Smoldering Wings

The way the crew usual way of coming up with a story was to think of some normal situation and then add something magical and crazy. “Sock Opera” was used as the example: first they came up with an idea of Mabel trying to impress her puppet-obsessed crush with puppet show, and then they began brainstorming weird things that might happen. Some of the earlier ideas included Mabel getting super-knitting powers and making living sweaters, and puppets coming alive and attacking Mabel (Alex even made a drawing of that).

Soos never tasted alcohol in his life. As for Stan… Well, there’s the reason his nose is this color.

There will be more about Ford’s (mis)adventures beyond the portal in the Journal. Alex couldn’t talk about it much, but he gave a little teaser: Ford was thrown into a dimension, that was controlled by Bill (or his lackeys); there, his top priorities were: 1) learn to survive, 2) make a weapon capable of destroying Bill; on his journeys Ford made many friends and even more enemies and eventually became an interdimensional criminal. There will be a wanted poster for Ford in the upcoming Journal (and even more “Rick and Morty” references)

The journal will also have more info on Ford’s & McGucket’s adventures during their youth.

One of the chapters in the upcoming choose-your-own-adventure book will reveal something important about Bill’s dying message.

Giffany is still alive, she managed to import here code somewhere, before her disc was destroyed. Again, more on that in the Journal.

Originally, Soos was supposed to go by his full name (Jesus), but Disney advised against it, thinking that some people would accuse the show of blasphemy. But the decision to give Soos shortened name backfired, since many people thought his name was “Zeus”.

Originally Bill didn’t have a surname, but Disney again advised against it, since they were afraid that people behind the character “Mr. Bill” might sue them for copyright infringement. So Alex came up with the name “Bill Black”, he thought it sounded cool and mysterious, but it turned out there was a some real guy with that name, and Disney was afraid he might sue them. All the other names Alex came up with were rejected for the same reason. Eventually, one late night, Alex was coming up with ciphers for the upcoming episode and thought “What if I just name him Cipher?”. The rest is history.

There was a scene in “Sock Opera”, that had to be cut for time, where Bill claimed, he was behind many great minds of the history, like, for example, helping Isaac Newton discover gravity and helping Stanley Kubrick fake the moon landing.

Bill can never go back to the place he came from. Alex also hinted that there may be more about his origins in the Journal, although not much, since Bill is the kind of character that benefits from being mysterious.

Dipper’s real name is NOT Michael, Alex, Mabel or Bill.

There was supposed to be a sub-plot in the finale, where clones #3 & 4 would try to kidnap Dipper and go back home with Mabel instead of him, but it was cut due to being too confusing.

Alex is talking with Disney about making some Gravity Falls comics, although nothing is concrete yet.

This movie gave an entire generation of children a script for how to handle this issue. It showed marginalized kids that it’s okay to call people out, and gave them a script for how to do so firmly but with compassion

It also gave privileged kids a script for how to respond to being called out– which is to listen, have compassion, apologize, and never do the problematic thing again

It also managed to convey this to all the adults who brought their kids to the movies, and all the rest of us who just went because we wanted to

1. Steven Grant “Old Man” Rogers (“Well golly gee,” he bitches, deadpan)

2. Steve & Nat having to share warmth on some kind of cold weather mission (please take a moment to picture Tasha curled up and huddled in his huge man arms because they’re best friends I’m dying) 

3. Actual New Yorker Steve Rogers. Occasional rage when driving an actual car. Yelling at cabs when they almost run him over and/or splash water in his direction. (“WHADDAYA DOIN, HUH? JESUS!”) Pastrami on rye. If the cheesecake isn’t six inches tall it isn’t a goddamn cheesecake. Balking at Chicago style pizza, which he actually may not have known about, considering it was first made when he was at war. Super nice to tourists. Super disgusted when Stark plans a weekend at the Shore. And finally, Food Trucks: The Autobiography Of an American Hero. 

4. Steve actually acting his age, re: sitting somewhere bored with his chin propped on his hand and messing with filters on insta, one shameful post-gym selfie at a time. Sometimes he ends up slouched in a chair, texting, oblivious to everything else. On this note, Steve fitting in DISTURBINGLY WELL with the current population of like 60% of Brooklyn, that is to say, hipster humanities majors  

5. Steve Rogers actually speaking the way an asshole kid raised in Brooklyn in the early/mid 20th century who then graduated to the Army would speak (stubbing his toe getting food in the middle of the night, like, “Jesus motherfucking Christ, fuck me, fuck”)

6. For that matter, Bucky talking that way (“What the fuck is this?” he demands, staring, horrorstruck, at deep dish pizza in front of him. “What the shit is this, asshole?”)

