I like Ken. The Barbie movie got me to write again. This is a side-blog. Aroace | 35 | she/her but in a Weird Barbie way. In a Crowley way. In a little frog in a bog way | I do not give permission to repost my works anywhere (reblogs are welcome)
Yee-howdy, I'm Gender Kenvy. Based on the name, you can safely assume my specialty is the Barbie movie and my main squeeze (blorbo? is that what the youths call it these days?) is Ryan Gosling's Ken.
I'm ace and probably aro, too, so I tend to explore that a lot in my writing. My pronouns are *exaggerated shrugging*
I am 35 and rediscovering my love of storytelling after a long drought in writing. (Sorry! I am an internet elder and very, very not hip with the times. But Margot Robbie and I are the same age and that's kinda cool.)
I mostly publish over on Ao3 but have cross-posted a couple of things here.
Quick links:
Just a Girls' Doll in a Man's World
[the one that got me writing again <3 ]
Ao3 Link
Summary: Ken is called to the Real World through a portal to his very own human, except that the problem they're facing is one he caused, himself. Now he's taking classes, trying to learn how to be better and mend the rift. It just so happens he's taking some of the same courses that Barbie is. They figure out how a doll and a human with a half-century relationship behind them can help each other grow as people.
Summary: Barbara Handler finds an abandoned doll on a park bench - except he's not a doll anymore. Ken is homeless, but doesn't seem to mind. As time passes, it's clear that he's hiding something: he keeps going missing, only to pop up again acting strangely, can't hold down a job, and won't stick around in the same place for very long. Barbie is determined to figure him out so he can finally have the life always denied to him as a doll. But he has to let her help him.
Rating: T
Length: 175k words
Status: In Progress
Duckling
Ao3 Link
Summary: The Ken x El Esposo de Gloria fic you didn't know you needed. Processing a divorce because his best friend is happier with Barbie, Owen is left treading water, lost. He's happy for them, truly. No hate. But who even is he, anymore? Thankfully, ducklings float - and one is heading right for him.
Rating: M
Length: 70k words
Status: In Progress
One-Shots
Barbie:
Ascension | Ao3 | Tumblr | PG-13 | 1.8 k words | Crack fic/Absurdism. Gloria and Aaron are sent to Barbieland after it was cut off from the real world.
"Sometimes they don't come home at all" | Tumblr | PG-13 | 3.5k words | Ken accidentally gets drafted to Nam. Barbie &co. bring him to the correct time, but he's not the same doll anymore.
The Piece Fits Perfectly (It's From the Wrong Puzzle) | Ao3 | Tumblr | PG-13 | 1.7k words | Kensposo. Prompt: if Sasha was 10 years younger.
worn and useless thin | Ao3 | PG-13 | 7.1k words | Zombie AU. Barbie's only hope for her family is a man with no hope left.
defanged | Ao3 | Tumblr | Teen | 2.3k words | QPR Barbie/Ken. [Divergence from I Could Be Honest, I Could be Human] What if Someone Else found out about Ken?
doomed (gently) | Ao3 | Tumblr | G | 546 words | Kensposo (Liam x Ken #1) | Liam's peace was already broken before an unexpected visitor appeared on his doorstep.
hang the moon in the sky | Ao3 | Tumblr | Teen | 800 words | Kensposo (Liam x Ken #2) | Liam's house guest is experiencing a lot of firsts right now -- luckily he's actually the perfect person to walk him through it.
Ex-mas | Ao3 | Tumblr | Teen | 5k words | Kensposo (Liam x Ken #3) | Liam must navigate the holidays as his divided family comes to visit. At least he has Ken...for better or for worse.
Will you be mine? | Ao3 | Tumblr | Teen | 1.4k words | Kensposo (Liam x Ken #4) | It's Valentine's Day for Liam and Ken...but they're still figuring themselves out.
hand in hand | Ao3 | Tumblr | G | 1.7k words | Kensposo (Liam x Ken #5) | Prompt: Weddings (and Funerals) | Liam wasn't living until Ken came into his life.
Wicked:
I hope it brings you bliss | Ao3 | Teen | 6.2k words | Elphaba & Fiyero | Fiyero's "appreciation" of poppies has him in a downward spiral disguised as bliss.
