After surviving the Killing Curse for the second time and ending the war by killing Voldemort, Harry knew that his life was going to change. He had willfully hoped for the better, hoped that he’d feel better. But he doesn’t.
He barely feels anything at all. Most days, he simply floats through life, like a ghost of his former self, forever trapped and unsatisfied. Stuck in the past while everybody else moves forward. All because of that little sliver of a soul, once attached to Harry’s own, that ripped apart his whole world when he left it in that place between existing and nothing. When he killed it.
Sue him, he’d gotten attached to the little thing. He misses it.
He wants it back.
Is that really so bad, to want it back— to do whatever it takes to do so?
its a harrymort fanfiction that starts after the war ends, includes some good ol time-travel master of death fuckery, a lot of introspection, angst, and worldbuilding
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Grace is having a similar problem to Rocky, Rocky cannot seem to just give Grace his full attention sometimes which is fine mostly but.. well. Grace is a little greedy and a little bored, and one day he’s rummaging around in the storage area, opening boxes he’s never opened before and he finds..
A dog whistle!!
He almost goes to blow on it experimentally but then he pauses.
This is a brilliant scientific opportunity!!
Grace has about a million thoughts at once but it all boils down to this: Can Eridians be trained to react positively to certain sounds?
He knows it’s not exactly the mosttt ethical but. He’s so bored
Grace is immediately plotting, he hides the whistle in his pocket amongst other junk so that Rocky can’t make out what it is but then he realises he can’t just pull it out, it’s not like he can hide it anyway so instead he shows it to Rocky vaguely under the excuse it’s a human instrument yada yada
Rocky isn’t really interested after five ish minutes, and Grace is ecstatic!! He can begin his experiment!!
Rocky is on his side of the bedroom, working on something while Grace talks to him and Grace mentions something he knows will peak Rocky’s interest. The moment Rocky stops what he’s doing and faces Grace, Grace blows on the whistle very lightly and says “thanks, bud!”
Rocky shivers for a moment and Grace is confused, does the sound hurt Rocky?? Before he can ask Rocky says “how Grace make Eridian sound??”
Grace fumbles, and blurts out “human instrument, remember? Don’t worry about it.” Rocky somehow makes a gesture that gives Grace “furrowed eyebrows” feeling, but Rocky drops it and Grace figuratively breathes a sigh of relief.
And so he continues on with his experiment, after awhile it’s not just when Rocky turns his attention to Grace, he’ll do it after Rocky does something favourable at ALL (turning his attention to Grace, helping Grace with something, etc)
Grace choosing his method of reward to be praise because well, Rocky is a sucker for it even if he won’t admit it/take the compliment. And more importantly, whenever Grace praises him he’ll usually react in someway (happy trilling, jazz hands) and that’s EXACTLY what he wants!! The response shows whether or not the experiment worked after all.
Rocky is a bit suspicious of Grace, he has a feeling that maybe Grace has caught onto his own evil doings (see post above) but well. He’s not exactly complaining.
After about a week or two of this, Grace decides to finally end this and test it out!! He’s too excited to wait any longer.
Rocky was just sitting idly when Grace blew the whistle, and as Grace expected Rocky bounces for a moment, trilling like Grace just said something particularly nice before pausing and glaring at Grace.
“Grace tricked Rocky!!” He fumes, and Grace immediately bursts into laughter, dropping the whistle by his side and curling up in his bed from how hard he’s laughing.
“I knew- I knew it would work!!” Grace struggles to say in his fit of laughter
“Grace do this for revenge?? When did Grace figure it out?!” Rocky demands, stomping his foot in question.
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digital selfharm is real. do NOT check up on that ex-partner/ex-friend. do NOT reread those old messages/conversations that you know will hurt your feelings all over again or that will otherwise make you feel like shit. do NOT block evade to see if you’re being talked about. inhale. exhale. let it pass and you’ll be better for it.
