Shining Hero: Can't Stop Twinkling

                                   𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟 𝕕𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕘𝕖𝕟𝕥 + 𝕥𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕘𝕖𝕣 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕧𝕪

                                                 𝓎𝓊𝑔𝒶 𝒶𝑜𝓎𝒶𝓂𝒶

he didn’t expect an answer, not really. & he felt bad for snooping like he was, using his senses to tell where the other was in his room, that he actually was in his room, sensing the little hitch in his breathing… the music volume rose, but he could still feel the footsteps the other took, then the click of the door locking….

he knew he shouldn’t be hurt by that; mikumo hurt yuga in the first place, he had no right… but he couldn’t help the way he felt. the way it burned him with shame, with a flame of pain in his chest, his heart…

his fists clench at his side, an attempt at quelling the tremble. mikumo swallowed nervously. his throat felt dry & tight.

 “i- i know—” the boy paused when his voice cracked & he swallowed again. his eye shut & he dipped his head, trying with his voice slightly louder, “i  know i don’t—i don’t deserve a sss-se-second cha-ance. i’m no- nn-not asking for- ff-for one, i juss’… i was wrong, yuga. i wass- was wrong. i was mean, i- i was horrible to you… i…”

he looked back, forced himself to look back in those muddled memories smeared around like played-with paint on a wall—the fear in yuga’s eyes, the way his voice was laced with anxiety yet concern for him, & yet…. & yet… mikumo’s lips pulled down, his bottom lip wobbling as tears danced in his eye. he sniffled. 

“i’m sorry. i know just my being here is-ss- is messing with you, m-mmaking you feel… feel bad… i shouldn’t be a hero, i… i hurt you, i could have hurt you mm-more, but i hurt you real bad & i never- nn-never in my life ever wanted that to-to happen, bu- but it did! & it’s my fff-fault, & i don’t think your quirk is broken! if- if anything…” say it. the tears fell without restraint. openly crying in front of yuga’s room, hoping his words would reach him, & if it didn’t & he wanted nothing to do with him, well… “if anything, mm-my quirk’s the broken one…!”

mikumo would leave ua if yuga so wanted to.

yuga pinched the doors lock between a finger and thumb. they didn’t need to hear a word out of mikumo’s mouth. they didn’t want to. no closure had been desired. nights of restless sleep be damned.

at the root of it all, mikumo was just as yuga expected. there was nothing that separated him from the other classmates. the ones who knew their quirk wasn’t one of a hero, a pathetic excuse for a power that was just as wrecked and hopeless as the rest of them. if they didn’t keep their mouths shut out of basic decency, or crack a joke on their behalf to make themselves feel better, then their words only carried pity. perhaps yuga was just as stupid as they thought to think mikumo was any different.

and perhaps they were even stupider to stand at the lock and listen. to stand shakily and so very angry at the door and for once be he who pitied. 

they pinched the lock between that finger and thumb. digits with painted nails having begun to chip off days earlier and never been bothered to repaint, despite there being so much time to do so. they never recalled being this breed of uselessness.

just as desired. not a word from mikumo’s voice carried. surely something was said, nothing wrong but nothing... there. one would think that was the best case scenario when yuga was so enraged. so desperate to keep trying to ignore him. but although not a single sentence reached their ears, a gentle thud against the door accompanied the french melody on an off-beat.

with finger and thumb gripping tightly to the lock, aoyama leaned their head against the plain door stripped of its lights. they were sure mikumo would hear it, even over the music.

Yuga refused to accept help, for whatever reason. Mezo hated this. He hated seeing his friend so clearly not okay, but still pushing himself to do better.

“No, Yuga-” Mezo cut himself off as the boy puked. He cringed at the sight, eyes immediately averting from the pile of sick. He was positive he had seen blood in it. Before the dupli-armed teen had the chance to recover, Yuga suddenly staggered forwards and braced himself against the taller. Mezo immediately reached over and put two hands on hands on either side of his shoulders. His remaining two hands went onto Yuga’s sides.

“Yuga, please. You’re pushing yourself too far. We need to go see Recovery Girl,” Mezo insisted, eyes wide with concern.

whether aoyama wished it or not, the supportive hands were welcomed by the shaking form. their stomach tensed, muscles somehow not used to the routine by now. yuga softened the grip on their companion as they allowed the final waves of nausea to subside.

“  non, mon coeur, i am fine... i swear to you i am.  “  their feet shifted in the dirt.  “  it is-  “  normal ?  “  -alright... it came out.  “

the taste in the back of their throat was sour and their teeth stung. there was an emptiness there that still burned, like firewood that was ashen to the core but continued to be lit ablaze again and again. though exhausted, and clearly so, yuga succeeded in their efforts to return the look in shoji’s face. at the very least present, if having by now sweat off half their concealer. shoji was here. they weren’t alone.

ah , that stung.

finally, mikumo turned to face his friend, his lips worrying though he looked desperate trying not to look emotional over it. he understood yuga’s desire not to share—there were certain things mikumo did not want his own friends to know either; but at the same time… 

 “why?” he found himself asking, eyes softening as his head turned to the side. “you… know you can… tell me anything?”

“  i know that i can, mon bonheur.  “  and as their lips pressed together to form the endearment did they feel the teeth chatter ever briefly.

“  je ne suis pas encore mal en point... ce n'est.. pas le moment de s'inquiéter.  “  they waved again. hastier. yuga wasn’t so daft as to play dumb. asking what sparked such concern would do nothing if not guilt them into an explanation. but that didn’t have to be tonight. not this conversation. there was still time, plenty of it.