Project Hail Mary:
Fox!Grace AU: Ao3 | Tumblr: 🦊|🦊🦊|🦊🦊🦊
Various Prompts & Blurbs!
Right here on Tumblr!
Note to self: also add goose groupie challenge fics in here!
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Omg I love this piece. Grace the hanging man, content with his life but cannot avoid the changes coming; the ship his noose, the rope that binds him to his fate; the blood red stars beside him, Olesya and Yáo the angels haunting him in the background. Eva Stratt, the one who holds it all on her back, the world is literally on her shoulders, the Petrova line on her neck. She will not falter, cannot afford to move, and yet still she glares at us. Eva challenges us, daring us to ask if we could do better, if we could hold her burden for even a fraction of the time.
Eve, the mother of sin, who held the world in her hands and was cursed for not knowing.
Eva, director of the task force, who now holds the world, and still must curse man to save it.
In the end, it always falls on a woman. I could never hate you Eva Stratt
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Your takes on how quickly the phm fandom dropped support for Grace being aroace is something I have thought about SO MUCH and I am so glad you think so too. I feel vindicated
people just keep ignoring us and showing surface level support for us but they do nothing to actually try and dismantle amanormativity or anything like that. people will reblog "aroace people are valid!" posts but then they dont engage or listen to us when we want to actually talk about issues we face.
and yeah, sure, it feels silly, but like. it is genuinely IMPOSSIBLE to escape amanormativity. i want to have fun in a fandom! thats why im here! i want to talk about characters i like, look at art and read fanfiction! i wanna see what people think about the same media i enjoy!!! but its so hard to do that when the vast majority of fandoms wants to talk about nothing but shipping.
and the phm fandom was SUCH a breath of fresh air! not only was it GENUINELY the first fandom where a main character was headcanoned as aroace- but it was also the first fandom where platonic relationships seemed to be the most important and talked about and praised. there were so many posts by aroace people talking about how grace being aroace resonated with them, how it makes his story more deep and meaningful and how good of a representation it is to how it is in the real world!
and people would reblog it and engage! ALLO people would reblog and show support to that headcanon!!!!! that never fucking happens! that never happens! previous fandoms ive been in would only have other aspec people interacting with those types of post! here it seemed the MAJORITY of the fandom would engage!
but now suddenly if you want to talk about how weird it is that people dropped the aroace grace thing in favor of a crossover crackship you get called a buzzkill and get told to just block the tag and ignore it and that people are just having fun.
yeah. people are having fun. much more fun that they had with the aroace grace thing it seems. bmary feels like it appeared out of nowhere and took over most of the fandom. aroace grace is not that fun now that theres a fun dude to ship him with.
and like. i really dont like feeling bitter and angry about this! but it is SO clear that people just genuinely do not fucking care about what aspec people have to say. to them us asking for some representation and acknowledgment is asking them to stop having fun.
i already said it before- bmary is a really interesting concept! but it is SO CLEAR to me that people just want to see two conventionally attractive people kiss and fuck at this point.
and i will say- theres nothing wrong with drawing and writing smut and kissing just for the sake of it. but it gets to a point where you have to wonder why thats the only fucking thing people care about.
(i also want to add on- i feel like as much as this is a bmary problem, it also seems like people are just moving on from the main platonic bond of the movie in general. i see more and more of romantic gracerocky every day, and while i absolutely adore them, it is...a little disappointing. because to me it just screams that its not enough for people and they need them to be something "more". with bmary is even WORSE because rocky gets sidelined almost EVERY TIME. graces whole thing about being a coward was changed when he met rocky! he almost died saving rocky! they would both die for each other! they are best friends! they mean the world to each other! thats canon!!! but when you insert simon, a new human to ship grace with- rocky doesnt matter as much and suddenly hes just a sidekick and almost like a pet. thats one of the reasons why my interest in bmary dropped so quick.)
so yeah. id say im sorry that im pissy and "ruining peoples fun" but also consider this: i do not give a single fuck about what allo people say at this point. wah wah wah an aspec person is talking shit about my favorite ship!
