𝐒 𝐓 𝐀 𝐓 𝐔 𝐄 𝐒 𝐐 𝐔 𝐄 .

you're  the  thorn  on  a  rose  ,  the prick  of  a  needle  they  thought  they'd  secured  ,  the  storm  they  thought  was  just  a drizzle ; you're unaccounted  for  ,  overlooked  ,  they  forget  so  foolishly that  you  have  violence  in  your  veins  and  that  counts  for something  .  you're  grace ,  you're whispers  ,  you're  seeing  the  life  you  longed  for  slip  through  your  fingers  but  moving  forward .  toughness  is  subtle  but  it's  your  gospel  ,  shadows  are  your  friends  because  it's  easier  to  win  when  they  don't  see  you :  you're  the  girl  who  wanted  everything  but  drew  the  short  straw  of  life  and  ended  up  with nothing but  what  they  made  of  you  .  you  stand  by  the  doorstep  and  listen  . they  keep  talking  .  they  wish  they  hadn’t  .  .  .

perdue  ,  cashmere  .

(  victor  ,  district one  ,  twenty-four   )

the kids showed promise — they always did , of course , the academy made sure that they all left perfectly capable of leaving the arena . . . in theory . it had been enough time and enough turns around the block for cashmere to know that some tributes would never become victors , no matter how well they wielded weapons , and some years she knew she was undoubtedly returning home with closed caskets . this year , she wasn't so sure — silver had asked her for private training , and while cash could definitely compliment her training , it had been the questions she'd been asked that struck her — something about her tribute's curiosity was hopeful . aware of her advantages , but not prideful enough to think herself the best would be cash's assessment . she stopped at one to drop silver off and grab a drink , making her way up to the rooftop still in her workout gear — there was no such thing as privacy in the training center , but by god they really made sure you remembered they were always watching . listening . at least up here in the slight breeze and the windchimes twinkling , she could sit and breathe and pretend she was afforded luxuries like solitude. cash stiffened when the door opened , relaxing slowly when she saw the person entering , lifting her singular glass in greeting . " late night ? "

running in circles playing pretend was exhausting , and right about now cashmere was dreaming of a warm bath and a moment to rest before the hell of the next few weeks started : the parade was stressful for everyone , the week of training the tributes and prepping them for interviews was worse ( and if she was unlucky , she'd get roped into doing a victor special with caesar again ) , and by the time the countdown started she knew she'd barely eat or sleep until she either had a victor to console or coffins to present back in district one . the thought weighed on her , it always did , and she'd just managed to stop for a moment to eat a bite of food when someone caught her attention . there was really no reason for cash to be surprised — everyone who was anyone ( or adjacent ) ended up at these parties and cressida was definitely a part of that circle , but it was always odd to watch someone else in this environment . the last time they'd seen each other had been a little more than two weeks ago , and the slight shame cash always felt when she showed up at her doorstep was pushed aside as it always was — there was no point in dwelling on the harder nights , not now . instead she piled some more macaroons on her plate and made her way over , a genuine smile on her lips as she approached . " you look like you're having fun . macaroon ? " she really didn't , but neither was cash and wasn't that always the punchline ?

no victor enjoyed these parties — some could let that show on their faces , could take a page from chaff and haymitch's books and take a seat at the bar for hours ( how anyone was going to drag them both back to the tribute center was beyond her ) ignoring the world . cashmere didn't have that luxury , it was imperative that these people thought she was having the time of her life catering to their excitement , and so she did rounds . she greeted sponsors both old and new , engaged in mind numbing conversations with those considered capitol royalty , kissed cheeks and batted eyelashes until there were only a few left — effie trinket had ended up at the bottom of her list , but she was on it nonetheless . truth be told , cash didn't dislike effie — she was pleasant enough , seemed kind even if a bit disconnected from reality : of this specific brand of capitolite , she was one of the good ones , and it didn't pain the blonde too much to approach her , champagne in hand and a bright smile on her face . " effie , darling, has it been a year already ? you look lovely . "

you'd think finding her brother in a contained space would be relatively easy — he wasn't a small man by any means , and there was only so many places he could be . alas , she'd done two rounds of the party , been locked in about ten conversations she hadn't wanted to have , and she still hadn't found him — it meant she had to turn to the next plan , which was to repeat " my darling , excuse me , have you seen my brother ? " until she was pointed in his general direction . it still took far more work than she'd hoped , and by the time cash reached him , gloss was handed a fresh glass of champagne and given a subtle elbow on his side , a frustrated huff escaping her before she could stop herself . " i swear i've seen everyone in here three times over in the time it took me to find you . junius trent — the son , not the old man — wants to see us after the parade , i told him we couldn't finalize anything but he's insistent . apparently he liked the kids . " the plastic smile stuck to her face and the cheerful tone to her voice were perfectly manufactured , and her glass of champagne was finished and placed on a moving tray as she turned to face him — hands moving to straighten his shirt in an attempt to calm herself . junius was the sort of sponsor that she didn't entirely trust , and that was why keeping him close was important . but fuck , she hated it . " how's your night been ? "

