Untitled

I worked for a computer company many years ago.  A talkative and annoying big tall man used to view himself supreme over others due to his technical savviness.   He would stop people at random and engage in endless waffle, mostly about himself, long one-sided monologues about his achievements and qualifications.   There was another good reason to avoid this man, and that was because of his foul breath.   He had a habit of moving really close when speaking, and when he opened his mouth, a thousand-year-old toxic odour would escape him. I avoided him at every opportunity, but there was no escaping him in the office, no matter how hard we tried. I needed the bathroom, and it was occupied.  I waited outside, and eventually, when the door opened, it was Dragon Breath.   It was a hot day, and he was perfusing badly.  He was wiping his wet hands with tissues, his tie half undone, bulging eyes and a red face.   The smell was terrible; I wasn't sure if it was from the bathroom or him.  I needed to escape, so I made an excuse, rushed into the bathroom, and locked the door.  It was smelly, so I held my breath.  My eyes fell on the ghastly imprint of Dragon Breath's sweaty bottom on the toilet seat! I left that company soon after. #sweatybottom #smellyman #mrbottom https://www.instagram.com/p/COue4yogAcx/?igshid=myjduj83n5cv

In the early '90s I was a purchasing manager at a computer company in London. There was an important computer show due to take place in Taiwan. I was asked to attend and establish new partnerships. I flew with a work colleague, and it was a long journey with a couple of stops along the way. We finally reached our destination, it was late at night, and I found that my suitcase was missing. I was apologetically informed that it would arrive on the next flight and delivered to my hotel. I was desperate for a change of clothes as I could not see myself in jeans and trainers at the show. We stopped at an all-night tailor shop that promised to deliver a suit the next day; this was not feasible. The tailor had several second-hand items, and my colleague suggested that I consider buying something as a backup. We were both exhausted and desperate for sleep, so I just picked at random, and we retired for the night. The next day, my suitcase had not arrived, and I had to be at the show in time for our meetings. I was desperate for something to wear and rummaged through the pile of shirts and trousers that I bought the night before only to discover that they were all unsuitable for the occasion. We were running out of time, so I swallowed my pride and put something on and then hurried out of the hotel. The shuttle that took us to the show was full of businessmen and women in suits. I was the only one who looked like Disco Stu, a drug dealer or a pimp. I will never forget the faces of our hosts when they greeted me: “purchasing manager from London, you??!?!” #discostu #pimp #drugdealer #snoopdogg https://www.instagram.com/p/CN4CSfwggdE/?igshid=1k8lo6en7mknh

In 1984, I shared a dorm room with two other guys. My roommates were friendly, but nonetheless, we felt cramped. Later, the school admins decided to shove a couple of additional students into our room. Oddly enough, they both looked years older than their age and were very rough.  The pair got into a fight over the choice of bed.  They swore at each other's mothers, even though they were actually brothers. They then lit up cigarettes against school regulations, put on music, and spoke loudly nearly all night. We struggled with these two; they were dirty and annoying. Resentment crept in; we wished they were not in our room. Every day that went by was more punishing. We asked a supervisor to move them to another room, but no one listened. The situation continued to worsen. Students were all left laundry bags for our dirty clothes on Mondays to be collected on Tuesday afternoon. Each bag had the 's name and dorm room for identification and re-delivery. Tuesday, we all had placed our laundry bags by the side of our bed, ready for collection. I ran into our dorm room, where I met with one of my roommates. He asked me what I was up to, and I told him to keep watch. I reached for my scissors and opened both bags that belonged to the annoying pair. I quickly went for their trousers and cut my way through the legs turning one into very short shorts and the other cut below the knee. I also cut their long sleeve shirts and turned them into skimpy t-shirts. I returned the items to the bags and fastened them. The week went by quickly, and I had forgotten about the whole thing. Until I spotted the pair walking by the school entrance in their 'modified' uniforms. There were roars of laughter from fellow students.  The supervisor, unamused, demanded an explanation. I could not contain myself when the one in the short shorts struggled to explain the mysterious shrinking of his long trousers into Daisy Dukes shorts after laundry day. #shortshorts #funnystory #crazytimes #whatthehell #daisydukes https://www.instagram.com/p/CNXuYmfgnid/?igshid=mj5q6ey9vxpl

