I feel I own an explanation about my post yesterday.
Around that time, I unlisted all the YouTube videos and the playlist (but not deleted, because I don’t want to make the time I had to spend to upload them wasted) and disabled all the related alarms on my phone.
I got basically ranted at in the chat regarding my heavy use of save states finishing Popful Mail yesterday, claiming I wouldn’t need them if I played the actual game and got better instead of cheesing it with save scumming, and how it’s not “professional” to complain on-mic if I want to be “serious about streaming.”
I need to remember that the people that actually watch my streams probably aren’t even aware this blog exists, because I alert them through linking directly to the Twitch from Discord. (And I’m doing my damnedest to not go “meanwhile” regarding that guy’s streams or the games he’s played because this isn’t about that.)
I don’t want to be serious about streaming. I want to be serious about video game development. I made this project to play games on my childhood system, show off what the system had and why I loved it so much. I made this to have fun. The stream display, the database to keep track of everything, the blog theme... those are all my base minimum. That’s how exacting my standards for my own work are. If they weren’t, I wouldn’t have dropped $70 on a headset or borrowed my brother’s overwrought “podcast studio” audio equipment, I would’ve just used my laptop’s cruddy built-in mic. If I didn’t have those things, I wouldn’t have the confidence to run this project at all, at least not enough to get past that first hiatus through Spring ‘17. Hell, the lack of ability to get the lattermost for a Pokemon ask blog idea basically choked it to death.
And that rant took away all the fun. I actually was emotionally numb for the entirety of Metal Man’s stage and most of Wood Man’s.
(And if anyone brings up those “donations” that occurred during the first part of Kid Chameleon, that was a troll and I got no money. People apparently do that. Frankly, if people like that are what I get as an audience for “serious streaming,” I’m not interested.)
Honestly, I’ve been tired of this project and keeping it up for awhile; the lack of recording uploads telegraphed that. Dropping it would leave that time free for any job I’m looking for, including a file clerk job at a bank that I’ve got an eye on. It’s a pretty good tradeoff - I don’t have to talk (it would be literally against the rules there), the daily goals are achievable, and I would get paid. It’d probably be better for my mental health to step away in any case.
This hiatus is indefinite. It’s all but flat-out cancelled at this point. It’s not officially cancelled in the possibility of picking it up again... next year, maybe. There are still games I want to play, like DOOM and World of Illusion. Though maybe it’d be for the best if I played them by myself. I still might also stream other games at some point - toying with the idea of the original Twilight Princess on GameCube. Who knows.
See you on the flipside.
