the comeback kid @gentlethorns - Tumblr Blog

gentlethorns

thinking . .. thoughts. what if i start a literary magazine. what then

gentlethorns

FUCK IT LOL i did it. Flash & Dazzle is now live!

#she bork #2026 #literary magazine #lit mags #i fawking did it. crazy work

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god and it will never end btw either. next weekend is my weekend off but i have to WORK BC IT'S TAX FREE. i am feeling very very depressed rn and i guess its bc i've been stressed about money and then now this shit w my car costing money i didn't have to begin w but i just lowkey feel like it would be best if i could not exist. i will calm down eventually but not rn

#she bork #tbd #been crying literally all day. all day. my life is awesome

i love those moments when you realize no one actually gives a fuck about you the way you care about them <3

#she bork #tbd #idk man ik everyone has their own shit going on but it's just crazy when you have people nearby and w perfect ability to help and they just.#don't. even though i help everyone whenever i can no matter what i have going on. now i'm stuck without a fucking car until probably #saturday at the earliest and ubering to work even though these car repairs are already costing over 2k and i didn't have money to begin w <3

got a gym membership finally. so i'm locking in and getting hot

#she bork #i've been like semi-locked in since may but i've stopped making progress so clearly what i was doing wasn't enough. so i'll be going back to #what i was doing in my senior year of high school that did seem to be working for me at that time. 30 mins of cardio and then weights. very #excited

i fear it's hitting me that i'll never be 16 again

#she bork #tbd #looked at old pics. my mistake tbh. i'll never have the same friends i'll never have the same body i'll never burn quite as bright.

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sigh. personalized rejections are almost worse than the stock rejections lol

#she bork #novel 2024 #i'm not like super down lol but i am like damn :/ like i wonder what exactly didn't land that causes them to reject it. i'm concerned about #'someone who is . . . confident in their ability to position it' bc that kind of sounds to me like this agent didn't think my novel is #marketable. which is scary bc i'm already kind of aware my novel is in a weird place between genres. and also i've just always been this way #where an almost is worse than a flat no or like second place is worse than a straight loss. but again it's fine lol one door closes baby.#anyway my friend read my cards last night and it sounded to me through that reading that gooood things are coming. so i'm not too worried #about one rejection lol #and yk another thing? this agent's response time is two weeks or less and it took them almost three weeks to respond w this. so not like an #egregious amount of time lol but it seems to me they at least had to think about it for a minute before they said no. so at least there's #that

gentlethorns

okay but the concept of a total stranger having custody of my baby rn??? reading it, thinking thoughts, putting it under a microscope?? FORMING AN OPINION????? gonna barf

#tbd #thinking about this again want to throw up

cried today bc i was very tired and overwhelmed by the fact that i don't want to go to work anymore and i want to have fuck you money and i need to go on vacation. BUT I NEED MONEY TO DO THAT. god help

#she bork #tbd #need a vacation BADLY but again. you need money for that. which i don't have. so

ahhhhhHHHHHH I WANT TO BE AN ARTIST. i want my work out in the world and AFFECTING PEOPLE. art is so incredible

#she bork #today i want to a center for the arts and saw an exhibit from an artist . .. fucking incredible. her work (oil on canvas) actively made me #cry. i wish i had $850 to throw around bc there was one piece . .. between the title and the work itself it just seemed like it was peering #into me and through me. god fucking damn. i need to do that to people but w words. and the greatest fear of my life is that that may not be #my destiny.#*went to a center for the arts. lol #AND FURTHERMORE. i don't want to go to work tomorrow. ahhh FUCK i want to make a living doing what i'm supposed to do!!!! i need to be #creative for a living!!!!!! my job is not bad like it used to be but it's not my purpose. and ik your job doesn't have to be tied to your #purpose but it takes up such a huge chunk of time that it's hard to juggle the two. ik i'm still young and i need to chill out and be #patient and just keep chipping away until something gives but it's so hard lol. fingers crossed crossed crossed that this agent wants my #manuscript or i will die

iwontknowyouanymore

me when im reading a good book, and it’s a good book, and i love a good book

#tbd #what i hope the agent who has my manuscript is doing rn #novel 2024

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okay but the concept of a total stranger having custody of my baby rn??? reading it, thinking thoughts, putting it under a microscope?? FORMING AN OPINION????? gonna barf

#she bork #novel 2024 #sorry i'll shut up i promise i'm just like oh GOD someone is reading it. in a professional capacity. horrifying. it's like i forget about it #but then i remember and it's like looking down and realizing you're at a great height without a harness. i could fall

anotha day anotha rejection

#she bork #it doesn't bother me bc i have the one agent reading my full and ig that's all that matters lol. i just would also like to have some options #my brain is so full of what ifs and next steps and plans a-z and i'm like AHHHHHH #novel 2024 #anyway i get off in an hour and then i go home and my bf and i play tennis and then i have to pack for the beach trip i'm taking this week 💃#and also have to put together my friend's bday gift (bc that's why we're doing the beach trip) and the goodbye gift i got my awesome boss #who got promoted ☹️ and also i have to take off the polish on my fingies and toes bc it's scuffed as fuck and i'm getting them redone #professionally on thursday. hopefully after all that i still have time to work on the short story i'm redrafting

MAYDAY MAYDAY MAYDAY i got a request from an agent for my full manuscript!!!!!!!!!!!

#novel 2024 #she bork #HOLY FUCKING SHIT???????? i'm gonna throw up bye

round of applause please bc i FINALLY cracked the code to a short story i wrote in TWENTY-TWENTY-TWO. 2022. and outlined it and now i can rewrite it

#she bork #AND submitted another like 15 novel queries between yesterday and today so now i'm chillin w like 25 active submissions to agents. creative #girlies 🔛🔝 rn

havingapoemwithyou

magdalene: the addict by Marie Howe

#poetry #about

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mournfulroses

Albert Camus, from a play titled "Caligula," featured in Caligula & Three Other Plays

#poetry #about

thatartblog

heartstrings I (2013) by selma alaçam

#photo art #music #fiona apple #lyric art

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