The Over Thinker

Yung tipong gusto mo siyang makalimutan then your playlists decides to play a song that completely reminds you of him.

Get out of my fucking head

No matter how much you say to expect less, there will always be that hint of hope and it can kill you

We haven't even started, but I already lost you

I still think about you. Even though I'm not supposed to, I still do. You keep crossing my mind and I don't how to stop. The idea of being together is eating me alive even if I know that that is the last thing I should be thinking about. I'm in love with the idea. I'm in love about everything. You're different or at least that's what I want to believe. You're that kind of disaster. The type that I want to keep running into. Sometimes I wonder if I cross your mind. I want to believe that I do. I hope that you know that there isn't a day when I wish that you'd talk to me. Everything I see, everything I do reminds me of you. You left me doubting. You left me hungry for your presence. You left me without saying a word. You left me. And it's driving me completely insane. All I'm asking for is the closure I think I deserve. I'm asking for explanations that I believe is beyond reasonable. I want you to know that you'll be that person. The person that will never leave my thoughts. Give me a reason. You picked the wound that's barely healing. I thought you'd be that person who'd help me stitch it up.

I want to believe that people cross paths for a reason.

You won't know unless you try

Just as when you're getting attached to someone that they decide to leave you... You can't blame me for being afraid of attachments, but I don't regret not giving it a try

I hate that feeling when you become overly paranoid: "Did I mess up?" "Oh god I fucked up" "What if I said something?"

Lips dry and heart racing. I felt your body pressed against mine. I felt the warmth I’ve been longing. You arms wrapped around me gently and softly. I thought it was the alcohol. I thought it was just the vulnerable state we were both in. I turned to face you and I ended up holding you close and you holding me even closer. I never want to wake up. I never want to sober up.

You fell for me. But when I did, I was the only one falling.

You are so frustrating. Do you know that? I look back at the days, EVERYDAY, and believed that there's something between us, but you act as if there isn't.

I did my part. I did what I can. Why can't you appreciate that?

Why does it feel like I have no right to feel any disappointments or pain? I have been stripped off of my right to have a bad day. I can't always be happy. I can't always wear a smile. You have your bad days, why can't I?

I have to stop blaming myself for the things I never expected to happen