this isnt funny but have it anyways
will byers stan first human second

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@gangrieve
this isnt funny but have it anyways

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I dont think ive had a bigger smile on my face then watching this Off Topic with Ray.
It just feels so nostalgic. Introducing Ray to new AH stuff. Reminiscing on old AH content. Its all just so wholesome. Im glad Ray was able to reunite with the boys to talk, even if its just this once for a long while. He slipped right back in.
me, @all the rayters (ray haters):
my bed is the only safe place in the universe. everywhere else is too loud and too much!!!

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GORE SENTENCE STARTERS.
* heavily triggered sentences, read & reblog with caution !!
â The blood felt warm and sticky between my fingers. â â Iâm busy digging the dry blood and fleshy skin from under my nails right now. â â Cut me open and finger my incision. â â Letâs cut his face off and wear it around the town. â â I never knew it would take this long to skin a human body. â â Hand me that drill over there, will you? â â Look at you, bleeding all over my new carpet! â â Oh, Iâll make you scream for me alright. â â There are maggots all over his face! Get them off! â â Can we fill the pool up with their blood then take a swim in it? â â You smell that? Thatâs the smell of decompsed bodies! â â Hang âem upside down, slice âem and watch the blood pour on me. â â You gotta drill âem right in the center of their forehead. â â Lick the blood from my fingers, unless youâre too chicken. â â Put the gloves on and help me remove these organs now! â â I dissect humanâs in my basement for fun. â â Iâm performing a surgery right now, care to join or better yet, watch? â â You ever eat a brain? No? Well, youâre eating one now. â â I have prepared brain for dinner tonight, hope you like⊠â â I prefer the human organs to eat over other species. â â Look, I cut if off their body for a souviner. â â I carve out their eyeballs and keep them for souviners. â â I spent all night making this mess, why would I want to clean it up? â â Fill those jars up with water, weâre going to put the organs in them. â â Alright, what organ are we taking from this one? â â You look so good with all that blood splatter on your face. â â This tub is used for fresh blood to bathe in. Cleanses the pores. â â I love to kiss those dead, cold lips! â â Iâd rather kiss the dead guy than kiss you! â â Blood has such a sweet taste to it! Mmmm! Yummy! â â Iâm sorry, what was that? You canât speak clearly without your tongue? â â Ever play soccer with an eyeball before? Itâs a lot easier for it to go flat⊠â â I will cut your heart out and eat it, just like you did to me! â â That rat bastard got me back, slipped on his brains and fell! â â Iâm sorry, I canât stop laughing at the girl talking with no tongue! Itâs too funny! â â Be careful in there! Thereâs brains and blood everywhere! â â Go on and cut me, go on! Do it! Do it already! â â Iâm going to mail your feet to the floor so you donât run away again! â â Stop screaming, iâm trying to carve our names into your skin! â â I just wanted to carve a heart in his skin but he wouldnât stop screaming! â â Go on and scream all you want! No one can hear you down here! â â There are fifty fucking paint buckets full of blood in here! â â I love the thick flesh under my nails when I claw them to death! â â Picking chuncks of flesh and meat from your teeth again? â â Guns arenât any fun! Theyâre too quick! â â Killing with a gun is like getting off in two seconds! Itâs boring! â â I got a knife with your name on it, if youâre up for it. â â After I kill you, Iâm going to eat every organ in your body! â â I just want to get to the spleen of the stomach before noon today. â â I will slice you right down the middle, right here in front of everybody! â â I enjoy the sounds you make when Iâm strangling you. â â I strangle people because that sound is sensational to hear. â â Leave the mess, never clean up parts of your finest work. â â I dug my nails so far into their skin I drew blood, then I licked it up. â â I shoved my thumbs into his eye sockets! â â Look, how do I look? Like the new face? â â All this blood came from just one body! â â Letâs go! Weâve got to move all these bodies tonight! â â I told you to stop sleeping with the dead bodies! â â Why is there a brain in your fridge? Is it.. from a human? â â Can you believe my knife went dull on me while I was stabbing away back there? â â Where is all the knives? Did you use them all? Again? â â What is that? Oh my, oh my god, what is that? Please tell me itâs not.. â â Iâve got a human heart in a shoe box, would like to see? â â I could see his heart when they shot him with the shot gun. â â How are you still alive? I can see your ribcage! â â When we get married, weâre tying dead bodies to our bumper instead of cans! â â I always wanted to go on a killing spree with some backseat hostages! â â Can I finger the punctured hole! Just one time please! â â How are they still alive? I can see theyâre ribcage! â â Wow, I can see your bone! Iâm going to touch it, just once! â â No offense but I really wanted to listen to music while sawing these limbs off. â â Iâm going to beat you with this sawed off limb, here I come! Iâm coming, you better run! â
  â i get âem from you, mostly, so not reallyâ but thatâs mean! â he punches rayâs shoulderâ somewhat hard, but mostly playfully. although, heâs pretty sure he has said something like that in the past. he does take the items given, starting to get impatient. â come on, rayâ if you wanna do all that shit then letâs road. why do you even need the gun out right now, anyway? â
â   cause i wanna look like a fucking badass driving your car,   donât be dumb.      â       they peel out of the garage messier than ray wouldâve liked but the car handles extremely well,    it crawl along the pavement and purrs under his hands:    itâs sexy as fuck.      ray grins and rolls down both windows,  gets some music going.       â    hey ,     i thought you liked it when iâm mean.  thatâs,  like,  your thing right.   i like bullying your dumb ass.   â
[my_edit]
sb: describes their muse beautifully w/ some poetics thrown in  me:  adult acne, bowl cut and an ugly ass hoodie Â

