Mandy

“I don’t care as much if like- somebody points out that I have gained weight. It’s just something that makes my life better, the fact that I’m, you know.. I’m a size 6 instead of a size double zero. I mean, that— that wasn’t...how my body was supposed to be. I just didn’t really understand that at the time. I really don’t think I knew it.

If you’re thin enough, then you don’t have that [butt] that everybody wants. But if you have enough weight on you to have a [butt], then your stomach isn’t flat enough. It’s all just impossible.”

I’m sitting here on my couch in tears because this is the exact thing I’m currently dealing with. I have been hating myself for the past year because I have “become too fat.” Needing to buy all new pants because I went from a 0-2 to a 6 in a very short amount of time really has been hard on my self-esteem. I bought a smart scale that syncs to my phone so I have constant access to the number of times I weigh myself throughout the day. All my life I’ve been told I need to eat more, that I’m skin and bones, but in the last year it stopped. Now people point out I’ve gained weight after I stopped running. It’s known I can out-eat my boyfriend. It’s been really rough and knowing that Taylor too went through something very similar...I’m trying to find peace in the situation. I’m trying to accept myself and tell myself “this makes my life better,” because somehow this helped her come to an acceptance of herself.

Happy 30th birthday to my biggest role model, Taylor Swift.

Although we’ve never formally met, Taylor is one of the people I know I can count on most during the biggest moment of my life. She was there for me when I found love, through two very nasty breakups, the loss of loved ones, my first big move out on my own, graduating college twice, falling in and out of friendships, etc.

Ever since I listened to her music for the first time, I have been able to relate to Taylor’s music and big life events. I feel sometimes, that if we were to have grown up together, we would have been close friends. Our work ethic, love for cats, fear of being forgotten, and even our quirky and awkwardness are so similar it’s scary sometimes. Yes we both are both white American females with pale skin and bangs, who as people tell me often, have a slight resemblance...but I feel like we are connected in so many more ways than just that.

I’ve had this fear of turning 30 for a while now. I’ve felt as though I’m not enough of an adult to be 30. That I’m too goofy or not experienced enough on life to be able to handle being THAT much more of an adult. However, looking at how much Taylor has grown over the years and how uncertain she is with life, even with how successful she is, it gives me more of a piece of mind that’ll be okay. That’s the thing about Taylor, she gives all of us fans a piece of mind. She lets us know we’re not alone, and nothing that we feel is invalid. She brings us all together, in spite of our differences and makes us all feel like part of her team.

Thank you @walgreens

One of my students today basically dressed like the Lover album, and I couldn’t have been more proud.

Congrats @taylorswift and squad tonight on all your awards and recognitions! We love you! 💕

Ten years ago the mic was taken from her. She was never given the chance to tell her story. Today, she passed the mic to someone else, giving him the opportunity to share the spotlight and share his story. 😭

🖤 @taylorswift @taylornation 💙

Back in August of 2018, I decided to slip a little note to this guy I had been spending a lot of time with. I based the note around the Delicate music video where @taylorswift opens a strip of paper that leads her to finding happiness. I made a replica of the dress to wear to the tour in Detroit, and when Taylor floated above our heads, I asked the boy to be my boyfriend. He said yes.

I hope one day to share with Taylor how she’s been a huge part of my relationship.

I mean...

I can never thank The Swift Life for bringing one of my best friends into my life. @dontblamemedelicate Thank you for balancing out my crazy, even though Target security basically escorted us out. @taylorswift @taylornation @targetstyle

Indianapolis, IN September 15, 2018 🖤

Taylor has brought so many great things into my life, I can’t even begin to count. One of those things I am most thankful for, are the people she’s brought into my life. @dontblamemedelicate and @jec6603 both reached out to me, since I had been attending so many shows, and asked if there were any way we could all chip in and go to one last show together. As you can see, we managed.

Both @dontblamemedelicate and I rented a car and met @jec6603 half way to Indy, and we car pulled the remainder of the way. Being able to experience this one last hoorah with two ladies that I KNOW love Taylor as much as I do, made everything so worth it. Thank you @taylorswift for making this one of my most memorable summers yet!

@taylorswift @taylornation @jec6603 @jamieek10 @dontblamemedelicate

Detroit, MI August 28, 2018 🖤

Sooooo I met this guy, and he mentioned he wanted to see a Taylor concert. We bought tickets, started hanging out....one thing turned into another and now he’s my boyfriend.

Delicate will forever be my favorite song off rep, because it will always be the song that changed my life for the better. As Taylor stepped into her floating stage singing “isn’t it, isn’t it, isn’t it...delicate” I quickly passed a strip of paper with @taylorswift ‘s Delicate lyrics printed across the top to him. In the center read “will you be my boyfriend?” As soon as Taylor floated above our heads, he pulled me in close and shouted “yes.”

Being able to share this moment with Taylor, even though she may not have known she was part of this moment, will always be such a special memory to me. I hope she continues to be such a driving force in my relationship, and that one day I can share with her everything she’s done for me.

@taylorswift @taylornation

Tampa, FL August 14, 2018 🖤

My mom kept asking me why I was paying to see the same show over, and over, and over again. She asked why just listing to the CD wasn’t enough. I decided for Mother’s Day, I would buy her tickets to see the show, so she could experience everything Taylor at once, so she could understand.

Little did I know, this was my moms very first concert! She still talks about how close we were to Taylor. How you could feel the music moving through your body. The fireworks, the flames, the costumes and stages. I am proud to say I have not only solidified my mother as a @taylorswift fan, but I’m hoping I may have found a new concert buddy for the next tour!

@taylorswift @taylornation

Pittsburgh, PA August 7, 2018 🖤

@dontblamemedelicate and I have been getting closer ever since we met on TSL (The Swift Life). We have met a few times outside of Taylor-related events, however we couldn’t resist going to a show together and making our own outfits!

We got so lucky before the show and got to meet Paul (one of Taylor’s guitarists), and he even signed my bracelet and her tour program! I’m not sure if I could ever see this show enough, because I’m three shows in and I am convinced it’s still not enough!

@taylorswift @taylornation @jec6603 @jamieek10 @dontblamemedelicate

Cleveland, OH July 17, 2018 🖤

With show one under my belt, I was ready for round 2! I told myself that since I watched most of the show behind the lens of my camera in Columbus, I would watch the show on my own and refrain from snapping photos the whole concert this time around. Well that lasted less than 5 minutes. I feel like every show of this tour is a bit different. With the mystery song on B stage and the changing outfits, I was too afraid I would miss something good.

Since Red is one of my favorite eras. I decided to replicate one of Taylor’s costumes from the Red tour. Although I was SUPER proud of how it turned out, being August in Cleveland, the jacket and skinny jeans maaaaaay not have been the best wardrobe decision I have made.

@taylorswift @taylornation