#smellyman

My brain: Lice hoe.

I worked for a computer company many years ago.  A talkative and annoying big tall man used to view himself supreme over others due to his technical savviness.   He would stop people at random and engage in endless waffle, mostly about himself, long one-sided monologues about his achievements and qualifications.   There was another good reason to avoid this man, and that was because of his foul breath.   He had a habit of moving really close when speaking, and when he opened his mouth, a thousand-year-old toxic odour would escape him. I avoided him at every opportunity, but there was no escaping him in the office, no matter how hard we tried. I needed the bathroom, and it was occupied.  I waited outside, and eventually, when the door opened, it was Dragon Breath.   It was a hot day, and he was perfusing badly.  He was wiping his wet hands with tissues, his tie half undone, bulging eyes and a red face.   The smell was terrible; I wasn't sure if it was from the bathroom or him.  I needed to escape, so I made an excuse, rushed into the bathroom, and locked the door.  It was smelly, so I held my breath.  My eyes fell on the ghastly imprint of Dragon Breath's sweaty bottom on the toilet seat! I left that company soon after. #sweatybottom #smellyman #mrbottom https://www.instagram.com/p/COue4yogAcx/?igshid=myjduj83n5cv

Dirty as fuck but loving my new job. #menthatbuildstuff #manlyjob #smellyman

Always get on the bus last so you can choose who you sit with, not the other way around.