Gaudicadas

Where cars are parked orderly and in reverse

Where fruits can be cubes

Where people keep left

And lamps have different brightness for double beds

People queue up in lines

Applies to stickers too

Where what you get is the same as the poster

you get waved goodbye..?

Relieving both mind and body

Yup.

Smooth train operator

No embarrassing knocking or barging into rooms to check out if they are occupied

When you need an extra hand

For the selfiestas

Brolly holders

Because normal manhole covers are too mainstream

Think diagonal

And anytime u need to soak your feet

Where you raise responsible adults, not brats

And luggage is organised in color codes

When you need help after the condom broke

Instant sanitary gratification

Why they are so welcome at football matches

Where water is that clean in the drains

Nuff said

One thing that should be understood is this client has limited vision and uses a screen reader.

Client: my friends say it looks good but when I go on it I see a combo box. I don’t want that combo box.

Me: What do you mean by combo box?

Client: The combo box. It’s right there! I don’t like it.

I did some research and found that this was her screen reader’s name for a drop-down menu. It came up whenever that particular theme had to be shrunk down to a 640 by 480 screen size.

Client: Get rid of it.

Me: Honestly, I’m not sure how to remove that, but it shouldn’t be a problem because no one is going to see this drop-down menu unless they use the screen resolution you do, which is VERY uncommon these days.  

Client: But I see it, and I hate it. Get rid of it.

Since she wouldn’t be moved, I found a theme that didn’t look nearly as nice, but didn’t create a drop-down menu for the main topics when it resized which got rid of the “combo box.”

She was about to approve the site but had another complaint.

Client: I don’t want the site to say index. Why does it say index? It’s a website. I want it to say website.

Me: (thinking it was her screen reader again) Where do you see that?

Client: At the top.

After some back and forth, I figured out she meant the URL.

Me: That’s the way the internet is structured. The main page on a site will often have a URL ending in “index.” That’s perfectly normal.

Client: I don’t want it to say index. It needs to say website.

So now her site address says “http://clientsitenamehere/website.”

Me: Do we do… lemonade?

Client: Yes, I was told you do that here.

Me: I’m sorry, this is a graphics and print shop.

Client: I know that. I’m not an idiot. 

Me: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to -  

Client: Look If you can’t lemonade these papers for me then I’ll go somewhere else!