Years ago, my wife went through an IVF process. The surgeon being a friend, invited me to the recovery room. He asked a nurse to fetch me a disposable visitors coat, but she said they had run out. He instructed her to get me one of their gowns. He said that he saw no problem since I was a personal friend. So I ended up in the recovery room dressed as one of the medical staff, a surgeon no less. My wife was drifting in and out of sleep, and I let her rest. A while later, the surgeon joined me, and we stood to one side, speaking in hushed tones so as not to disturb anyone on the ward. The surgeon left, and my wife was still asleep, so I whiled the time by walking around the ward.  “Doctor, please can you tell me how did it go?” It occurred to me that someone was addressing me, and I saw a couple from an adjacent cubicle. They mistook me for one of the medical staff because of my uniform. I reassured them that all would be ok and ask the nurse to attend to them. They thanked me with beaming smiles, and I must say, I enjoyed my new-found status as a doctor. Just as I moved away from them, a lady waved at me to get my attention, and this one was more specific. She asked me something that I did not understand, so again, I told her that all will be well and that the nurse was on her way. She looked puzzled but still managed a smile and thanked me. By the time my wife had woken up, I had attended to several patients with the same line “All will be well, I'll send the nurse over!”   Alas, it came to an end when we had to leave. I had to dispose of my gown, and that was the end of my fun.  No more Dr Garo; I was back to being me.   Meh! #ivf #ppe #funnystory #funnystories #happydays https://www.instagram.com/p/CNK3NwdgGw9/?igshid=lila7l43cziu

I was on a flight from Lebanon seated next to a spoilt little brat and his nervous young mum. The boy was horrible to his mum, demanding things and throwing objects around.  After take-off, he calmed down, but no sooner had the captain switched off the seat belt sign, he transformed into a real-life version of the doll, Chucky. He demanded a specific toy, which his mum had erroneously packed with the luggage. The boy went on an all-out rampage, screaming and yelling. Things spiralled out of control when a stewardess offered him a soft drink. He knocked it over, spilling it over his mother, her seat and the floor. I turned away to look out of the window and thanked God for noise-cancelling earphones. Then I felt a tap on my shoulder, it was the mum. "Excuse me, I really need the bathroom. There's Pepsi all over me. Would you please keep watch over my son? Here, these are his favourite biscuits... give him one if he asks for it, thank you." Nothing happened for the first few seconds; the brat and I just stared at each other. He tried to unfasten his belt, and I would not let him, we struggled, then he tried to bite me. I did not want him to run amok on the plane, so I used my arm to restrain him. I offered him a biscuit, and he slapped my hand away. I told him very calmly that the biscuits were delicious and that if he was a good boy, I would give him more. To demonstrate how good the biscuits were, I took one out of the bag and ate it. He did not like that at all, and this led to more tantrums. He pushed hard against my arm and then elbowed me in the ribs. We were on the verge of a full wrestling match. I had enough of him, and I must admit, I savoured tormenting the brat by eating his biscuits! Suddenly, I heard, "What are you doing?!!" The mother had returned to find her son's head in my clasp and me munching on a biscuit. I let go of him immediately and told her that her son was great; we were having fun together. Of course, she did not believe me and just stared at me. I went back to watching the clouds. The cheeky brat was very quiet for the remainder of the flight. #lebanon #spoiltbrat #flight #flightattendants #airlines #madness https://www.instagram.com/p/CMQFA8XFGvr/?igshid=1rs5vm4ar0fvj

The Covid nightmare will come to an end one day, and then facemasks will become redundant. With the inevitable re-emergence of a free society, we once knew, many people will revert to wearing a different mask, one that pre-dates Covid; the social performer mask. Some people may no longer feel the need to adorn one; their isolation may have contributed to their growth and confidence. Others may not be as fortunate but will be relieved all the same to see an end to the isolation and its associated torment. I believe that we are all presented with a choice. The choice of friends, priorities or ambitions. It is never too late to start again, with or without a mask. You just have to choose wisely; you will be wearing it for a very long time to come. #facemask #covid19 #covidvaccine #happydays #loveyourself #forgiveness #miracles #angels https://www.instagram.com/p/CL0D8n7lNKx/?igshid=qo4ggamrbv37