where we sin.

masterlist!

— one-shot

✧ kaeya alberich

ain’t shit (smut, cheating, dilf!kaeya)

✧ zhongli

contract (smut, cheating, student!reader ft professor!zhongli, dilf!zhongli)

✧ thoma

win for me, okay? (angst, major character death, squidgame!au, gn!reader)

— mini-series

✧ tartaglia/childe 

bad birthday decisions (smut, hurt/comfort, reader ft. childe & thoma)

1  2  3  4

✧ thoma

bad birthday decisions (smut, hurt/comfort, reader ft. childe & thoma)

guess which dumbass forgot their login info for months and just gave up trying...

i promise i didn’t abandon this account PLEASE some personal and school stuff just happened and I kinda don’t wanna talk about it :( but anyways i am back and i’ll get back to everyone’s messages asap! i appreciate your messages and kind notes <3

here are the drafts i have kept for so long from last year, i’ll polish them first before i start properly posting again~

pairing thoma x reader

genre angst

song inspo orange - 7!!

oneshot? series? one-shot

synopsis being kind can hurt those around you sometimes. that was what thoma failed to consider when he agreed to this game.

word count 1.1k

content warning not spoiler free, major character death

author’s note YES i got inspired from that one particular scene from the Squid Game, can you tell i’m so invested in this kdrama? 😼 if you haven’t watched the series yet then this story may be confusing to you, but just for your reference, the scene i’m talking about is this one~ I also read a tweet that went something like ‘’how far would Thoma survive the Squid Game’’ and just wanted to make a littol angst for my boy. ah well, angst isn’t my expertise but nobody else would write my thoma angst brainrot for me so it’s up to me to torture myself into writing one ˋ△ˊ also another side note for those who haven’t watched it, player 067 is referring to the reader, while 240 refers to thoma. hope you guys enjoy this small one-shot! not spoiler free btw!!

blood drained from your face the moment you realised what thoma had done.

it took several more seconds of staring at the shiny marble by your feet before the reality finally set in. your lips gaped then closed in what seemed to be an attempt at saying something, but the only thing you came out with were shaky breaths and shivers from the mixture of emotion you were feeling. your head started spinning from anger, hurt, and panic as you continued glaring at the small marble that was laid upon you.

you couldn’t understand this. you couldn’t understand why thoma did what he did. your fingers curled into a fist as you held your fuming self from charging at him, not wanting to get into trouble with the pink guard watching your every action. though the sudden waves of emotion nearly drowned you in the heat of the moment, you somehow managed to utter a quiet moan of his name, still in disbelief and denial.

‘‘...why?’’

the golden haired boy merely chuckled. it was like he was unaware of the consequences his actions would bring upon himself. he seemed far too relaxed for someone who would eventually meet his demise in the span of five minutes. but thoma was fully aware of his fate. he knew what he was doing, which was why you were confused at his gesture. his hollow eyes continued to observe your statue-like figure as you let out a distressed sigh at the lack of response from him.

‘‘oops, i lost. too bad...’‘ thoma smiled humorlessly at the game outcome. he wanted to say more, but eventually backtracked, unsure of the reaction he would get from you. but then again, he wasn’t all that surprised when you abruptly grabbed the collar of his bomber jacket before slamming his much taller frame to the wall, eyes puddling with angry tears as you struggled to calm your ragged, uneven breathing-his own calm breathing was a stark contrast to yours. his tired eyes gazed down at your smaller figure, his expression looking unreasonably composed. he had been mentally preparing himself for his planned defeat since the past 30 minutes, after all.

‘‘the fuck are you doing?’‘ you hissed, gripping his collar tighter.

‘‘i lost. you won.’‘

‘‘why would you do this?’‘

‘‘hey, i promised to make you win. remember?’‘ thoma solemnly reminded you of his vow from the past game, which only enraged you further. yes, he was supposed to help you win. but not like this.

‘‘no. take another shot.’‘

‘‘we agreed to go all out in this round. there’s no ‘another shot’.’‘

‘‘for fuck’s sake, just do it.’‘

‘‘damn it, just let me lose in peace, will you?’‘ thoma snickered, hoping to ease the anxiety that ran through both of you.

‘‘DO YOU THINK I’LL BE HAPPY WITH THIS?’‘ 

upon seeing your outburst and violent crying, accompanied with bouts of yelling, it was only then that thoma realised how much toll this game was taking on you. his calm facade momentarily faltered the second he took a better look at your bloodshot eyes, your cheeks dampening as your sight of thoma got blurry from the tear build up.

the boy was silent, only letting out a faint sigh in despair. gulping, he took another glance at your face, briefly noting how delicate you looked crying like this. 

‘’i have nothing.’’

‘‘what?’‘

‘‘when you asked me what i would do with the prize money... i thought hard about it. i found nothing.’‘ he took your silence as a sign to continue.

‘‘you need to reunite with your brother. you have something to fight for. but i don’t. i have nothing to look forward to. my life holds no meaning. the one with a strong reason to get back out there... should be the one that wins.’’ thoma declared with an air of finality. there was no changing his mind from this decision that would ultimately cost him his life. your panicky state from just minutes ago turned numb as you took in his solemn words, though your lips still trembled out of frustration by this turn of events.

strangely, thoma felt comforted when you no longer tried arguing with him. at this point, both of you were just listening to his calm, whispery breath, accompanied by the occasional sniffles from you. thoma gently placed his palms on top of yours, loosening the tight grip you had on his jacket, his thumbs slowly rubbing your skin in reassurance. it was his way of telling you it’s okay, he will be alright, you will be alright.

‘’go win this thing for us, okay? find your brother, and visit disneyland with him... like you’ve always wanted to,’’ thoma added with a hoarse cracked voice and a gloomy smile, tiny droplets of tears brimming at his lower eyelash as he started losing his composure the more time passed.

it wasn’t until the announcement of the game coming to its end that he finally let go of your wrists, as one of the pink guards that stood by started grabbing your arm, leading you away from the game. away from him.

you took heavy steps towards the exit, your movement slow and disoriented while your weary brain was still processing the abruptness of the situation. why must it all come down to this? you were supposed to be teammates. you were supposed to be fighting against other teams, not against each other. it wasn’t supposed to end like this.

‘‘oi, y/n,’‘ thoma called out one last time. this had you stopping in your track, but you didn’t dare to look back at him, knowing that you won’t be able to handle whatever sight you would be facing behind you.

with a shaky voice, thoma forced himself to put on a bright smile as he uttered his last words. 

‘’thank you for playing this game with me.’’

it was silent.

then gunshot ensued.

the immediate announcement of player 240′s elimination following the gunshot was the nail of finality that needed to be punched into you for you to finally be able to continue your walk towards the exit. 

it was thoma’s first and last time saying your name. your name had never sounded better than when it left his lips, but the cheerful boy you befriended two days ago was no more. if only you turned around to face him for the last time, you probably would have been more heartbroken had you realised that thoma died smiling at you. as much as you wanted to forget this particular event, you knew that his mellow voice calling out for you will be etched into your memories eternally.

thank you, thoma.

I SAW OMG... at this rate mihoyo needs to pull themselves together and come up with better rewards to appease the fandom.

HELLO!!! my brain is fried from school lately, uni truly sux :c

Ps. Sorry for my broken english 👉👈

no worries love, your English is great!!

it's nice to gather my fellow thoma simps together, i'm looking forward for my brain to come up with more thoma fics too :'D