im so tired of dealing with allos im gonna be so honest
i want to add on a very obvious note that i think people keep overlooking anyways:
you can ship stuff, yes even romantically, and STILL keep a character as aspec.
maybe the character is aromantic but craves romance anyways- maybe they want go on dates and experience romance even if they cant fall in love. maybe theyre asexual and theyre not attracted to their partner but they like feeling good and close them in a very physical sense.
maybe theyre asexual but not aromantic- and they dont like sex! maybe the relationship is strictly romantic but not sexual! or the other way around- maybe theyre aromantic and not asexual and they get uncomfortable with the idea of being in a romantic relationship- but they still want sex!
and i have examples of my own ships and how i like them!
i love strattland when their relationship is not romantic in the slightest- i enjoy a friends/coworkers with benefits kinda relationship when it comes to them. its just stress relief for the both of them. i also saw someone say they view stratt as aplatonic- and honestly thats one of my favorite ways to look at her too. theyre not dating, theyre not even friends. theyre coworkers. they care for each other, but theres no love attached to that care.
i love carlgrace where neither of them are sure of their sexuality and they experiment with each other. carl is bicurious- is he attracted to men? hes not really sure, but hed be willing to try and see. grace has a complicated relationship with dating and sex- hes dated women before, but it never felt like anything else besides friendship. maybe hes gay? but men dont really seem different to him when it comes to attraction. bisexual then? carl and grace experimenting and figuring themselves out while staying friends.
one of my guilty pleasures when it comes to crossover ships is starstruck. i think that ship is funny as hell especially with aroace grace in the mix. one sided crush on ryders side is a particularly funny way to view the ship. another one is romance repulsed grace who just hits up ryder to hook up when hes in town visiting colt. they never talk or go on dates, its not an exclusive relationship, its just the occasional hookup. grace enjoys it because ryder doesnt want anything more. he doesnt even find him particularly attractive- he doesnt really find most people attractive, but he wants to feel nice without having to worry about someone catching feelings or expecting something more. and with how ryder sleeps around and doesnt particularly care to chit chat with him, its exactly what hes looking for.
when it comes to gracerocky as a ship, i enjoy a friends with benefits situation here as well. theyre both curious about the others biology and anatomy and its a nice little way to pass the time on the way to erid. mutually beneficial biology lessons. i also love a sex repulsed grace who just enjoys rockys company, just likes that theres finally someone in his life who wont expect anything else from him. grace who is finally sure that his partner wont expect sex as the next step in their relationship, that he wont see this as something to "deepen" their relationship.
so there are plenty of ways to ship aro and ace characters without just slapping the label on them and calling it a day. and its so fun to see people explore these kind of dynamics! i dont need people to stop shipping things completely, i just wish there was more of a variety. theres so many options to consider and explore, and yet people just care about the most typical romantic shipping and nothing else.
can i just add one more thing and say its really sad going through the notes on this? because so many people relate????
aspec people are so used to just being pushed aside and ignored and we all had such a nice and fun time in the fandom when we were finally getting some representation (even if its not canon) and people were actually engaging with aspec points of view- but now we're all just disappointed. yeah.
every time i enter a new fandom i set myself up for disappointment by thinking theres gonna be more than a handful of aspec headcanons. this time i actually got to see how nice it is when youre actively a part of the community. aaaand then we just got pushed to the side once again and now we're just an annoying part of the fandom that is ruining the fun for others. yeah.
[sequel to these two posts but can be read as a standalone]
When Ryland comes to, he is shivering on the floor in the living room with no idea how he got there.
“Ry?” a voice sounds near him. He’s pretty sure it’s his mother, only she’s never sounded like that before. High pitched, like a wounded noise. “Thank God you’re okay.”
Her hands shake as she helps him to sit up. His arms are bare where she touches him. All of him is. Why isn’t he wearing any clothes? Why does she look so pale? Why are her eyes red? “What’s happening?” he asks, but his mouth feels clumsy and his voice sounds weak. There’s a shadow in the doorway to the kitchen. Something in the back of his neck tightens, an instinct screaming that there is a threat and he needs to run and hide. When he dares to look, it’s just Dad. Dad doesn’t say anything. He stares at the wall, his face set in stone the way it does when he’s really upset.