There are going to be ten, I’m sorry

7. Natasha paints her toenails purple and her feet are always cold and every time she’s on the couch w/Clint she shoves her feet under his thighs

8. Steve listens to Turn Down For What literally a disturbing amount of times a day

9. Bucky missed Sinatra by one year and promptly falls head over heels for his voice in a totally no homo way and plays his music nonstop and hums it when he’s in the field

in case you don’t know, Gail Simone wrote Deadpool

I’m sorry you’re having a crap day

please let your day be improved by the story of

BONNIE PARKER

ACTUAL TEXAN DISNEY PRINCESS (+ADDICTION, +POTTYMOUTH, +PREMARITAL AND EXTRAMARITAL SEX, +TATTOOS, +A WHOLE SLEW OF NON-PRINCESSY THINGS)

BBY SPENT ALL HER XP ON LOYALTY AND LEFT NONE FOR THINGS LIKE SOUND JUDGEMENT, SELF-PRESERVATION, AND A STEADY MORAL COMPASS

so in October 1910, a baby girl is born to a bricklayer’s wife in Rowena, Texas, USA. her name is Bonnie Elizabeth Parker. little Bonnie has an interesting childhood; her father dies when she is 4 and her mother moves the family to West Dallas

aka Crap Dallas A Bit To The West That Dallas Renamed So They Could Distance Themselves From Poor People

despite living in Crap Dallas, the Parkers are at least able to keep above the water. Bonnie discovers two great artistic loves: poetry and theatre. she performs in school plays, often to great acclaim, and excels academically (particularly with her writing).

all of which means jack shit because OH HEY IT’S DUSTBOWL TIME

CRAP DALLAS IS NOW EVEN CRAPPIER BECAUSE NOBODY HAS ANY MONEY. AND EVERYTHING IS COVERED IN SAND

so teenage Bonnie has to put aside her Broadway dreams and get a series of waitressing jobs that keep not working out, at least one because she kept giving baked goods away to homeless people.

that’s right: half of America’s most notorious outlaw couple got fired for feeding the homeless. cue the bird friends

except wait! Bonnie does have one skill besides waitressing and art shit that can’t possibly go anywhere because she’s stuck in Crap Dallas: always having a boyfriend

so at the age of 16, Bonnie boyfriends her way out of high school by marrying a classmate named Roy Thornton. who…is basically in the same boat she is re: being dirt poor. so they move to a house in a slightly different part of Crap Dallas

(damn okay Bonnie I love you but you could at least marry for money. think big picture here)

but no Bonnie cannot marry for money because Bonnie is a serious romantic. she is in fact a terminal romantic, as time will tell.

Roy turns out to be a cranberry fucknut who sleeps around, may or may not have been physically abusive, stays away for weeks at a time, and ultimately gets arrested for robbery. they separate for good a year after their wedding, but Bonnie never divorces him. she claims it would be kicking Roy when he was down (but publically running around with another man isn’t??? idk)

she probably lived to regret the “Bonnie + Roy” heart tattoo on her upper thigh

no joke. she also died still wearing her wedding ring. anyway regardless it was very much over by New Year’s 1928. she wrote in her journal “Let all mengo to hell!”

same Bonnie. same

anyway that lasts maybe two years before she’s making cocoa for a friend who’s broken their leg and who should walk into the kitchen but that friend’s other friend, Clyde Barrow

I don’t know that time stops and fireworks suddenly explode and angels sing around them but man I would not be surprised

because these two fall in ~*lurve*~ right off the bat

(Clyde has his own story but that’s another post. basics are: aspiring musician, car enthusiast and occasional thief, small-time crook, good marksman but doesn’t even like shooting birds, prefers shooting clay pigeons or tin cans to the point where the other boys think it’s kinda weird. that last bit is important)

anyway they date for two years, during which both parties do brief stints in prison. 