" well , yes , but unless you want to argue with her and be given a speech on the subtlety of colours , i'll just take her word for it . " it wasn't particularly polite for her to lean against the wall the way she was , leaning her perfectly styled hair against the cool stone and allowing herself a moment to relax , but cashmere was sure president snow wouldn't come running from his cosy little mansion to scold her — as long as she played pretty for the cameras , she was safe . it didn't mean she — they — didn't have to watch their words even here , but the illusion of isolation soothed her enough that her shoulders lost a bit of their tenseness . " i lost gloss hours ago , the sponsors are ruthless this year and we haven't even started , i think they're trying to recoup their losses from last year . " savoring the champagne , cash merely nodded sparing a glance at the wild rush of people inside before she continued . " mine are good this year , they've got the spirit — the girl , silver , reminds me of myself . might just make it to the end , but we'll see . " the shrug would seem perfectly unaffected if it wasn't for the tiredness in the blonde's eyes — the games were hard on them all , mentors or no , and cash particularly hated years where the female tributes took her back to the past , to a time where she'd been a stupid girl with too much hope and too little experience . the talk of olives pulled her from the depths of her own mind before she allowed herself to go down roads she'd stay in for hours , instead laughing at the idea of enobaria being presented with them , a slow amused smirk spreading on her lips . " see , no one ever gives me olives , i resent that . but i can work with that , we can use them as a focal point for the dish — god knows i'll need the sustenance for the parade . if tonight's any indication , all mentors will be screwed tomorrow . "

"  you'd  think  she  had  ,  but  i  asked  and  according  to  her  it  was  the  farthest  thing  from  orange  last  year  —  it  was  tangerine  .  "  there's  honey  in  cashmere's  voice  ,  a  sweetness  that  coats  her  tongue  when  she's  in  events  and  around  people  that  expect  her  to  be  a  caricature  of  herself  —  but  there  also  an  edge  of  sarcasm  that  only  people  who  knew  her  as  well  as  enobaria  would  pick  up  .  "  i  bet  on  chartreuse  ,  so  i  guess  we're  both  in  the  red  tonight  .  "  she  sipped  her  champagne  and  led  them  with  surprising  ease  from  the  crowded  hall  onto  the  balcony  —  it  was  blissfully  empty  as  she  imagined  it  would  be  ,  all  the  action  was  inside  anyway  .  the  breath  of  fresh  air  was  much  needed  ,  and  although  she  knew  exactly  what  would  happen  she  still  lifted  a  hand  up  to  the  forcefield  ,  amused  in  an  incredibly  unfunny  way  that  it  was  here  too  .  "  how  is  brutus  ,  by  the  way?  i  haven't  seen  him  around  yet  .  "  the  blonde  paused  ,  turning  back  to  her  friend  and  sipping  some  more  of  her  flute  before  continuing  .  "  and  i'm  stopping  by  yours  tomorrow  ,  while  the  kids  are  prepped  .  i  haven't  treated  you  to  lunch  in  forever  .  "  it  wasn't  entirely  true  ,  they'd  had  lunch  not  too  long  ago  ,  but  before  spending  weeks  stuck  in  places  where  there  was  no  way  to  escape  the  mics  or  the  cameras  ,  she  needed  a  few  hours  stuck  in  her  friend's  bedroom  ,  eating  food  cooked  by  her  own  hands  .

even  after  all  these  years  ,  stepping  into  a  capitol  party  still  felt  like  travelling  into  another  dimension  —  not  the  food  that  had  been  worked  so  thoroughly  it  seemed  like  anything  but  ,  or  the  decorations  that  would've  been  pretty  ten  gold  details  ago  —  the  people  .  the  way  they  kept  their  eyes  on  victors  like  they  were  watching  both  prey  and  predator  ,  an  odd  mix  of  love  and  hate  and  awe  .  "  thank  you  .  "  the  shiver  up  her  spine  was  internal  and  the  glass  of  champagne  she  snapped  from  a  passing  tray  with  a  perfectly  manicured  hand  would  help  ,  rehearsed  smile  poised  on  her  lips  as  she  nodded  towards  the  woman  who  still  hadn't  stopped  talking  about  the  latest  capitol  gossip  .  "  my  darling  ,  i  can't  believe  all  of  that  happened  in  just  one  week  .  you'll  need  to  tell  me  the  details  soon  ,  but  i  believe  someone  needs  me  .  "  one  set  of  air  kisses  and  ten  goodbyes  later  ,  the  blonde  managed  to  escape  —  the  way  she  looped  her  arm  through  theirs  was  casual  ,  but  her  grip  was  tight  .  the  universal  victor  signal  for  '  let  me  stay  here  a  while  '  .  "  have  you  seen  the  dog  ?  it's  orange  this  year  .  "