genderfluid positivity

Hi everyone!

I've been running this blog for quite some time. I've been on tumblr even longer than that. But, recently I've been less and less active on tumblr.

I love the community that we've built on this blog over the years, and while I've been giving you advice... I've also been learning so much from you too. So, I really truly thank you all for being a part of this time in my life.

I will not deactivate this blog, I might visit occasionally to post. But, this will no longer be an active account.

Thank you,

Hello!

Just because you’re genderfluid does not mean that you have to switch between masculine and feminine and neutral. Lots of people only have one or two of these, some people have much more. For example, you could switch between masculine and neutral and that still can be labeled genderfluid.

Of course, questioning yourself is not a bad thing. Sometimes things change and it’s better to keep an open mind about change. Don’t box yourself into anything. We’re all individuals. 

As for your name. If you feel like starting to use a new name, try testing it out a little. Use it to introduce yourself to people you probably won’t talk to again. Change your name on some of your social medias, or use it when playing a video game. Once you test it out, you’ll probably know whether it’s something that you want to use full time or not. 

Hi Anon!

I’m honestly the type of person who is very non-confrontational, so personally I would just wait till I was out of the house. 

However, if you come out to your mom and she is accepting then she can help you come out to your stepfather, and even if he isn’t as accepting he definitely wouldn’t have as much power over the situation if your mom was on your side. 

As for being closeted. Even if you come out to your mom and not your stepdad, you will be able to express yourself more freely. Maybe your stepdad might not respect your pronouns or stuff like that, but you could probably get away with dressing how you want and overall presenting how you want. 

Hi Anon!

It can be a bit of a challenge for your friends to change pronouns every day, which is why they probably don’t even want to give it a try. However, if you show them that it’s not that hard at all they’ll probably be more open to it.

I don’t know how comfortable you feel with this idea, but I think having some sort of visual marker for your pronouns will really help them. That way you don’t have to update them verbally all the time, and they don’t have to ask you either. Some version of this include a bracelet of a specific color to indicate different pronouns. For example, a purple bracelet for they/them, blue bracelet for he/him, etc. You can pick other colors too if you don’t want to enforce gender norms. If a bracelet isn’t your wave, it could be any other type of accessory. Or even a pin with your pronouns on them. 

Something like that might really help. If this isn’t really your thing. I think you should ask one of your closer friends to support you and your pronouns. Once you get one person to start doing it, it becomes easier for larger groups to do it too. 

Hi Anon!

If your father is okay with the lgbtq community then it’s probably best to come out to him first. 

Whether on not you should come out or not is up to you. The issue of coming out really depends on what you want to result from your coming out. If you have new name/pronouns and you want your parents to use them, then it makes sense to come out. 

My thoughts are wear whatever the fuck you want, who cares what you look like. My advice is take it slow. Buy some cute accessories or a few pieces of clothing and add them to whatever your already wearing. Stuff like this is all about aesthetic. And if your aesthetic is wearing cute girly clothes over a masculine body then that’s a dope aesthetic. Fashion is all about confidence, and if you’re confident enough people won’t question what you’re wearing. 

If you really need to build your confidence I would wear something like that to a gay bar or a drag night, you’ll probably get lots of compliments and that’ll help you feel more confident. 

Hi Anon!

What you describe could definitely be considered genderfluid. You don’t sound off putting at all. This is a totally valid question and so are your feelings, but you didn’t need me to tell you that, did you. 

Sorry if I’m assuming anything, but you sort of sound like you’re trying to justify your gender/validity in this ask and you don’t need to do that. Focus on yourself and what you feel. You shouldn’t feel like you don’t belong in this space. 

Hi Anon!

I think you should just sit down and talk to him about it. You should let him know that you feel like he isn’t as accepting as he says he is. Even if you gotta argue with him a little, I think just straight up confronting him would lead to the most positive outcome. You have to stand up for yourself. You’re grown, he can’t tell you what to buy or wear or do. 

You should ask him why he doesn’t like it when you dress more masculine or why he doesn’t like you with short hair. Maybe rather than some transphobia popping out, he feels insecure or like he doesn’t really know you anymore. 

I really think just having a conversation with him will help you out the most, even though it might be hard. Open communication is the key to any good relationship.