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good trouble (2019â)
 â so iâd buy you some with weed in it, jack arse. â he didnât know where heâd get itâ he only goes to ray for literally everything. he didnât have to do it, though, so it was fine. he slid into his passenger seat. almost everything was fuckinâ solid goldâ the steering wheel, the dash, the rearview mirrorâ everything except for the seats. they were a nice black leather. gavin knew when too much was too much. (and he already testing full gold with another carâ and he loves it, but he wasnât going to let other people drive that one). â probablyâ you can get anything for the right price. purple would probably be easier to find, though. â
â   gav,   do you even know how buying drugs works?   we should just print more money,   â   ray mimes gavinâs accent,  throwing open his bag.    â   thatâs some dumb shit youâd say.  â     he fishes around inside it,  first giving gavin a glock, his juul,  and a can of pepsi.    with that settled, ray pushed the car to start and immediately took the can of pepsi back.    â   priorities, gav.   see;  we coulda stopped at my plugs house for weed --- with texting him and getting there thatâs an hour out of the way.   obviously we gotta stop at sev for more juul and a drink.  thatâs another half - hour. iâm a smart bitch so I always have a plan.   â    heâs overselling his game, he knows it.  but gav was so naively out of his own head that heâd believe anything ray says.  ray just has to sell it.
i have no concept of time so daylight savings doesnt fool me
he let ray fumble around, smiling a little as he did it. and they say gavinâs the dumb bastard. â come onâ iâll buy you a new one. â whether that meant another juul, or even another fuckinâ car,heâd do it. heâd literally probably do anything ray wanted him to. he tossed his keys at rayâ whether he caught them or not would be a different story. â letâs goâ i wanna get there before the fish die of old age. â
â   mineâs got weed in it,  you dumb bitch.  â    miss him with that sugar daddy shit.  ray finds his keys in his sweater && immediately unlocks his car,  sneering playfully at gav.  he ducks inside and immediately procures a black backpack, singling it over his shoulder.  they couldnât just show up to some place without heat right?  heâs caught up with gav before he even makes it to his own car and jumps in the driver side.    â    fuck.  is this the dumb shit you spend your money on?   this is sharp,  dude.  do you think they have this velvet in shit - brown?  what about royal purple?   â      Â
  â ⊠ yeah, but iâm not making ryan take me to dinner. â not that he expected it to happen, but the thought of dressing ray up was still very exciting. like he saidâ no one let him do that shit but sometimes ryanâ and most times not even then. but ray ! he had such potential, but he hates himself and the lime light, so it never really goes anywhere. but gavin could make him look so good. probably. in his eyes, anyways. â fine. next time weâre going to eat at some rooftop county club shit, though. and youâre gonna have to let me get you a different sweatshirt or jacket or something. for your comfort moreso than mine. â after looking at it, it really wasnât in any state to even be going to red lobster. but, again, he wasnât about to force anything.
ray is not given enough credit for not offing gavin at least twice day.  all of that sounded atrocious. itâs probably all the trauma from middle school, ill - fitting suites and dates that had only asked him as a joke.  but gavin doesnât need to know that dumb shit and so he just keeps his mouth shut until they get to the car garage,  in which ray immediately bee - lines is for his purple mercedes, wrenching his arm back.    â   uh,  brb.  iâm gonna get my juul,    â     ray, finger - gunning, backed into his car and tried to open it.  he wrenches on the door again, and even though itâs locked he does it again.      â   hey,  vav:   who am i?   â      ray, in typical ray fashion,  throws himself at his car and rolls against the window of his locked car,     â    let me iiiiin!  leeeet meee  iiiiiiin !  â

