.:.It's all just stardust.:.

Family. fucking. drama. UGH.

I have 2 older brothers, we’ll call them A, and T. They have never gotten along. I became close friends with my oldest brother A, because we have a lot in common and the things we don’t have in common we can agree to disagree on, most of the time. I was on okay terms with T growing up, we had more similar taste in music than A and I did, and often we were a bit more sensitive than A was, and we got a long because of that. Then T started using really hurtful and manipulative behavior to try and control me, it started with what you’d expect the “it’s either him or me” and turned very rapidly into “if you don’t do/ I don’t get what I want I’ll kill myself.” I tried my very best to be compassionate towards T and his depression, but it got to the point where he was only depressed when it was convenient for his point to be made. This lead to some very bad blood between A & T because A didn’t like seeing my mom or me being manipulated with something so hurtful. A said some really mean shit to T, I don’t deny it, even when someone has been using it as a manipulative tool its never the right thing to do to tell someone to go kill themselves.

 My parents are really great people, my mom especially is an angel but they really flopped on the whole actions/consequences/discipline aspect of having children. And T got everything he ever wanted as far as material possessions go by threatening suicide if my parents tried to tell him no. From his very first car being a BMW convertible, to his next car being a brand new Subaru, to later on in life the family rent property (a property that previously was being used to pay for family vacations or family bills) now being solely his.

There has been a lot of increasingly bitter exchanges between me and T over the years because he is extremely obsessive and can not let go of the past. It eventually got to the point where I had to block him on everything and his phone number too. He couldn’t talk to me without screaming at me about A. He became the type of person that only ever calls you when they need something from you or to scream a hate sermon about how much A is ruining all of our lives. 

I could give you a long list of cause/effect events that happened to make the relationship between my brothers so sour, but none of it really matters, it’s all in the past, and we should all be able to move on from it.. but we can’t.. A has apologized to T, and it has never been good enough for T. Now every. single. thing. that goes wrong in T’s life is A’s fault. Someone snuck into the garage and stole tires and an old Norton motorcycle of my dad’s that was being stored there. T automatically assumes it’s A even though there is absolutely NO reason for A to have stolen it or to have broken into the garage considering he has a key... this is the latest event to have “happened” that really triggered T and it’s not even real...I asked A point blank when I could look him in the eyes if he did it and he told me no. I believe A because A hates lying with a fiery passion, and he has also never intentionally lied to me, T has, many times, very intentionally lied to me. T likes to tell me that we pushed him out of the family and that I am A’s little puppet, or that I have my head up A’s ass. T stopped coming to family events even though he is invited. He was late/drunk to my mom’s bdays the 2 years he did show up before that. So how is it that I/we pushed him away? T is obsessed with material things and FB friends/likes and likes to tout how many friends he has on there as some great accomplishment or accolade to his “outstanding character.” A would give you the shirt off his back just because you said you liked it, and literally hates FB with every fiber of his being. T frequently puts A on public blast on FB, a platform where they share many mutual friends due to them going to high school together and being only 19 months a part in age. And not just like generic vague shit posts like “ugh, family drama” or “ugh hate my brother” but like serious misinformation and vile accusations like the time he accused A and my mom of incest (pardon me while I go vomit.) One of T’s favorite go to lines when shit posting A is how A is “living in his parents house” even though A was given the house by my parents to rent out spare rooms since they moved out of town. Also ironic that he uses this as a major picking point considering if you managed to make it through the previous paragraphs you know that he too lives in a house that was purchased by his parents...

T is so disrespectful to my mom, someone who would literally die to make her children’s lives better, and with the stress T causes her... I just... It’s so hard to listen to him talk to her or hear about the things he says to her. She is just so kind she doesn’t deserve it. We were raised to believe that ACTIONS speak LOUDER than WORDS. But that was lost on T. He really thinks he was abused as a child... I know A said some really hurtful stuff to T, and maybe even wasn’t there emotionally a time or 2 that T needed him. But A has always been there for T, for all of us. I could get in a screaming match with A about anything and call him 2 mins later and tell him I needed his help and he’d be there, probably still bitching at me, but he’d be there in a heartbeat. T doesn’t even know what he wants. Nothing makes it better to him. He just wants A to die or something idk... T just doesn’t understand the issues he causes and while like I said A has said some really hurtful things to T, T has done some very hurtful things to A and T has never admitted, or even comprehended that he has. T thinks he is a blameless victim of A torturing him his whole life.

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