“Oh, Ry,” Mom’s voice catches and it makes his stomach drop. It’s like hearing about Aunt Holly all over again. “You turned into a fox last night.”
.
.
Therianthropy is something you’re born with, but it usually doesn’t present until puberty. Depending on the species, you can often tell with adults — certain behaviors or movements, sometimes features like teeth or eyes or hair color. But even then it’s not all the time, and never in childhood. The gene doesn’t always activate, either, so actual symptoms can skip a generation or sometimes multiple — which means a lot of the time, it’s a complete surprise to your parents when you suddenly sprout fur. It means that sometimes, even the people who try to keep their bloodlines “pure” end up with a nasty shock.
It’s not like thropes are anything new, it’s just…people are people. The second they spot a difference, it’s a “threat to society.” Even if it’s been a part of society since society began.
.
.
Ryland barely has time to put his pajamas back on before his father begins herding him toward the front door. “Why?” Ryland asks, obeying but still confused by everything that has happened.
“Get your coat,” Dad says. Ryland pulls his big winter coat off the hook, uncertainly standing by the front door with it hanging from his hand like a dead animal.
“Where are we going?”
“Get in the car.” Dad grips his shoulder and steers him through the door. He doesn’t let go. Ryland cranes back to look for his mother. She only just seems to be catching up, and stops in the doorway, clutching her robe to herself. Her hair looks flat in the winter morning light, bags under her eyes.
“Richard?”
“Dad—”
“Where are you taking him?”
Dad pushes him into the cab of the truck and closes the door. He’s only half dressed himself, a coat and flannel tugged over his night clothes and the moccasin slippers Ryland had given him for Christmas. He starts driving without even buckling the seatbelt.
“Where are we going? What’s happening? Dad!” It grows more distressing by the moment as each of Ryland’s questions is ignored. He gets more scared the more it goes on. “Dad, please! Why are you—”
“Shut up!” Dad bites out, and it’s so sharp and so unexpected that Ryland reels back like he’s been hit. His eyes fill with tears as he clutches his coat to his chest and trembles. Dad just glares past the dusty dashboard like the windshield is insulting him.
They used to squeeze all three of them into this truck and go places. The lake, or cutting down Christmas trees, bedecked in itchy sweaters and rosy cheeks and belting carols at the top of their lungs. Laughing, talking, pointing out the view. The silence now is crushing. He’s pretty sure they’re going too fast.
.
.
“Who was it?” Dad demands in a low voice, something wild and growling. “Who else in your family has it?”
Mom shakes her head frantically, eyes wide, her whole posture shrinking away from him. “My Uncle March is, but—”
“And you didn’t think to tell me?”
“We don’t talk to him. It skips — you know it skips. Nobody on our side showed any signs. We thought we were clean.”
“But there was always a chance—”
“There was no guarantee he’d even show it—”
“Clearly he does!”
“We couldn’t have known!” Mom repeats with a desperate note in her voice.
“You know how I feel about those people.”
“Okay— okay, we can figure this out.”
“Now we have one in our home — under our roof.”
“He’s your son! He is still your son!”
“My son wouldn’t be some vermin!” he spits with a venom so acidic it makes her withdraw.
.
.
Dad always knew his kid had more smarts than talent. He’d never be a football scholarship, but he might be a doctor or a scientist or something, the kind of genius who’d end up important. He couldn’t really relate to his kid about it but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to support it. Ryland understood some of this. Dad could be so serious it got intense, but Ryland always had the general sense that he was being looked out for. Dad would tell him to stop crying so much, but would also take him to ballgames and even let him fail at helping with the car. He’d get him those radio kits that you can take apart and put back together, and put him through science camp and space camp and eco camp and any other STEM camp out there. Sometimes they would take a drive in Dad’s pickup truck, and Dad would give him advice on facing his bullies, or life in general. A drive alone in the truck was usually a bonding experience for both of them. It was where they’d really talk about stuff. Sometimes they’d even stop for ice cream after a particularly bad day. Sure, he never said things like ‘I love you,’ but he didn’t have to do the things he did and Ryland always felt safe when he was around.