TWO YEARS

THEY HAD BEEN DATING 8 TIMES THE LENGTH OF KIM KARDASHIAN’S FIRST MARRIAGE BEFORE THE WHOLE “OUTLAWS ON THE RUN” THING STARTED

in 1932, everything kind of starts to go smash. Bonnie smuggles Clyde a gun in prison, enabling him to break out. he is captured in Ohio and would have received a relatively light sentence- except that the Texas governor wanted to seem like he was cracking down hard on crime. all crime. therefore, a petty criminal and first-offense jailbreaker wound up sentenced to 14 years at Eastham Prison Farm. aka the worst prison in 1930s Texas

Bonnie is heartbroken, but eventually starts dating a bit again. when Clyde is paroled later that year, suffering severe PTSD and paranoia as a result of being brutally and repeatedly raped by another prisoner (and minus two toes he cut off in an attempt to be released on medical grounds- not an uncommon practice at Eastham), he showed up at her house as she was about to leave on a date. apparently she shouted, “darling!” and ran into Clyde’s arms

man can you imagine being her date though? kind of feel sorry for the guy. anyway

Clyde’s personality has apparently done a trauma-induced 180, as he is now paranoid and quick to anger. the only thing the same, according to his younger sister Marie, was his love for Bonnie

he starts robbing again, with the help of his brother Buck, Buck’s wife Blanche, and Bonnie. apparently this is the Same First Letter method of outlaw gang recruitment. anyway, a robbery goes south. Clyde feels he has no choice but to shoot a policeman- the first person he’s killed in his criminal career

now things are more serious. now it’s murder, not just robbery, and in Bonnie’s case accessory to murder. Bonnie tells her mother she’s gotten a waitressing job in Utah or somewhere, and they run

over the next two years, they do the same thing: rob and run. and in some cases, when Clyde thinks it’s necessary, murder and run. Bonnie never actually shoots anyone, despite rumors (some of them quite lurid), but she does help reload Clyde’s and Buck’s guns during shootouts. she’s pretty definitively accessory to several murders, and she’d probably get a steep sentence if they were caught- or be executed alongside Clyde, who’d almost certainly get the chair. one gang member will later report that they had a suicide pact in case one got captured

through it all, though, they never stop doting on Bonnie’s niece and nephew and both are crushed when the children die young. they try to always pay the people who shelter them, sometimes with their only gas/food money. they once stop to give two children a ride to school, at the end of which Bonnie gives them both gum and tells them “We were going to take you with us because no-one would shoot if we had two children held up in the windows, but we found we couldn’t do it. Never get in another car with someone you don’t know”

Bonnie keeps writing poetry. she buys a rabbit for her mother one Easter, who she names Snowball. the pair visit their families as often as they can. everyone tells her to leave Clyde, even Clyde himself. she refuses.

in spring of 1934, at 24 years old, addicted to alcohol and painkillers to ease the pain of the horrific leg burn she suffered from battery acid in a car accident, unable to walk more than a few steps unaided, Bonnie Parker is gunned down with Clyde on a lonely road in Louisiana. she apparently outlived him by a few seconds

there are many other factoids I could tell you, like that Bonnie was apparently a bit psychic and that’s how the pair evaded the police’s best-laid traps so consistently. I could tell you how she wrote in a poem “To few it’ll be grief/To the law a relief/But it’s death for Bonnie and Clyde.” I could tell you how she didn’t smoke cigars, and was adamant that the press should stop claiming she did. I could tell you all these things, but in the end, it doesn’t change who she was.

Bonnie Parker was a young woman who loved, as she said “but unwisely.” she loved for better or worse, and aided in some pretty terrible things because she believed in that love and the man that was her beloved. she was a kid, young and not very bright in some respects

WOW THAT STOPPED BEING FUNNY

OKAY SO THE MEDIA LOVES BONNIE AND CLYDE AND THE ONLY THING THEY LOVE MORE IS HATING ON BONNIE

YE. GODS.

“Bonnie corrupted Clyde”

“Bonnie was an evil harlot homicidal bitch”

“Clyde was the psychic one and he let the ambush happen as a ~noble sacrifice~ to rid the world of Bonnie’s senseless, irredeemable evil” (I’m looking at you here History Channel miniseries)

um. excuse me, but she never actually pulled the trigger here. are you going to talk about her trying to get a pony for her niece and nephew? are you going to talk about the fact that she and Clyde prayed regularly and she died wearing a cross necklace? are you going to talk about the fact that THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO FUTURE FOR THEM BUT A LIFE OF ABJECT POVERTY IN THE DALLAS SLUMS AND THAT MAY- JUST MAY -HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO THE WHOLE ROBBERY THING?

are you going to talk about anything that doesn’t fit your nice, easily-packaged “devil’s whore” character? 

yeah, I didn’t think so

the most accurate fictionalization of Bonnie’s story to date, the Broadway musical Bonnie and Clyde, was critically panned for not being “glamorous enough” or “interesting enough.” and if that’s not cruel irony, I don’t know what is

Gotta reach for that outrage.

Elements Aesthetic: Chaos

“It’s a cruel and random world, but the chaos is all so beautiful.”  -Hiromu Arakawa

Tertiary Elements: The Effectors

Luck

Fate

Chaos -Here