Gerde-HAHA

IM FINALLY BACK TO DRAWING AND I CANT THINK OF A STUPID OUTFIT FOR NOLI IM CRYING

boo

HAHAHHA I HAVE ACTUALLY GENUINELY LOST IT??? I’ve spent maybe a few hours(??) making some pretty lineart that I’m really happy about!!… great!!! such a jolly good and exquisite feast I’ve created for myself!!!! I must mention I have NEVER felt this much love towards my lineart in the past, and I finally feel like I’m back!!! TO BEING ME!!! and what happens?? WHAT HAPPENS?? I spend 2 days, trying to color the drawing, which is fine, IF I MADE ANY FREAKING PROGRESS. I CANT COLOR. just a few days ago, it was fine!!! I understood what I was coloring and everything was joyous and in harmony!!! then it decides to pack its bags and doesn’t even tell me it’s going to get milk from the corner store because OH HOW FUN!!! WE’RE GOING TO PUSH YOU OFF A CLIFF WITH NOTHING AT THE BOTTOM BECASE THERE IS NO BOTTOM ??!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW THIS LIGHTING WORKS YOU JUST DID IT AND ITS STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU YOU MORON??? and it’s not like light is anything new to me!!! sure I have trouble with drawing it but I know key concepts like bounce light, rim light, ambient occlusion, shadows, subsurface scattering and how it affect the colors on a surface!! Those videos on the internet?? Completely understand those!!!! It’s great!!! Then I walk over to my canvas and it decides to HOGTIE ME AND BEAT ME WITHIN AN INCH OF MY LIFE AND BRAINWASH ME UNTIL IM WATCHING COCOMELON IN A RETIREMENT HOME. MY BRAIN IS THAT ONE KID IN KINDERGARTEN THAT ASKS THE DUMBEST QUESTIONS AND HAS THE BRAIN OF AN INFANT STILL IN THE WOMB. I HATE COLORING! AM WOULDVE FELT ONLY HALF A SMALL, NEGLIGIBLE, PORTION OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR COLORING AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT. when I pick a color, it’s like, oh hey! I look really pretty! And then when I pick the second color, it’s like, oh yeah! I look pretty!! But two pretty people don’t always match!!! AND THEN IM STUCK PLAYING HULAHOOP WITH THE COLOR WHEEL TO THE POINT OF INSANITY BECAUSE NOTHING MY FEEBLE HADS GRASP ONTO WILL SAVE MY DRAWING. I EVEN DO THE RIGHT THING BY LOOKING FOR LIGHTING REFERENCE!!! I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE ENOUGB BUT ITS NOT!! MY INSANITY HAS REACHED ITS PEAK AND ANY SPRT OF LIGHTING I WANT TO DO COVERS UP MY LINEART TO THE POINT WHERE IT NEVER MATTERED IN THE FIRST PLACE. I WANT TO RENDER, I REALLY DO!!! …. IT WOULD BE SO GREAT TO BE SENT DIVINE WILL TO GUIDE ME IN MY DARKET HOURS TO FINISH THIS ONE DRAWING, BUT alas that hope keeps deciding to DANGLE MY HAND JUST OUT OF REACH BECAUSE ART LOVES SCREWING ME OVER LIKE THAT!!!

OMG HELLO !!!!! i didn’t know that you had tblr what