gempisces

To whoever is reading this !

It's definitely been a while. A girl is in college now, and has been through some nice ass changes lol.

Lately, i've been trying to find some things to keep me occupied while I'm out of school for my lil break. So far, kinda unsuccessful but in my defense I gotta take my time with this.

I've had a first boyfriend and a now a ex, but honestly as a 18 year old black girl, I'm living life and its completely normal (no matter how many people are different on that aspect). I even have a lil signature makeup look! which was really unexpected cause I be just messing around sometimes.

I've been growing to love my natural 4c hair! She is no longer a cookie bush and has some nice length to her (thankfully). Being on tiktok really put into perspective how many people truly hate their hair. It's sad that 4c hair is potrayed as being the worst of the worst when really you just gotta take care of it like any other.

On another note, Tiny desk concerts have become my new favorite things to listen to as like background music for my days. I've definitely been going down the rabbit hole because who was gonna tell me that they had Ari Lennox, Tyler the creator, AND Doechii !!!

I've definitely used TDC (tiny desk concerts) as a way to feel better about myself and my own individuality as a black woman. Cause learning to love my natural hair was definitely a small challenge. Now, I can't help but love my hair. Likeeee yeah she can get nappy but hey the stuff I can do with her makes me like light up.

I never even knew I could really make my hair lay down if I needed her to but I know now lol.

Ima cut this off for now cause I could type on for days about how this year is (no lie lmao).

So since July 1st, I’m glad to say I’ve been chilling. I, for one, have put the phone down on even trying by to write (cuz a girl can’t)

But during the summer I’ve 1. Changed jobs, 2. I shaved the ends of my eyebrows off (and it’s giving). So far I can’t lie, I’ve been enjoying summer, had some personal family shit fucking me over too though at first. But thankfully I got through it, just barely thanks to my good ole friends.

Ever since all of that I’ve been chilling and relaxing cause this is the last month before school. About like 3 days ago I had a self improvement moment (at one in the morning) as I scrolled on TikTok. It went from makeup, to fashion, and then to like personal scents and just shit that’ll make me feel good. On tiktoker I have been watching is @b_clasyy, and let me tell y’all (if there is a y’all) her videos have definitely made me want to turn my lil shit show of a life around.

Since Monday of this week, I’ve been doing a Pilates routine and it feels so refreshing. After doing a 20 min video of the pilates I like to check on the progress. And when I recorded the video, my stomach was flatter and definitely was more toned. Now I’m a lanky and kinda skinny girl but I still have unwanted fat on my body ! I even got me a lil pink workout mat to really feel involved.

I never realized it but I feel like honestly my vision board (that I made like a good 2 months ago I think) is lowkey coming into place. I’m probably gonna redo it for the end of this year since now I’m a senior in hs and stuff.

I’ve been trying to push down the feeling and yknow not let it take over but damn. I just want a boyfriend. Now currently I’m the only single one of my trio, and like I’m really glad that my friends are happy. Some time during like Valentine’s Day, I felt soooo like unhappy with the fact that like I couldn’t ever seem to get anybody. I don’t have talking stages or anything like that. Skip to now and I’ve accepted it a lot better, so now I’m focusing on myself. Cause I can’t lie I wanna meet my husband. Fuck a boyfriend.

I ain’t gonna be having no time to hop around in relationships and shit, plus it’s not my type of thing anyways. But besides that, Tiktok has def filled my delulu a bit more. All this weekend my for you page was filled with like tarot readings (cause I fuck with that type of stuff and all) and messages saying stuff about someone is like stalking my social media, and they wanna be in a relationship and shit. But

I’m a damned introvert. And if they is, I’ll just have to take the spot which I can do.