Captured in this Moment

I do not know the correct pathway through this land.

Some would say it was the former route. Logical and reasonable. More to my liking, clearly, and for obvious reasons. Full of future.

But most did not see that road at night. How it meandered and became impassible at points. Sharp rocks and vines along the way making travel something terrifying and horrific.

A second pathway emerged. This one a strange way to have gone some may say. To an unknown destination that could be illogical and lovely all at once. An anomaly. And the pathway was silly and full of sunshine. Even as darkness emerged for the night, it was always a night with a full moon and the smoothe white pebbles reflected the calming glow.

Movement like water.

Like waves undulating against the sand

and gently cascading over the particles.

Shifting in synchrony; in time with one another. All lost to the simple melding that is their forms.

At the wave's edge the amalgamate of sea and shore and these two beings become one. Lost in the other.

Hushed wind and quietness which shall culminate in waves crashing in some form of eratic beauty.

The lights may already have been out. She may have fallen asleep. But she didn't know.

She knew though, that she had woken up at some point and he was kissing her bare back. She had been next to him naked, curled up small and content.

She must have been asleep then. So completely lost in that middle ground between sleep and wake. And he was kissing her back still telling her it was ok she was talking and didn't make sense.

She fell back asleep, all at once and while struggling to stay present.

After she had left a note under the desk-like in high school-she went back to those old days like it had always been. And who knows who got more out of that. Who lost something along the way they won't be able to retrieve.

It's hard to know which of them made more of a choice. Which would struggle with it longer.

And weeks they passed. Until the day of her birth when the earth tilted a different way.

And something became out of nothing. And this new path was one of the most unexpected events to have been. It came with it something beautiful. Beauty like peace and tranquility. And desire and love and simplicity. All in an instant of impulsive decision making.

You are a conundrum. And in being so...you are cruel. You are what I was warned of. What I was told to expect.

I loved you like the monarch loves the milkweed.

My survival was based on you. You gave me life.

Sweetness, I will be yours forever for I know not how to be anything but yours.

We are but strings to break. Like love just like me. Break me. Make me what you will. I will bend to it. I will break under you. Before you like the sand to waves I will break down. Slowly but a beach will form from your persistence.

And eventually my love, I will be a shell. Left there like so many others. Someone will pick up the empty thing. Hold it up. Wonder at its demise.

I love you, wanderer, like I have loved no other. You are salvation. And you know not any of it. Carry me a way from this despicable place.

How many people do you have to rotate through? How bloody many?

I love you.

Why the fuck are you talking to him?

Happy New Year's kiss in the moonlight.

Dragging her back into the hot tub.

You are such a good sport!

Stop fucking crying bitch.

Dappled sunlight landing on their bodies.

Black makeup staining the red sheets as she cried.

I could be with you forever you are my sun and moon.

And sometimes you are my stars when I couldn't breathe.

I love you.

I cannot change this.