow. Wouldn't be shocked if we just lost him for the tourney.

This is when you'd tell me that UCLA is done, and usually I'd have to talk you down from the ledge because you were always such a Negative Nancy about UCLA basketball, but you'd be right in this case. Clark is kind of irreplaceable on this team. No one does what he does. Don't think any of the rooks are gonna be able to fill his shoes. But, it's March right? Final Four as an 11 seed??? Yeah...we got this.

Oh, you should know that Jaquez has put the offense on his back the past few weeks. You were dogging him during his offensive slump in the middle of the season, but the past few weeks he has been the only one we can rely on for buckets. He's found his groove again. He's a top 5 Bruin of our era. Just wish you could've witnessed it. I think even you would have been impressed.

Lunardi has us as a one seed in the West now. Crazy, huh? Last time we were a one seed was 2008 in the Howland era. It only took 15 years to get back to that spot. Man, that was a good run during those Howland years. Three straight Final Fours--just couldn't get over the hump.

This is the most complete and competitive team UCLA has put on the hardwood since the Howland years. This team is poised for a deep run. Hopefully, the Clark news isn't too grim. I was hoping you'd make it through March so we could have watched the tournament together. I know we would've been texting back and forth during the game nonstop after every bad play and missed call. Watching UCLA sports won't ever be the same anymore.

At 4:50pm on February 7, 2023, Jason passed away in his hospital bed surrounded by his wife and family. Jason was 38 years old. I miss the guy already, but glad he doesn't have to fight anymore. He hated cliches, but he fought to the end. I'm more certain of that than anything.

We FaceTimed with Jason around 3:30pm. It was hard to see him struggling to breathe. That audible gasp is seared into my memory. It reminded me so much of seeing my grandma on her deathbed a few years ago--the face, the gesticulations, the gasping for air, it was all so completely crushing.

Me, Kenneth, and Pat all looked on not knowing what to say. It took a few minutes for me to process what was happening before my eyes. Then the floodgates opened. The tears welled-up and started to stream down my face. I started to lose my breath and got that horrible crying pain you get behind your throat as you try to choke back the tears.

We took turns saying our last words to Jason. Kenneth first, then Pat, then me. When it was my turn to speak, I just cried harder and couldn't compose myself. I had to look away from him. It hurt too much. I looked to the wall for answers that weren't there. I looked anywhere but the phone screen. It hurt to see him like that. For what felt like an eternity, it was quiet. I'm sure it was awkward for everyone as they waited for me to speak. After all this time, I somehow never gave thought to what my last words to Jason would or should be.

"I love you, Jason."

"I wish I was there with you."

It's all I could muster before the next wave of tears started to take over. I'm not sure how I feel about those being my last words. I wish I could've said the thing to bring him back for that brief moment of clarity. To be honest, I'm not sure Jason was even "there" with us. I like to believe he was. I like to believe that his hand squeezing his sister's hand were really him communicating in response to seeing and hearing us, but I just don't know.

I ended up inviting Brent, Eugene, Eunku, and Luuluu to the call. I just needed something to do to put my sadness on hold. I think everyone was a little jarred upon joining the FaceTime. No one got any notice about Jason's actual condition upon joining the call. Like me, everyone had to take a beat to process what they were seeing. Each new invitee meant an awkward silence. Nothing really prepares you for these moments. After a little bit, everyone got comfortable enough to speak up and say their piece. Call it faith, kismet, or sheer coincidence, but we were all available, with no notice, on a Tuesday afternoon to be on that call together. I'm grateful for that.

Our call would eventually be cut short as Jason's condition took a sudden turn and the phone fell backwards pointed to the ceiling. We could hear Ellen shout out "not yet, not yet" and Shandra told us she'd call us back. I think we all knew it, but not a one said anything.

We remained on the call without Jason and made small talk about him and what's been going on with his health as of this week. Ellen texted me and Kenneth about 15 minutes later.

"My brother left the world with his friends by his side."

The eight of us sat there on the call and got to be with Jason in his last moments. I'm happy that we, he, and the family got that. "Closure" isn't a thing, but I am glad that Jason's life was bookended by that call. The eight of us, despite some of our differences, and people going their separate ways over the years, were together like old times. I like to think that Jason fought like hell this week to hang on long enough so we could all have that call with him.

Thanks for fighting, Jason.