Babey

i usually don't engage with booktok mockery because most of it is just elaborately feigning surprise that straight women can have kinks. but literally why the fuck is his job to destroy plastic

donald trump will die on july 20th 2025 at 1pm pacific standard time

like to charge reblog to cast

me: So then we take the liquified wood pulp, and dry it again, into these thin sheets. caveman: [confused, but trying to keep up] uh huh. me: And we take the graphite stick - it doesn't need to be wrapped in wood like this, but we like making them this way so you don't get graphite on your hands. And that's what we draw with. caveman: [eyes lighting up] Oohhh so you use the wood pulp sheets to paint on them, like hides? me: Exactly! And now, you could use this method to draw anything you can visualise with your mind's eye, but for the sake of this demonstration, let's draw a vision of a woman with features of an animal whose powers and traits she represents, and a figure that is stylised and exaggerated beyond what nature really allows. caveman: As wide as she is tall, with tits to match? me: Exactly. caveman: This is the only sensible use of this technology.

the truth of the “mating press” position that porn won’t prepare you for is that it’s really more of a farting press

Post: atheist youtubers are overdosing on deep rock galactic pussy me: not true Post: bunnies and cats are learning how to write in new language called US american cuneiform me: thats right

6 has three 2's which is a good amount but of a relatively smaller number, whereas 6 has two 3's, which is fewer, but 3 is a bigger number, so it really comes to about the same. so youve got options

The difference between my prodigal son and I is that he Needs to interfere in order to make every situation about him. Whereas I am already enmeshed in all things naturally

you believe me prodigal?

Notice how I could have meant any of my failed scions and he still rushed in all by himself. it hurts to see a hit dog holler so...

whore

malls are dying because they don't have blacksmith, apothecary, alehouse or peddler's

We must create dungeons that expand for miles under the earth and malls are the hub areas where warriors gather to venture deep beanth the surface for treasures yet discovered. It's the only way to save the economy.

👆It's is the only way to save the economy

I was about to pen “My moleskine is the new tumblr” in my little black book but I lost control of my hand and drew a complicated mandala that started an energy fire

President Biden... I've just learned that Microsoft Outlook is also being used by the Chinese Communist Party to spy on taxpaying American citizens please pass legislation to ban this dangerous software also while you still can

My conduct this year landed me on Santa Claus's fabled and controversial "Kill-at-all-Costs" List. Turns out the reason the big man and his people don't exercise that option more often is that they really aren't good at following through on it. Well outside their core competency. He's delegated to the elves, and they've got this ingrained assembly-line mindset that doesn't translate at all to the adaptable and fluid mindset needed for siege breaking. They just haven't adjusted their playbook at all from when they're doing rote deliveries. Armed Elves have been rappelling down my chimney one at a time into the roaring fire I've kept going nonstop for the last week. They haven't even thought to try my front door yet. Whole house smells like peppermint, which it turns out is what burnt elf meat smells like. Thought I was being super clever putting cyanide-laced almond milk out with the cookies as a last line of defense, but none of them have made it even the scant few feet to the side table where that's sitting. At the rate things are going the real danger is that I'm gonna forget what I did with that and accidentally drink it myself while I'm watching the show

you have no idea what we have going on