all my friends are trash

If you are an LA oomf and going to be at dyke day tomorrow: hit my line and u will get a free hot dog and caprese sandwich

But only if you're so sweets and nice cuz I didn't make them

i think we should stop having "kink at pride" discourse and START having "kink at the 4th of july" discourse. for no reason other than that it would be very funny

good god when the mr clean magic eraser hits the stove......

the panties hit the floor

you know it brother

Cant tell you how many times I rawd*gged my husband after I caught him using a magic eraser to clean the pasta sauce I burned onto the burner like some kind of primordial insect

you know what i wish you would tell me

Official Monsterfucker Post

i support women's wrongs

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

dude star wars is so good and/or bad and/or mediocre sometimes, depending

Ohh so that's why they called that one show Andor

FUCK. honestly just FUCK. We missed a very important day yesterday.

what was yesterday, cat?

I’m not missing it this year.

my mind palace is mopped my astral hole is lubed and i'm ready for friday