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Who wants to live forever? Â Â Â Â Thereâs no chance for us. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Itâs all decided for us.
â„ Â Â Â NON - SEXUAL Â ACTS Â OF Â DOMINANCE .Â
feel free to edit or elaborate as you please .  ( add  â reverse â  to your message if youâd like to see how my muse would perform the action ) . otherwise , send in one of these for my museâs reaction to  âŠ
[ lit ]Â your muse lighting a cigarette , spliff , etc. for mine .Â
[ order ] Â your muse ordering for mine at a restaurant or bar .
[ guide ] Â your muse putting a hand on mineâs back to lead them .
[ pay ]Â your muse paying for mine at a store , bar , restaurant , etc . ( you can specify where or for what . )
[ open ]Â your muse opening a door for mine .
[ dry ] Â your muse drying mine off with a towel after a shower , bath , swimming , etc .Â
[ instruct ]Â your muse giving mine instructions / telling them what to do .Â
[ groom ]Â your muse adjusting mineâs appearance , such as straightening a tie , fixing their hair , or buttoning their shirt for them , etc .Â
[ direct ]Â your muse taking mine by the chin and telling them to look yours in the eye .
[ disagree ] your muse sternly telling mine  â no â .
[ rest ]Â your muse resting their arm over mineâs shoulder / s .
[ clean ] Â your muse cleaning a smudge of something off mineâs cheek , forehead , etc . Â feel free to specify what and how .Â
[ answer ]Â your muse answering a question meant for mine .Â
[ coat ] Â your muse holds mineâs coat out for them while they put it on .
[ pilot ]Â your muse taking mine by the arm , hand , shoulder , etc . to lead them .Â
[ stare ] Â your muse staring mine down .Â
[ placement ]Â your muse telling mine to sit down .
[ teach ] Â your muse taking control of mineâs hand , arm , hips , etc . to make sure they do something correctly . Â
[ patience ]Â your muse telling mine to be patient .
[ tears ] Â your muse wiping away mineâs tears .
[ swat ]  your muse swatting mineâs hand away from something theyâre not supposed to touch . Â
[ jewelry  ]  your muse clasping a piece of jewelry for mine , such as a necklace , or earrings .Â
[ enough ]Â your muse commanding mine to stop talking .Â
[ retrieve ] Â your muse requesting or ordering mine to retrieve them something .
[ invite ]Â your muse inviting mine to sit on their lap .
[ lean ] Â your muse inviting mine to lean into their side while theyâre sitting or laying together .Â
[ calm ]  your muse telling mine to  â just breathe â .
[ scold ] Â your muse scolding mine for something .
[ comfort ] Â your muse pulling mine into a reassuring hug .
[ approval ] Â your muse complimenting mine on a choice theyâve made .
[ beckon ]Â your muse beckoning mine to them without speaking .Â
[ laces ]Â your muse lacing , tying , or zipping something for mine , such as shoes , a dress , or a jacket , etc .
[ stay ]Â your muse telling mine to stay in the car .Â
[ defend ] Â your muse defending mineâs reputation , dignity , or safety for them .Â
[ feed ] Â your muse feeding mine something , feel free to specify what .
[ volume ] Â your muse demanding mine speak louder .
[ read ] Â your muse reading something to mine .
[ refill ] Â your muse refilling mineâs glass for them .Â
[ possessive ] Â your muse resting their hand on mineâs leg or the small of their back while theyâre sitting beside each other .Â