homestuck liker

video game abstractions are something else. i'm leveling Culinarian in FFXIV and i hit level 56. "hold on," i say to nobody in particular, and put my frying pan (hot, wet with freshly cooked sauce) back on my hip. "before I make any more hollandaise sauce, i need a better knife." there in my pocket, it awaits: a knife whose titanium edge is so keen that only a level 56 Culinarian can so much as grasp it. so i do that. and now i have no need for my old knife; it has served me well, but it physically cannot be used by any other. it is inextricably bound to my soul. i cooked with it before, you see. one cook per knife only. so i take it into my hands one last time and disintegrate it into various magical crystals. the concentrated fire essence extracted from within can be used to make more hollandaise sauce

Hey guys just started watching rvb I really like the pale blue dude I hope nothing happens too him

Oh shit

Wait he’s ok again nvm

Oh shit

No he’s fine

Oh shit

He’s good now

Oh shit

Wow he’s indistructable

Oh shit

I don’t think he can die

Oh….. shit

Oh ok so he’s like kinda ok now

Oh shit…

YOUVE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!

in a hotel room very cautiously removing my clothing slowly and constantly looking around the room shifty and scared as fuck anticipating attacks while a beautiful pair of women sitting side by side on the bed in matching lingerie excitedly but restrained with carefully lowered vioices cheer me on. they say Yes thats it thats how sex works! youre doing it right yeah! youve got it keep going! and im finally down to a sports bra and one tube sock when a car alarm putside startles me and i lunge for the empty handgun on the floor and put it in my mouth while they panic and scramble trying to calm me down petting my hair and cooing gently

i can be your lamest losercore boymutual

i love the phase "knock you into next week" because it implies that time travel can in fact be achieved with enough violence