Color Me Amused

Honestly I've been so offline for about a year, and I just wanted to look you up. I felt this love wash over me, I adore you. I knew right then that it was real. The phone calls. you having to move to a uncomfortable position, just so you had signal enough for me to hear and see you clearly. I am in awe, coud she have been the one? She gave me time, she waited, just as she said. Because I was having a hard time connecting, I am furious. Because I still am. Did I let her slip through my fingers? Was I or am I strong enough to try? Again. I feel time passing right through me, and I so want to desperately reach through time and find you. I'm scared, that it will be the last time. I'm the most scared of that. I want you in my life. Half year went by and you were still there, eagerly awaiting. Almost a year and you casual talk, wanting me to be alive again like I once was. Over a year has gone by, it's quiet, and it's my turn. I am eager, because of you. I want you here. But a swift turn in my reflection and I see decomposition, 23 soon to be 24 and I cannot recognize myself. And shame that comes with that makes me disconnect.