Keeping Our Dreams Alive: Part 1: Young, Wild and Free (Chapters 1 to 12)
Goh Poh Sengās novel, If We Dream Too Long, is arguably considered a bildungsroman where the issues of the personal growth of the character, Kwang Meng, is explored. In this timeline, his development and maturity will be charted and explored, while drawing links to development of modern day Singaporeans.
Some motifs alluded to Kwang Mengās immaturity are:
- Ā Ā Ā Ā His love for the sea
Perhaps his love for the sea can be seen as a form of escapism as he travels most notably to the sea to escape from the routine of his work (chapter 1) and takes Lucy to the sea, escaping the more ācommon sensicalā option of going out with his friends and with ānicer girlsā (chapter 9).
- Ā Ā Ā Ā Sex, alcohol, smoking
The vices of youth! These symbols are commonly associated with teenagers; these can be seen as mild addictives as they give pleasure and joy. Kwang Meng is noted to make degrading comments and objectifies women (he judges Anneās bodily measurements) and constantly visits many bars such as the Paradise and Happy Bar. All these actions unsurprisingly causes concern in Kwang Mengās mother who is afraid he gets ācancerā and āwaste(s) himselfā by becoming a ādrunkardā.
- Ā Ā Ā Hyper consciousness of a social divide
One would note his awkwardness at higher class places such as the G.H. cafĆ©. Kwang Meng seems uncouth in comparison as he is unable to use forks and spoons and does not wear socks with his dress shoes. Most notably is Kwang Mengās uncomfortable demeanour; he seems to have a lack of self-confidence and is uncomfortable with his āshortcomingsā and how he does not fit in.
- Ā Ā Ā Ā Skiving off work
Another constant, we note how he does not take his work seriously but is always making excuses such as how he is sick/his father is ill, spending time in the toilet instead of doing actual work and having a less than amicable relationship with his boss. Kwang Meng seems highly irresponsible.
Upon journeying with Kwang Meng through this āfirst sectionā of the novel, readers may either get frustrated at him for his incompetence at āpull(ing) himself togetherā (as articulated by his mother in chapter 12). However, I am more inclined to think that many others will sympathise with him.
I think in our fast paced society of Singapore (or perhaps any other modern, globalised city), we are similar to Kwang Meng as we do not really have much time to sit and think about our dreams - if we were lucky enough to have any. Many of us drift along, going through the ārat raceā to survive, to live up to societyās definitions of āsuccessā (having enough to support your family, accumulating comforts like cars and houses). I suppose this is particularly relevant for our younger generation, who have not yet found their places in the world and have been newly introduced to the tensions between the security of a āsurvivable jobā versus the adventure of chasing oneās dreams.
However, Kwang Mengās journey in finding himself may not entirely be the same as our modern experiences. In the older Singaporean generation, it is arguable that there were less opportunities and one was more constrained in making life choices. Kwang Meng experienced difficulties in furthering his education as he needed to support his family financially. In our modern times, youth are faced with a lot more choices with multitudes of study spheres (humanities, sciences, arts; there has been an increase in variation of course options), availability of financial aids, bursaries and scholarships. One is now equally lost and āstuckā due to the wide spectrum of possibilities.
Perhaps this novel calls us to take some time to ponder and reflect on our dreams and desires for our future, giving us some grounding, no matter how unstable, to focus and head towards.
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