He Lives On Sesame Street Dumbass @georg-glass - Tumblr Blog

georg-glass

Come visit my island! I’m still pretty new so I could use some help! I may be able to help in return if I’m able to.

Dodo code: Closed

georg-glass

Will be reopening again soon

#animal crossing #acnh

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tlirsgender

The remake reboot prequel sequel industrial complex is killing me but the good thing is I don't have to watch any of that. I can just think "that sounds boring or otherwise doesn't interest me in any way" and do something other than watch it

tlirsgender

"They're making a willy wonka origin story with timothee chalamet," you might say to me. "They're doing a live action the last airbender again, didn't you love avatar?" I don't find it necessary. This is nothing to me

bumblewyn

#my ability to not watch something is unparalleled

glyphsmash

you are fucking died. game oval.

brucebocchi

this is 100% why i never fucked with that “normcore” nonsense and why i’m still extremely self-conscious about what i wear and how my clothes fit, even after my weight loss. wearing “normal” clothes only becomes “fashion” when it’s on skinny attractive people and once it’s on a fat person it’s suddenly the trappings of the tacky and the unwashed poors. fuck out of here. you can make anything look good.

unofficial-sean

i think I’m in love. more of this, please

#greentext #meme #shitpost #radio

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badjokesbyjeff

A couple, after a rather successful first date and are heading back to the guy’s apartment.

As the guy reaches for his keys, the girl says, “Oh, this part usually tells me how a guy is in bed. If a guy fumbles around trying to get the key into the lock, it means he hasn’t had much experience and has no idea what he’s doing, but if the guy just jams the key in, it means he’s very forceful and demanding, and that’s no good either. Now let’s see how you do.”

“Alright then,” Says the guy with a smirk on his face. He then proceeds to lick the lock.

inthefallofasparrow

In the town where I grew up, there was a large statue in one of the parks, of a famous historical white colonizer. I'm not going to say who specifically, suffice it to say that it was someone who wasn't worth memorializing for their deeds. And as you can imagine, this statue was a frequent target of vandalism, with paint or toilet paper or eggs on multiple occasions. Now, the local council was generally pretty lax when it came to repairing potholes or other public damage in the town, but every time, 24 hours after this particular statue was hit, the same person would always appear in a Hi-Vis vest, hat, mask and sunglasses, carrying a bucket of water, and wash it clean. They would do it as quickly as possible, but always made sure the face and the name carved at the bottom were generously scrubbed. This only encouraged people to do it again, and so it became a vicious cycle.

Within a year, the statue had sustained so much damage that it was unrecognizable and the lettering unreadable, so eventually the council came and took it down. Also apparently, the person in the Hi-Vis vest didn't even work for the council. They were supposedly just some 'good samaritan' who cleaned it, often before the council even discovered it needed cleaning, so they just let them do it and ignored the problem. They didn't bother putting the statue up again.

Much later, we found out that the anonymous 'samaritan' had been deliberately washing the statue with a bucket of saltwater, which had dramatically corroded it, causing irreversible accumulative damage far worse than spray paint ever would have done. It's even theorized that they were also often the one spray-painting it, just so that they had an excuse to come back after a day to wash it.

pansexual-pied-piper

What is or isn’t a slur can be highly contextual, y'all.

“Jonny Sims bummed a fag off my ma” doesn’t contain a slur, but “What are you, some kind of fag?” does.

“Queer studies”, “the queer community” and “I’m queer”? Not a slur. Some bigot calling you a “dirty queer”? Slur.

“Be gay, do crimes” and “He’s gay” ≠ slur, but “Ew, that’s so gay” = slur.

In conclusion, stop buying into this fucking “q slur” bullshit. Queer people talking about the queer community aren’t using it as a slur any more than a gay man calling himself gay is using that term as a slur.

kyleblackpaw

Looks like its time for derogatory pepperoni again

pansexual-pied-piper

That is actually hilarious, thank you for this addition

micro-usb-deactivated20230625

What crypt do they keep digging these motherfuckers out of

micro-usb-deactivated20230625

orteil42

indie games: what if you were a little fly. what if a sentient locomotive was after you. what if you tidied up a house. what if you were a bear who runs a B&B

AAA games: what if u had a gun

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gimmickbird-deactivated20231221

Love that the internet will tell. You mazda had to do a model recall because spiders were uncontrollably attracted to their cars in 2014 then you read more and find it happened before woth the same car company in 2011

gimmickbird-deactivated20231221

Mazda spokesmen say "lol idk"

gimmickbird-deactivated20231221

For those wondering apparently this breed of spiders fucking loves gasoline, mazda built anti spider springs to push them out and a software patch to. Do something with fuel pressure in case they did get in and weaved loads of webs that fucked up thr fuel capacity and no one knows why it was mazdas in particular that got infested

aflo

this is one of those problems you have to solve in a dream

natrasharomanova

i work at a children's hospital. as per hospital regulations, all employees have to go through regular fire safety trainings. most of it is pretty standard. and then there's the Baby Vest.

it looks like this:

it fits six babies. and in the event of a fire we're literally supposed to just put it on, fill it with babies, and then evacuate the building.

jungwildeandfree

fire alarm (ringing)

me, stuffing babies into my vest: sorry excuse me i have to leave immediately

charlesoberonn

princessmo

all video games should be dressup games. if you can't put your guy in a little outfit what's the point

introvertedx10

headspace-hotel

This linguistic problem is only going to continue getting worse unless we fuck it in the ass now.

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the-real-numbers-deactivated202

supergameboytwo

like to charge, reblog to cast

theolddivorcedzukka

[id: a screenshot of a news article from msn. the headline reads “elon musk admits he is ‘lonely’ after his split with grimes; says he’s not afraid to die.” there is an image of elon musk attached to the news article on the right side. end id]

phonsekal-laure-deactivated2023

Listen... no offense but show me your dicks

cowten-deactivated20220510

Or hole tbh

yourlocaldreamer

Or both

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