Diet Dracula

Still alive despite all efforts, I still love who I love and I will always want to die but fuck it we carry on

I’ve never loved someone as much as I love you

Something in the way

I just wish that you would call me up

VENTURA PARK BROKE MY HEART

Death death death death, death and distress it’s all I ever think about, it’s Daul’s birthday on Tuesday and I’m sad, in a perfect world it’s just me her and Zoë smoking and drinking coffee outside of a cafe in Paris, but honestly I didn’t even like Paris that much when I was there so maybe there is no perfect world and I’m just recalling a weird dream I had after smoking weed and drinking listerine, I’ve done worse

I don’t think I’ve ever really liked being alive and I don’t think I’ve ever felt like I’ve had a home outside of Tokyo, I was an anchor baby so it’s no real surprise, I’m aware that I’m a bad person and despite my efforts I don’t think that will ever change, January 3rd 2023 23:14, Tokyo, Japan, I’m counting down the days,

I miss Tokyo I want to go home

I hope Jessica Espinoza is okay, she might’ve been my very first love, her entire family was deported for no reason, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten over it I’m only remembering cause I’m watching Kill Bill and I would call her kiddo, she was born the same year as me but I would still lord it over her that I was older just by a few months, I was a sweet boy back then I miss that part of me sometimes it was just before everything got bad but maybe not cause it was probably bad for a long time, breaking into houses, running drugs, carrying weapons that was the day to day

Every once in awhile I remember you and us, whether it be in Shibuya, Saitama, Harajuku or New York I think about love, only sometimes, but you always held me down

I miss Tokyo so fucking much, why have I not just gone home?

Being manic is no fun, the highs are so high but the lows are so excruciatingly low, I want to die but I don’t, I hate it here (my brain)