watching my grandma die…. my mom crying “i just killed my mother. i killed my own mom” over and over… touching her dead moms abdomen and saying “i grew here”…. sure was something!!! sitting on the ground next to my grandmas body for hours. sure was something. and my moms dog died a week prior. can she catch a break : ) i have nobody i can say this to lol sry

it’s 4am and nobody is awake and i’m so so scared and it gets worse every hour

i’m so alone and nobody has energy for me anymore and i don’t blame them i’m just so alone. i want a hug so bad i want someone to make sure i’m okay and look after me life has never been so hard. i miss my brother and i miss my dad and i miss any chance i had at being happt and normal

having to work so hard to stay alive when you don’t even want to be alive is agony. i don’t want to pay rent i don’t want to eat i don’t want any of this i don’t even want to be here. why do i have to fill out so many forms and go to so many appointments when i don’t even want to be here

i hope i just die in my sleep so it’s not my fault and i can just finally have peace

i wish i was allowed to die i can’t take anymore but i can’t make my mom have two dead kids

when you’re in a crisis people are nice to you for 3 days max and then they want you GONE it’s funny. i don’t blame them like obviously i’m a miserable killjoy but lol

i hate my fucking life it’s actual literal agony no exaggeration i’m so fucking miserable 🤩🤩🤩 and i can’t say this to anyone because i’m losing friends for being a downer ! 🤩 and that’s making my life even worse 🤩 this is literally the only place i can say how i feel

i won’t kill myself btw i have to live for my mom and my surviving brother so don’t worry about me

my two best friends abandoned me now. i’m losing everything piece by piece just like i always worried i would. every day i unlock a deeper loneliness

it’s crazy how there actually is a way to make all my problems go away. literally everything i’ve ever worried about or struggled with it xould all be gone. there really is a way to solve it all at once and finally be done with it and be free from it. from anything and everything no matter how awful it is or how inescapable it feels. absolutely anything. i could make it stop

i’m so fucking miserable Nd it’s never going to change and nothing will ever fix it. all this suffering for what. it’s such a fucking waste. i literallt become a worse pwrson each day and i can’t stomach watching it unfold anymore

adhd is actually so tragic and deadly and i constantly worry abt who it will claim next. like how are any of us surviving this it’s so hard. people don’t even understand how hard it is. forever

getting what you want in life is actually the worst thing you could do…. like i fully understand celebrities killing themselves now. i’m in my favorite country and i just want to die. like i have everything and it’s not enough. it’ll never be enough. i’m sitting in a cafe in sweden thinking about how i’m still me and i’ll always be me and no amount of money or love or traveling is going to change that. it’s never going to get better than this and i’m absolutely miserable to my bones

i’m tired of people messaging me telling me they feel so bad for my brothers wife. like yeah obviously shes the one who has it the worst but what about me? he was my big brother. people act like that means nothing but it means everything to me. when i lost my dad everyone pitied me and yeah that sucked but this is a million times worse. i was never supposed to live without my brother. he raised me he made me who i am. i feel angry and protective of him when people gloss over the weight of his loss in my life. maybe they never had a sibling like him so they just dont understand. ive literally never known life without him until now. he was always there and now hes gone and every single thing leads back to him