BEAST MODE

“Okay, but that’s not the end of the story. Then, he got up from the iced over lake and just started chasing the goat around. Weird, right? And we think American schools go hard.”

"Bruh I was homeschooled. If you want wacky stories I've got that shit in the bag."

“This is what you get for being old?”

“Yes...no. I don’t know!”

“Does that often work for you, darling? Most of the men who tried those on me didn’t end up very well. But then again, most of them tried naughtier things. Yours are rather tame compared to others.”

“I’m out to get a laugh not to get all up in the pants party. Most people are pretty shitty.”

“It’s not easy being green. At least you aren’t a blue studwaffle.”

“I whole heartedly agree with kermit. Dude. Grooooosss.”

“You are clearly the superior green guy,” she assured him. The Hulk was cool and everything, but her new friend had a point. The guy’s catchphrase was Hulk SMASH! Kara laughed at Garfield’s antics, taking another drink. “Oh, oh! I’ve seen that one!”

“Thank you! Someone who gets it.” He grinned, genuinely pleased because aw yeah, take that Avengers! You totally chose the wrong green dude. “The Torch is ruining my love life. That’s not even fair I didn’t even get a chane to make a fool of myself in person.”

“No shit. Dog bullies deserve to be…I dunno, fill in the blanks.”

“Bad things, and dog shit in their beds always.”

“Why did a green monkey bite you?” He’s nice enough to keep this thought to himself, but he really wants a green monkey now.

“Oh! Oh man, so my parents were like ace biologists and they were like, searching for this rare species and while they were wrangling one, guess I got too close or something and it bit me.”

Jeannette just laughs, shaking her head. “You, darling, are quite an amusing one.” She was going to continue, but most of the lines she’s heard aren’t appropriate. And he’s rather young, she doesn’t want to shock him.

Garfield grinned, “I try. You know, being amusing and stuff. Gotta pick up the chicks some how.”

“Actually kinda warm. The temperature’s going up.”

“...You’re a menace...named Tim. This is what I get for caring, and also being the cool older dude.”

“There’s a difference between Dick moves and dick moves– I thought you could tell the difference.”

“Dude! I -- you -- dude!”

“I haven’t heard that one. Or many others. I don’t get complimented on my physical appearance often. So, if it was genuine, thank you.”

“Wait, what, you’re kidding?! Like, whoa, that’s--whoa. Uh, that’s wack.You’re like hella pretty.”

She laughs, shaking her head. This boy is adorable, she wants to keep him. “Here, how about this one?  ‘ Do I have scarlet fever, or is it you who is making me so delirious?’” She recites, raising an eyebrow.

Garfield laughed, “Alright okay, but, does your left eye hurt? Because you’ve been looking right all day.”

“Did you just shittalk people who use Tinder? I’ll have you know that people find love using that. One of my employees met her husband on Tinder.”

“That’s like, super great for them, I’m really glad they’re supposedly happy, but no one is gonna swipe right for the green studmuffin man.”

He completely focuses on the monkey part. “You were bit by a monkey?”

“Yeah, it was green.”

“I…yeah. You just. Caught me off-guard.”

“Sorry dude, guess I should like, not cat call people, which, wow, that sounds awful, what was I thinking.”

“Really?!” Kara asked, excited, already pulling out her phone to google image search him. “I would think it would just be pictures of the Hulk because he was such a big name after the Battle of New York…” She said distractedly as she typed in ‘green guy’ with one hand and let the internet do its thing. “You could probably get them to take that one down,” she offered, an attempt at being helpful while she waited for the pictures to load. Then she was nodding sympathetically about the talks of registration. Not on the list of things that Kara wanted. Ever. “I work in the press, sort of, so I definitely know what you mean.” Not to mention the things she’d personally like to keep from the media. Alien things. She couldn’t help but return Garfield’s grin, though. “I’m logging it away for future reference, I promise.”

“Um, no, excuse! I’m green! All the time!” Okay maybe this was a tired argument for him but he had to do the thing, arm waving was always included. “He’s only green sometimes! And like, when he is, he’s all mean and grrrrrr and growly and Hulk MAD!” He scratched the tip of one pointed ear, muttered to himself. “and I mean people actually know his name.” He sighed, whole body slouching from it’s previous puffed up position. Like a cat with it’s fur on end. “Press, cruel mistress! How fickle you are!” he flung an arm over his eyes and half-swooned, before he peeked a single eye out from beneath. “But no seriously, there’s a photo of bird-me flying into a billboard on the Torch.”