.
.
“Get out of the car.” It’s the first thing Dad has said since they pulled out of the driveway. His voice is quiet, but there’s something about it that makes Ryland’s stomach churn, like a growl in the shadows.
They’re parked in the woods. The engine idles, setting off the usual rattle in the back Dad’s never quite been able to fix. Ryland doesn’t move. What is happening? He doesn’t understand. Nothing makes sense anymore. He doesn’t know what to do. Maybe if he just sits there and does nothing, they’ll just move on like this never happened. They’ll drive home and go back to how things were. If he just waits, the problem will go away.
Dad reaches across the seat and gives him a rough shove. “Get out or I’ll drag you out!”
Ryland shrinks away from him. Dad has never acted like this, and he can’t figure out why he’s doing this. The man he always looked up to, who always protected him and taught him, seems to have turned into a complete stranger somehow. It’s like Ryland doesn’t even know him. Horrified tears stream down his cheeks as he unlatches the door and scrambles out into the snow. His slippered feet barely touch the ground before the truck revs and takes off, passenger door slamming shut as it speeds away. He screams after it, begging his father not to leave, but the truck disappears, and the sound of it fades moments later, and Ryland is alone in the woods. His panicked wails echo off the trees, but no one answers.
.
.
He waits there, clinging to the desperate hope that this is just some kind of test or punishment and Dad will be back. He huddles, shivering and tearstained and exhausted. He cries, he prays, he panics, and he waits.
An hour later, he hears the crunch of tires on gravel. It’s Mom’s little red Saturn. She flings her door open and they rush toward each other, clinging tight. She looks even worse than this morning, her eyes puffy and red, the bags so dark under her eyes they look like bruises, her hair a crumpled mess like she’d been tearing at it. He sobs in her arms, and she sobs in his.
By the time they get home, Dad’s truck is gone and so are all of his things.
It’s just the two of them after that. Mom goes back to her maiden name and they are called Grace from then on. A name that means ‘mercy.’
.
.
“Grace okay. Grace safe. Rocky here,” the translated voice cuts through the memory.
I wipe the tears off my face, but they don’t stop coming. I try to laugh through it, but it sounds too close to a sob. “Kinda seems like my destiny to be abandoned alone somewhere to die. Whether it’s the woods or space.”
“But Grace not alone, and Grace not die,” Rocky says with conviction, the chords of his voice almost overwhelming the computer speakers. “First parent bad bad bad. Second parent come find. Grace not alone. Stratt send Grace away, bad. Rocky come find. Grace not alone. Grace destiny to meet Rocky and save stars and never be alone. Rocky is glad Grace here.”
Sue me, I’m already a wreck from that memory and Rocky knows how to snipe my emotions with surgical precision. I cry harder. Part grief for my younger self, part grief for my older self, and part relief that Rocky is here and I’m not alone and unwanted, that the fox thing hasn’t changed anything between us and he takes me as I am, and it’s enough.
Crazy how “grief” and “relief” are such similar words. If I was an entomologist I’d know how they’re related. …Hold on, I think that’s the bug one.
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omg yesss like I appreciate that the fandom has grown and that ryan gets all this support, but like GOD im tired of seeing that youtuber in the phm tag im tired of seeing every character in other movie's tags and im tired of people complaining about shipping because "theyre actually brothers!!"
it feels like the newer fans tend to be on the younger side? and its affecting fandom and tagging etiquette
All of this! Like, hooray new blood in the fandoms! Hooray more people consuming other rg media! Please appreciate them for what they are and not just how you can shove them together with other media! It's like shipping for the purpose of shipping, but it's the movies themselves that are getting shipped lol.
The amount of said YouTuber that is also in the Barbie tag now? From something that is not I.ron L.ung at least but. Please stop.
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not a good person but not a bad person either. I can be a bitch but I’m very kind too. I’ll just never be as kind as I wish I was, but also not as bad as I fear I am
I miss the days when the gosling-verse was an inside joke we did to wink at one another across the aisles. Now it's taken over everything and I can't find actual fic anymore
