This is my online book of feelings.

There’s this feeling in me that somehow I felt like I stole my bother’s future. Like he should have the things that I have right now and he should be in the places where I’ve been. I felt like I stoop over him and disregarded the fact that he’s older than I am and that he should experience first the things that I am experiencing now. 

I feel bad that I can feel he’s somehow trapped to the situation and he doesn’t want to leave anyone else like I did. Cos if he’d leaving no one will be there for the people I left in the PH and we’ll be in total wreck. Somehow, I know that he wants to grow but he couldn’t just expand his wings to explore that much because he’s so constraint due to the situation he’s dealing. I somehow put myself out of the circle that’s why if he fails in life, I think it’ll be my greatest conscience.