Several years ago I briefly worked in the warehouse of a nondescript extremely large e-commerce company. I had no other options for employment but desperately needed money. Turnover was like 150%. I worked from something like 7pm to 5am, my commute was 50 minutes each way and before I got paid I didn’t even have the cash for enough gas to get home one night and had to bum $10 off of my kid sibling (this is all to give you an idea of my abysmal mental state while employed here.) You’re not allowed to do anything besides your job, no music or anything and they track your movement on cameras so you can’t even take a breather. The job is real monotonous, you get sent boxes of items of random sizes and you have to put the items into shelves of varying sizes and the shelves come to you, you don’t walk to them. Because the company tracks the rate at which you put items on these shelves, many small items are desirable because you can put a lot of them in quickly. Everything about the place seems almost designed intentionally to break you mentally and turn you into a robot. So I’m about 6 or 7 hours into my shift, feeling on the verge of a mental collapse, and up comes a container with a bunch of small white boxes, bout half the size of a deck of cards. No labels. Great, I’m already happy about whatever these things are. So I go to scan them in, and it gives you the name of the item and a little picture. Sasuke Penis Costume. What? Sasuke Penis Costume. A picture of that red cloud robe from Naruto and one of the headbands with the metal plate on it. I’m thinking, there’s no way. What is a penis costume? Am I hallucinating this? And there’s so many of them, literally about a hundred, and I know I’m going to be spending at least an hour with Sasuke Penis Costume, there’s so many and they’re so small, I’m already excited about the potential efficiency of these, and then I see it’s Sasuke Penis Costume? So the entire shift I’m like, trying to not put these things away too quick, because honestly I’m starting to build a kind of kinship with them. This is quite literally the most exciting thing to happen to me during my whole 2 week employment at the warehouse. I started to see Sasuke Penis Costume as a friend, some reminder of the outside world, a reminder of the humanity I was becoming so unfamiliar with, a reminder the world contained comedy, art, anime, and penis. I really couldn’t tell you if I ended up putting all of them away, the last thing I remember is my desperate need to look these items up when I got home. I needed a link to send to my friends for when I told them this riveting story. I learned that the costume is called the Akatsuki cloak in my fervent search for the item, and wouldn’t you know it, absolutely zero trace of these things exists online. Not on the e-commerce website, not on any specialized penis-costume websites (whose existence I was not privvy to prior to this incident) and no third-party retailer has these. Not even Google images will show me the hypothetical existence of Sasuke Penis Costume. Every few months I look it up, trying to find evidence that it can be bought, that any of this was ever real. My bond, my friendship, and dare I say even love for Sasuke Penis Costume feels as tangible as the boxes they came in, and yet the universe will give me no closure of their fate. Less and less frequently I search for them, each time becoming more and more discouraged that I will ever find them, but unlike their substance on this earth, one thing is inarguably certain. Sasuke Penis Costume exists to me, and it will live on firmly and resolutely within my memory and within my heart.
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Rocky clicker training Grace without Grace knowing..
When Rocky discovers how humans can just.. tune people out he is shocked and more importantly very annoyed because he’ll try to get Grace’s attention and half the time he’s just nodding along or just doesn’t answer while he’s doing something
So one day Grace is doing just that, barely nodding along while doing something on the laptop and Rocky has a thought; “loud noises wake up humans while they’re sleeping, could they also be used to snap them into focus?” Rocky tests his hypothesis with a loud whistle, and to Rocky’s utter delight Grace immediately snaps his head up and looks at Rocky with a confused expression.
So he starts using it when he wants Grace’s attention, repeating that same exact whistle with perfect volume and pitch, at first Grace is a bit annoyed but he usually forgets about it when Rocky starts talking, but slowly over time there’s barely a reaction, Infact, Grace starts reacting quicker and without thought.
Rocky, ever curious, sees if he can get Grace to associate other sounds with certain things. He’s sure it won’t work, but he’s bored out of his mind and well. For science!!
So whenever Grace eats, Rocky will make a barely audible clicking sound before hand and Grace doesn’t notice, after a week or two of this Rocky decides to test it out
So when Grace inevitably forgets to eat one day, instead of Rocky annoying Grace into doing it, he just does the clicking sound, he doesnt expect it to actually do anything but low and behold a moment later Grace looks up and says “huh. Hey Rocky I might take a break and go eat, wanna come?”
Rocky has to do everything in his power not to cackle evilly with his new found power
Edit: there’s a Grace follow up now. What am I doing with my life.
I once watched a girl in the produce aisle pick up a bushel of bananas that were precariously perched on the edge and move them farther back and under her breath she said “there you go sweeties - that will be more comfortable” before shuffling off and… I think about her often.
I was driving on the highway and passed a dude absolutely JAMMING alone in his car, doing those little half dance moves you do when you’re stuck sitting down in a small space, bellowing unheard lyrics at the top of his lungs, and my instant reaction was to think “I love you.” And then to pray he had a good day, or whatever, because those fleeting moments of connection are so incredible.
my actual vampire hot take is that if you're going to be a 'vegetarian' vampire (a vampire that only drinks the blood of animals) you MUST have hunter education. i'm so sick of people being like oh well predator animals are mean and scary because they kill cute 'harmless' animals like NO they're crucial for the environment and if you're going to hunt animals for blood you still need to stick to regular people hunting guidelines and only hunt things that are in season and abide by your areas bag limits
vampire that did a detailed study about whether vampires can get prion diseases and concluded they can't and preferentially hunts animals with chronic wasting disease. and then incinerates the corpses.
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