Demons / Defeats

Straight up to my faaace. 

Fuck this incessant entitlement, 

a product of this flawed environment. 

I often wonder,

I often fall,

I often blunder,

I often stall

But in it all... 

He tells me I'm no good because

he never understood.

His satisfaction was an abstraction of jealousy.

And obstruction of the good in he.

Friends, brothers, associates. Everyone is individualistic and it amazes me as I come to know the different personalities of those around me. I'm surrounded by motivated individuals, hard workers, young and old, positive and negative. 

It's been awhile since I felt the pressure of expectations, responsibility, and commitments. The promotion of progress beats the promotion of perfection, right? 

Well, I just can't seem to come to terms with my father, brother, sister..

Sometimes I feel like they all hate me; Sometimes I feel like my friends judge me and honestly it's probably true. 

But whether I view this as an unavoidable aspect of socializing or a burden upon my shoulders to which I am affected, expectations will remain constantly: Expectations. 

Do you ever begin to reminisce

When happiness appears to be amiss?

It fills the void...

I come back to this silly notion

that you could restore my prior devotion. 

In this sea of doubt:

I'm inclined to beg for a fatal fallout.

Oh yes, the pessimist!

He who sees the glass half empty

Will allow despair such easy entry.

Wandering, Wondering,

Expectations. Whether they come from others, family members, or yourself, are still expectations.

Are you happy with how things have turned out? What about how the future seems? Our past?  Things change, people change, the team changed.