Now That’s Two Stones With One Bird

i feel like we’re all a little bit too used to living in a world where elephants exist. what do you MEAN they do all that shit with their nose

I love the word "beeline." youre in such a hurry youre doing bug movement

so awesome that you can see something new come out and think wow that looks bad and then never watch it and keep living

happy decade to the horrible beast i have wrought

I'm playing correspondence chess with my brother and don't feel like making a move tonight but wanted to make sure I did it tomorrow, so I wrote "move against brother" in my TODO list before realizing that sounds kind of insane.

#AncientPrinceProblems

girl will suffer unearthly tragedies and still run errands the same day with a smile on their face but if a mans parents divorce when he is 12 he will unleash his wrath on the world for the rest of his life

guy on a work call just accidentally said “have a nice freak-end” instead of weekend and now i desperately want that to be the new meme. have a nice freakend everybody

im inviting you to my birthday dinner to talk about sucking dick and cock

[ID: A screenshot of a message by Dingding Queen of Right. It reads: Creators shouldn’t be forced to choose between Mature 18+ Adults Only Minors DNI or Sfw Suitable For Six Month Olds content from the very moment they start creating and then be forced to stick to that forever. End ID]

Trying somno but we both fall fast asleep expecting the other to do something and end up both having a beautiful nights rest

the thing about mothers in fiction is that a lot of fandoms seem to be under the impression that the worst thing a woman can possibly do is be a bad mother. like they can forgive deadbeat dads easily but the moment a woman is a bad or even mediocre mother she's the devil incarnate to them. and then you're like "i like her and i think she's interesting" and they immediately go "oh so you think it's okay to be a bad mother (which is the most evil thing a woman can be)". and don't even get me started on how they react to female characters who are bad stepmothers

the funniest part of that classic ‘39 year old reylo is harassed by An Anti in public’ fake story is how like, yeah it obviously is an imaginary scenario of them Owning someone but they didnt even have it be a situation where it was like, evenly matched. like this 39 year old woman’s power fantasy involves them roasting a middle schooler. WITH the help of said middleschoolers mother